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<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
#344
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* skye waits very impatiently for Duke Nuke'em Forever
< moxious> don't hold your breath
<@rlangis> we've all been holding our breath since '96
< moxious> and somehow you're still alive :\
<@rlangis> I cheated
<@rlangis> I took a breath every time they announced a delay
< sporkie> lol
< skye> roflmfao
#373
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< the-wes> is there a way I can tell if I'm inside of Screen from the command line?
< Wraithan> the-wes: echo $TERM
< marxu> what Wraithan said ^
< cjdaniel> What marxu said ^
< Rev_Slid3r> yup ^
< marxu> we are a conga line of RIGHT
#130
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< VxD> I hate working all of a sudden at this time of night, all I want
to do it eat munchies
< HentaiJess> you should watch some pr0n. that'll keep you from being
hungry...at least for munchies, anyway
< rlangis> who's been doing lines of catnip, eh?
< rlangis> yeah, try to sound authoritive with your pants down around
your knees in front of the computer
< HentaiJess> can you check the fan? it seems to be making this weird
"fap, fap" noise....
#92
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< rlangis> that's a cheap slut!
< vertex--> hmm where is this Raffles?
< vertex--> because I could go for lime juice and a slut right about now
< rlangis> I could go for a slut that cheap...but then again, you get
what you pay for
< malfunct`> ya know, for all of google's greatness, they can't make
orkut work
< malfunct`> 90% of all searches fail with a "Bad, bad server. No donut
for you" error
< malfunct`> actually thats 90% of all clicks on orkut end with that
< vertex--> yeah but a cheap slut is still better than orkut
< malfunct`> eh, I suppose, though I haven't been looking for sluts
< shiruken> you gotta shop around for the best slut deal
#158
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[12:56] <Weebs> I'm trying to think of something to eat for lunch
[12:56] <Weebs> any ideas?
[12:56] <VxD> penis
[12:56] <VxD> sliced and fried in butter
[12:56] <Weebs> no thanks, I only have one here and I'm saving it for a special
occasion
#358
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< dgibbons> Weebs: so when you going to see your new digs?
< dgibbons> basement or bedroom!
<@Weebs> :( dunno. Seriously the idea of moving is like a fat chick in a g-string to me
< dgibbons> cmon you pussy
<@newtMcKerr> so Weebs you must be pretty excited then
#397
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<Zolotkey> I wonder if windows people try to show their expenses by stating they prefer Pro over Ultimate or 95 vs 98, etc..
<Zolotkey> *e-Penis's
VxD> haha, that would be amazing
<VxD> "Yeah, well I built it myself from scratch, this Windows ME machine. Most people don't like this distro but I like showing my e-peen that I can make it do anything that their fancy Windows 7 can..."
<VxD> "Had to compile my drivers from scratch in C# since no one makes drivers for Win ME. Runs so much faster than pre-compiled packages..."
<marx> hahahahah, dying
<VxD> "I'm still running Windows 3.11, if it was good enough for my dad, it's good enough for me. Had to hack up a way to make it dial to my other computer over serial to get internet access but it works great now."
#242
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<@Weebs> girls making out is porn if it is in color
<@Weebs> girls making out in black and white is art
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<Baloo> So how's everybody doing tonight?
*rlangis wrings his hands and cackles maniacally
<rlangis> *cough* Oh, fine.
<lispy> i'm okay
<lispy> had a few beers
<lispy> fantasized about the barmaid
<lispy> realized my gf was there
<lispy> decided it was best to come home :)
<rlangis> yeah, masturbation in public places is frowned upon
<lispy> and why is that?
*lispy mubles about the uptight bastards
<Baloo> lispy enjoys public masturbation?
*cwells has joined #orlug(n=cliff@c-24-20-13-118.hsd1.or.comcast.net)
<cwells> men's velour gstring
<Baloo> That was strangely appropriate.
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08:11 <karrlii> :/
08:11 <VxD> why the long face karrlii?
08:12 <VxD> 8------/
08:12 <VxD> big nose
08:13 <karrlii> for you
08:15 <VxD> a big nose for me!
08:15 <VxD> yay *eats it*
#286
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<shiruken> break in the back
<shiruken> like you normally do
<VxD> I thought you were hinting at brokeback for a second there
<dooder> VxD : that might be cool. I think i'll at least try and get the holes dug this weekend
#366
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-!- Wraithan is now known as Wr__th_n
< NotoriousOIT> Wr__th_n: did you just have an involuntary vowel movement?
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: Sometimes vowel movements just happen, and you can't stop them =/
< NotoriousOIT> I hear that happens to lots of guys.
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: it was exlosive... i think my vowels were destroyed.
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<hearing_aid_with_attitude>immad
<baloo>hearing_aid_with_attitude: Turn up your hearing aid, then.
<hearing_aid_with_attitude>WHAT
<PenitentThingy>TURN UP YOUR HEARING AID
- --PenitentThingy has left the chat (Kicked by G4|CyBot. Reason: All caps is like YELLING. When you come back, turn off CAPS LOCK. Ok. Thanks. Bye.).
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<@VxD> I wonder what it's like to have a job you want...
<@hemp> I'm sure a lot of people want your job
<@hemp> just pretend you're one of them
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< jvoorhis> what is orlug?
< dgibbons> a irc channel
< jvoorhis> i saw :P
< dgibbons> it's the non lug affiliated oregon linux user group irc channel, it's never really linux related though
< dgibbons> lug-nostic? O.o
< dgibbons> It's like a blackhole in irc
< dgibbons> you put time in.. and you never see it again
< dgibbons> somehow the irc-gamma rays make you feel dumber too
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(16:01:50) virtualdev: I have a meeting starting right now
(16:01:55) bykguy: niiiice
(16:02:02) virtualdev: yeah, about my project plan
(16:02:14) bykguy: good times, have fun
(16:02:46) bykguy: step 1 of my project plan is to order a McMinnies Long Island Icet Tea
(16:06:05) bykguy: step two involves a coordinated effort between the sexy waitress, my hand, my mouth. It will involve the timely arrival of the desired product triggering my hand in to motion to accept the product and deliver it to my mouth for proper processing
(16:07:38) bykguy: major milestones of my project are arriving at McMinnies, ordering of the drink, and product intake... which is also the succesful completion point of the project
(16:08:10) bykguy: shortly there after a project report will be submitted to the urinal, and we'll be done.
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< karrlii> i have bad hair
< karrlii> i need to get it cut
< lispy> too bad penises don't work like that
< lispy> "My penis is too short, I better let it grow out"
< karrlii> haha
< karrlii> i don't like big penises they hurt
< lispy> as ken always says, "Is 11" big? I don't really know...I
haven't seen very many penises"
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<hemp> VxD, did you see the pictures of my new server closet? and how lonely it looks w/o a server rack?
<hemp> it's almost like looking at a small, wet puppy
<hemp> shivering in the cold
<hemp> no cover .... no heat ... no blankets ........
<hemp> sad puppy-dog eyes looking up at you ... hoping against hope that you'll take it in and cover it
<hemp> a slight, occasional whimper
<hemp> just enough to keep your attention
<hemp> not enough to be a nuisance
<hemp> oh VxD .... won't you rescue the poor little puppy?
<hemp> it doesn't ask much ... just a warm place to lay its tiny little head
<hemp> you don't even have to feed it if you don't want.... it can nibble on crumbs and hunt for scrawny mice .... maybe a spider or ant here and there..
<hemp> just a warm place to lay down
<hemp> won't you save the poor little puppy, VxD?
<hemp> won't you?
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< baloo> Build-a-bear workshop is creepy
< shiruken> whoa, wait a minute
< shiruken> you're a furry
< shiruken> and you think build-a-bear workshop is freaky?
< VxD> it's like they are making a fake soul
< VxD> it doesn't have a *REAL* furry heart
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<@Weebs> Oh! hemp,
<@Weebs> Did u ever fall in love, but knew they didn't care?
<@Weebs> U cry all night in misery, and almost go insane.
<@hemp> no you didn't ... you offered to make my wife give you a blowjob
<@hemp> that is not love
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<VxD> funny, I did that Monday
<VxD> TUNA
<pr0kfried> made a sammich, or had sex?
<VxD> sure
<shiruken> vxd probably did them at the same time
<shiruken> he's multi-tasking like that
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< NotoriousOIT> orlug is about fun, friendship, and that slightly dirty
feeling you get after being felt up in a dark alley by a
dirty old man who paid you $20
#13
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<floppyfw> the awesome Mandrake 8.1 system that can run apt-get
<VxD> god, that is sick floppyfw
<floppyfw> ya I know
<floppyfw> I'm apt to try it someday
? VxD slaps floppyfw with a copy of debian
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* VxD writes an exception handler for nuts ()
#197
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<shiruken> how many guys like girls who wear pigtails and dress up in a school girl uniform?
<shiruken> are they pedophiles?
<shiruken> you don't see girls asking you to wear a peter pan outfit
<Weebs> short skirts and handlebars... It's not about being a pedophile... it's about convienence
#77
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< Weebs[zof]> I think it would be weird to mount a pregnant woman who is
married, that I've dated her sister
#179
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<rlangis> fuck the girl scouts!
<rlangis> er...
<geekinpink> lol
<forkmaster> I could, but I think I would get in trouble
<geekinpink> isn't that their new moto?
<dooder> if it's not, it should be
<rlangis> no, that's the boy scout's new motto
<geekinpink> fuck the girl scouts...buy a cookie
<dooder> they can start selling cherries
#199
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< robbyonrails> at my last job, we convinced our boss to hire a teenage boy, so the porn downloading went way down as we had the boy to look at
#229
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[Weebs] so I hung out with my girlfriends friends on saturday night... it was odd. They all were vegan (my gf isn't) and I walked in with a bag of KFC food.
[Weebs] 2 of the 3 friends had been protesting a KFC that morning.
[Weebs] kinda awkward
[Weebs] after about 20 minutes of being scolded about eatting the death birds of american society they finally stopped
[Weebs] I was feeling kinda bad about the whole thing. They believe so strongly in animal rights and crap
[Weebs] so anyways we played monopoly for a while then they all started to leave.
[Weebs] Katie and I walked them out to their cars.
[Weebs] as sara (super vegan deluxe) opened her door I noticed something about her car
[Weebs] it had leather seats!
[@ thumper^] HAH!
[@ VxD] bwwwhahahahahaha
[Weebs] I was so ready to fly off the damn handle at her
[@ thumper^] JOO BE BUSTED, BIOTCH!
[Weebs] sara just got a job with PETA in georgia
[Weebs] so basically, she harassed people who were going to KFC for food in the morning, harassed me in the evening, then rode home on the lushious assmeat of a baby cow.
#371
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<@Weebs> for the past 2-3 years I've been getting emails from a golfball company
<@Weebs> today's topic was "Personalizing your balls: How to make them yours, how to make them know their yours in a group"
<@Weebs> I greatly enjoyed the laugh I got out of it
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<@[i]con> Arr!
<@[i]con> Avast.
<@Weebs> me hardy!
<@Weebs> parlay
<@[i]con> Arrgg.. I be the dread pirate swishy-hair, there be a storm
brewin' in me skivvies.
<@[i]con> Our company celebrates National Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day, it's
great.
<@Weebs> does your company also sponsor ass orgies?
<@Weebs> cuz that's pretty gay
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< kronq_> Oh shit -- some has hijacked my baby
< kronq_> I need to scrape together $50k
< dgibbons> man, for 50k, you can just make another one
< pud> oh much cheaper
< dgibbons> 25k and i'll make you one
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< Rev_Slid3r> I just now noticing a date error on the scheduling too
< VxD> did your system stand you up on the date?
< Rev_Slid3r> yes
< Rev_Slid3r> left me holding a floppy
#263
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virtualdev: I'm about ready to call it quits for the day
virtualdev: I feel like poo and have been working since 6am
bykguy: me too
bykguy: yuck
bykguy: i taste like poo, i think i have you beat
virtualdevi: I'm feeling the poo that tastes like you!
bykguy: SWEET
virtualdev: poo fondling
bykguy: mmmm, so warm and squishy
#347
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Keiku: lol
Keiku: i just hacked some noob that uses a mac :P what a d-bag
WaveFox: o.O
Keiku: heya Wavee
WaveFox: Yeah, that's not the best of things to boast about
Keiku: im sorry but i just rlly hate macs
WaveFox: Why?
Keiku: iunno
WaveFox: Oh nice. I love a reasoned arguement
Keiku: they have great software but they function like a fat guy after a hotdog eating contest
NotoriousOIT: flawed logic AND insults. WHY aren't you married yet?
Keiku: because im not old enough
WaveFox: Well, that's not obvious
***Keiku coughs
NotoriousOIT: true, they frown upon people marrying kindergartners
#191
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< keithgodat> i mean you dont just buy a car if it says "this is the
right car for you"
< VxD> if I can find a car that talks I'll buy it
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<shiruken> hrm, I made a tuna sandwhich this morning
<shiruken> for lunch
<shiruken> now, everytime I get my fingers close to my nose, I think I had sex
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< kraptv> I just posted a staff-wide email request wanting a brick phone.
< thumper^> heh
< thumper^> You're going to have a hard time finding a carrier for that
phone
< kraptv> You imply I am going to use it as an analog cell phone.
< thumper^> Well, what else? Going to nuke your nuts with it?
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[ absolutejoe] Darn VPN, I have to fix stuff from home ... darn technology ... I wouldn't have this problem if I was a yack milker, people wouldn't be bringing me their yacks saying, hey, I know you were sleeping, but could you milk my yack ???
#94
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< grishnav> So you're driving along in the desert, and your engine siezes.
You have no food or water, and for some mysterious reason,
will die if you not get rescued today. You cannot get to the
town that is 10 miles down the road, and for whatever reason,
nobody is going to come by. How do you get rescued?
< _vertex_> light your spare tire on fire
< grishnav> ...
< lispy> grishnav: start playing solitare?
< grishnav> I have no idea what the answer is.
< VxD> eat your own sperm to survive
< grishnav> I was thinking maybe "signal the helocopter that happens to be
passing overhead," but I didn't think to ask about the
airspace in time.
< lispy> well, whenever you play solitare someone comes by to tell you how
to play, and bam! you're resuced
< grishnav> lispy: lol
< grishnav> that fucking rocks
< lispy> VxD: who but you thinks to "eat your own sperm to survive"?
Hmmm? Who? That's just wrong....
< grishnav> well, it is an antidepressant
< grishnav> and a happy face might make you live longer
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<VxD> I was just reaching for the bottle of warmed lotion that I keep on top
of my monitor when...I realized I was at work...
#183
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<VxD> yes, hard to take a jackoff break in the company bathroom with a broken pinky...
<hemp> yikes
<VxD> oh c'mon, like you've never done that
<Weebs> nope sorry, you're alone in that one
<VxD> well I would have to have been huh
<Weebs> reach arounds are still jacking off...
<Weebs> a contractor doesn;t build his house... but he does build a house... catch my drift
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<@Weebs> effing hell man if you're going to post a pic of yourself with a
naked chick at least make sure it's a good pic of a naked chick
<@hemp> exactly
<@VxD> totally
<@sab_> you pimp what you got, and thats as close as he got
<@VxD> some crazy Ashland Marti Gras
<@Weebs> seriously, my penis is trying to go inside my body now... canine style
<@VxD> ...
<@Weebs> it's like a tube of lipstick :*(
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Weebs: I only read books on tape
hemp: +1
hemp: actually .. I also read books in movie form
Weebs: i makes porn more fun
VxD: you do?
hemp: don't you?
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<kth5> Don't argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. :)
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< marx> it's the 'sales and marketing kick off week' here at work
< marx> "S&M kickoff week"
< thumper^> You hiring? Do I need my own gear?
< thumper^> I have a crop and some karate belts.
< marx> hah, there are actually quite a few openings
< cjdaniel> that's what she said
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*** shebikibrown (~shebikibr@fern.shebiki.org) has joined channel
#darcs
<shebikibrown> PRIVMSG nickserv :IDENTIFY ishere
<lispy> ugh
ERC> /msg nickserv ghost shebikibrown ishere
*** shebikibrown (~shebikibr@fern.shebiki.org) has quit: Nick
collision from services.
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<@Weebs> http://verydemotivational.com/2010/08/27/demotivational-posters-borked/
<@VxD> bork bork bork bork
<@VxD> that's pretty messed up
<@Weebs> that's how my hand feels right now lol
<@VxD> too much jacking off?
<@Weebs> actually no
<@Weebs> I've got a girlfriend
<@VxD> too much jacking him off?
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< pr0kfried> chicks with tatoos always look trashy to me
< shiruken> depends on the tattoo
< VxD> "Slippery when wet"
< shiruken> "Instant Slut: Just add Alchohol"
< VxD> "Pull back tab to reveal prize"