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#82 + (12) - [X]
< pr0kfried> chicks with tatoos always look trashy to me
< shiruken> depends on the tattoo
< VxD> "Slippery when wet"
< shiruken> "Instant Slut: Just add Alchohol"
< VxD> "Pull back tab to reveal prize"

#37 + (-14) - [X]
<VxD> better yet, how about an online car sales site with pics of the car that
have people fucking on them
<linuxninja> YES!
<VxD> "Here is the interior, notice the high end CD/mp3 player next to Buffy's
knee"
<VxD> "you will also notice it is a stickshift, even if the shifter is
currently burried inside of Tina"
* linuxninja/#pdxlug almost loses his coffee
<VxD> haha, DRINK AGAIN
<VxD> "Around the rear of the car you can see Candy making full use of the
retractable power antenna"
<linuxninja> lol
<VxD> "And just below her you can see Mindy being assreamed by Bruno over the
SPACIOUS TRUNK"
<linuxninja> assreamed
<VxD> YEAH, ASSREAMED, GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!
<linuxninja> mmm...assreame
#92 + (-9) - [X]
< rlangis> that's a cheap slut!
< vertex--> hmm where is this Raffles?
< vertex--> because I could go for lime juice and a slut right about now
< rlangis> I could go for a slut that cheap...but then again, you get
what you pay for
< malfunct`> ya know, for all of google's greatness, they can't make
orkut work
< malfunct`> 90% of all searches fail with a "Bad, bad server. No donut
for you" error
< malfunct`> actually thats 90% of all clicks on orkut end with that
< vertex--> yeah but a cheap slut is still better than orkut
< malfunct`> eh, I suppose, though I haven't been looking for sluts
< shiruken> you gotta shop around for the best slut deal


#384 + (-12) - [X]
<@charlieS> it's not cool, really.. we have 128GB of RAM so the DB can
keep the working set in memory, else the whole app eats its
fucking shit
<@hemp> ya, that's not cool - unless of course it was intended to be an
in-memory database; there are a few
<@hemp> generally not well regarded, but there's an idiot for every db
<@charlieS> yeah, no. It was just explosive growth and poor planning.
<@hemp> that's what she said
#305 + (3) - [X]
<baloo> http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/?cpg=48H
I might have to get one of these.
<baloo> I keep sleeping through my alarm clock
<CryptoMole> cool clock
<baloo> Yeah.
<kraptv> hi clock lover
<CryptoMole> wow cool geek toys here
<NotoriousOIT> mmmm....vibrating alarm cock....
<baloo> I like how my alarm clock gets progressively louder, but the tone sucks so I usually put it on the radio, and I like how I can adjust the snooze time, but the problem is it still gives up after 3 tries.
<NotoriousOIT> *CLOCK*
<NotoriousOIT> I MEANT CLOCK GODDAMNIT

#117 + (26) - [X]
< matchboy> karrlii: i peaked at your photos on your site of you in a
swimsuit!
< matchboy> you're way hotter than vxd in his
< matchboy> but, i still prefer the idea of baloo in his bear suit in a
swimsuit

#338 + (2) - [X]
< slid3r> hehe when we saw that commercial on tv .. my gf was like 'thats dumb' but I could totaly relate
< slid3r> it is a weird feeling
< slid3r> altho my car was never stolen, other stuff was
< shiruken> like your virginity
< slid3r> *sobb* I was only 28 when it happened
< slid3r> (so not ready)
< shiruken> the beard tickled the back of your neck?
< slid3r> yes, I begged helga to shave, but being european .. she refused
< shiruken> damn euros
< slid3r> word
< shiruken> and her armpit beard
< slid3r> surprisingly clean smelling tho
< slid3r> which is odd for a woman of 300 pounds
#160 + (-9) - [X]
<VxD> haha, I'm finally getting around to the PDXLUG thread on
bribing/stalking Linus
<VxD> holy hell that was a long thread
<lispy> heh, creepy ass PDX crowd :)
<charlieS> lol :)
<lispy> was anyone trying to have his baby?
<GiR> I got a coupon!
<lispy> besides, karrlii of course

#353 + (14) - [X]
< vtpark> I am watching some sort of fetish tv show on Virgin 1.
< VxD> mmm, virgin fetishes!
< vtpark> they are on dungeon fetishes right now
< vtpark> I kind of tolerate commercials more because I don't feel like a
target demographic anymore.
< VxD> after the sex change your whole buying pattern doesn't fit in the
box huh?
#20 + (6) - [X]
<VxD> would you could you with a whore, would you could you against the door?
<VxD> you know, dirty Dr. Seuss just seems to come naturally
<rlangis> I would do it with a whore, I would bang her up against the door
<rlangis> I would bang her all night long, I would bang her in a throng
#260 + (-15) - [X]
<@shiruken> hell, I bet your sister gets exploited less than IIS and ASP

#137 + (1) - [X]
<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <shiruken> like, you don't pick up the name, 'Bukkake Bill'
by shining shoes
<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <HentaiJessOIT> Bukkake: when a mommy and a daddy and a
daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy get together
so they can give mommy a special facial moisturizing treatment.

#329 + (-7) - [X]
< NotoriousOIT> mmm bacon
< fords> i mean, i do love bacon.
< NotoriousOIT> who DOESN'T?
< VxD> it doesn't love me
< fords> yaweh
< fords> but i'm dead on my feet already. do i have time for bacon?
< NotoriousOIT> it's like concentrated deliciousness
< NotoriousOIT> true, cooking bacon is not recommended when you're
exhausted
< fords> i'm not THAT exhausted, but even still. that's work.
< fords> i dunno. i think i am gonna do it.
< NotoriousOIT> it's not recommended to cook bacon in the nude either
< fords> strike 2!
< NotoriousOIT> you only need to make THAT mistake once
< VxD> grease burned nipples
< NotoriousOIT> that's exactly what happened
< NotoriousOIT> and it HURT
< VxD> you might say...crispy nipples
< NotoriousOIT> ow.
< VxD> KFC Crispy Nipples! bet you can't eat just one!
< fords> NotoriousOIT: i don't spend much time thinking about your
nipples, but you've just brought to the front of my mind that particular image.
< VxD> I could see them selling in a two-pack
< fords> ...with strips of bacon tastefully draped across them.
< VxD> ( . ) ( . )
< VxD> Baconini is the latest swimwear rage!
< NotoriousOIT> hahaha
< fords> goddamnit! this flexible ice shit thaws in an hour, and takes
two hours to freeze
< NotoriousOIT> that particular comment needs pics
< VxD> you could go canadian bacon for the boobs
< fords> no, regular bacon.
< fords> hands down.
< VxD> then a strip bacon g-string
< VxD> talk about edible underwear!
#262 + (3) - [X]
<@hemp> big iron
<@Weebs> my iron is big
<@VxD> you are a nine iron in a three wood world...

#98 + (-5) - [X]
20:27 <shiruken> bacon makes everything taste better
20:27 <shiruken> especially bacon
20:27 <vertex--> 6 degrees of bacon
20:41 <VxD> 7 degrees of bacon seperation
20:45 <shiruken> hot bacon injection
20:46 <VxD> I love the feeling of hot bacon under my skin!

#382 + (12) - [X]
<@Weebs> I have a trailer you can use
<@Weebs> and your girlfriend has a truck
<@Weebs> you're set
<@dgibbons> my gf doesn't have a truck
<@hemp> what Weebs meant was, he will use your girlfriend while your gone
<@VxD> well, Weebs has a truck, sounds like a fair rental trade
#263 + (-4) - [X]
virtualdev: I'm about ready to call it quits for the day
virtualdev: I feel like poo and have been working since 6am
bykguy: me too
bykguy: yuck
bykguy: i taste like poo, i think i have you beat
virtualdevi: I'm feeling the poo that tastes like you!
bykguy: SWEET
virtualdev: poo fondling
bykguy: mmmm, so warm and squishy

#72 + (-3) - [X]
-!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has joined #pdxlug
17:10 < ferris> so...is this the real pdxlug?
17:10 < grishnav> No, this is the fake one
17:11 < ferris> thought so
17:11 < ferris> so, you are all in PDX area?
17:11 < grishnav> get back in orloug, we're all over there :P
17:12 < grishnav> orlug even
17:12 < grishnav> this channel is just for idling and stuff
17:12 < grishnav> :)
17:12 < ferris> lol
17:12 < ferris> ok
17:16 -!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has left #pdxlug
["Leaving"]

#173 + (-22) - [X]
< forkmaster> I can't host my 4U with you for $32/mo
< cwells> true
< cwells> maybe 32 and a handjob
< forkmaster> ooo, tempting
< forkmaster> I'll bring my 10 year old for the second part
< cwells> god
< cwells> you are a sick bastard
< cwells> is she hot?

#230 + (-11) - [X]
<karrlii> i want to tell you guys a dream i've been having
<karrlii> so you can tell me what's wrong with me
<karrlii> i keep dreaming that my mother is trying on different sized penises on her head, like they're detachable
<karrlii> the other night the penis also came with a pulsating asshole
<karrlii> it was distrubring
<geekinpink> NO KIDDING
<karrlii> disturbing
.....
<geekinpink> do you have a good relationship with your mother?
.....
<karrlii> geekinpink yeah better now than what it used to be
<VxD> are you worried that you never got to try out all the penises you wanted and now you are stuck with only one?
<karrlii> VxD well i'm not stuck
<geekinpink> Sounds like you're calling her a penis-head
<karrlii> i can keep trying them out
.....
<geekinpink> karrlii: you can keep trying them out?
#245 + (-10) - [X]
< Baloo> Yay, the intermittant packet loss stopped again.
< rlangis> oh.
* rlangis puts his DDOS cron script back in action.

#282 + (-4) - [X]
<hemp> http://www.airtoons.com/toons.php?toon=9
<hemp> I can't tell if that's safe for work or not.... ?
<shiruken> no
<shiruken> you're going to get me in trouble hemp!
<shiruken> a giant penis on a cartoon character is not safe for work
#158 + (9) - [X]
[12:56] <Weebs> I'm trying to think of something to eat for lunch
[12:56] <Weebs> any ideas?
[12:56] <VxD> penis
[12:56] <VxD> sliced and fried in butter
[12:56] <Weebs> no thanks, I only have one here and I'm saving it for a special
occasion

#330 + (4) - [X]
< fords> Nihilist: you seen that one with the squid?
< Nihilist> I'm not sure
< fords> maybe it was an octopus
< Nihilist> fords: was that the same one with the chicken?
< fords> Nihilist: only if what i saw was part of a longer version
< cwells> so was the chicken fucking the octopus or vice versa?
< cwells> i've always wanted to ask that question
< Nihilist> someone who looked like cwells was fucking the chicken, but the eel was in the girl
< fords> cwells, you chickenfucker.
< cwells> i don't think i'd want to fuck a girl with an eel in her. maybe that's why i fucked the chicken...
< cwells> i dunno, it was all a blur
< fords> well, was the chicken happy, at least?
#247 + (-20) - [X]
<Baloo> So how's everybody doing tonight?
*rlangis wrings his hands and cackles maniacally
<rlangis> *cough* Oh, fine.
<lispy> i'm okay
<lispy> had a few beers
<lispy> fantasized about the barmaid
<lispy> realized my gf was there
<lispy> decided it was best to come home :)
<rlangis> yeah, masturbation in public places is frowned upon
<lispy> and why is that?
*lispy mubles about the uptight bastards
<Baloo> lispy enjoys public masturbation?
*cwells has joined #orlug(n=cliff@c-24-20-13-118.hsd1.or.comcast.net)
<cwells> men's velour gstring
<Baloo> That was strangely appropriate.

#208 + (26) - [X]
< cwells> shiruken: have another coffee
< shiruken> ?
< shiruken> I'm just not subtle
< shiruken> ever
< cwells> i'm just basing my observation on sheer line count
< shiruken> ah
< lispyoncrack> does this conversation make my logfile look fat?

#394 + (-6) - [X]
< Zolotkey> Hmm interesting a recruiter called about a sysadmin job because she found my resume on dice :o
< Zolotkey> Direct to Hire :o
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: You must have tiny hands.
< Zolotkey> why do you say that?
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: If you had average-sized hands, how would you ever write your resume on something as small as dice?
< cjdaniel> hahaha

#231 + (-7) - [X]
< malfunct> another thing to try is putting DSL on the hard drive and see
if that speeds it up enough to be as usable as win98
< cwells> usable as win98...
< Nihilist> You could set it on fire, that should make it as usable as
win98

#115 + (-17) - [X]
< karrlii> i don't even have to work
< karrlii> and yet i'm here putting up with his crap
< shiruken> I can put you to work
< karrlii> shiruken heh
< karrlii> oh yeah?
< karrlii> please do
< shiruken> yup
< shiruken> ok, first I would greet you at the door
< shiruken> I would be wearing a classy suit
< shiruken> that exudes power and confidence
< shiruken> your heart flutters
< karrlii> is there a dragon involved?
< karrlii> i want you to have a pet dragon
< shiruken> I lean close and say, "I need you to replace tape cl6799 with
cl6805 for a restore"
< karrlii> :/
< karrlii> tease
#210 + (18) - [X]
<cellarstella> I'm trying to think of someway that a blowjob is like knitting, but I really can't think of anything
<Miichael> lol
<cellarstella> guess you're SOL, cwells
<thumper^> Requires skill and a gentle touch?
<cellarstella> not really
<thumper^> Well I guess you're not sucking me off then.
#371 + (13) - [X]
<@Weebs> for the past 2-3 years I've been getting emails from a golfball company
<@Weebs> today's topic was "Personalizing your balls: How to make them yours, how to make them know their yours in a group"
<@Weebs> I greatly enjoyed the laugh I got out of it
#396 + (-6) - [X]
< marx> it's the 'sales and marketing kick off week' here at work
< marx> "S&M kickoff week"
< thumper^> You hiring? Do I need my own gear?
< thumper^> I have a crop and some karate belts.
< marx> hah, there are actually quite a few openings
< cjdaniel> that's what she said
#143 + (20) - [X]
< kraptv> mastiff logs in as root for daily activities.
< VxD> I login as pigfucker for daily activities
< mastiff> I login as root, but I set the UID of root to 666 and make an
account called satan that has UID 0
< mastiff> so when you do an ls -lR on my system it looks like all my
files are posessed by the devil

#33 + (-15) - [X]
* VxD is going to Chucky Cheese tonight, WOOHOO
<rikell42> :0
<rikell42> are you 12?
<VxD> oh come on now Chucky Cheese kicks ass
* rikell42/#orlug shrugs
<VxD> I can't live with myself if I can't play Skee Ball
<tacodog> Chuck E. Cheese kicked my ass and took my lunch money
<rikell42> I can't think of meeting people at a place like that
<VxD> never seen a rat kick a dogs ass, must have been a big old rat
<VxD> rikell42: oh yeah, it's the rage anymore
<tacodog> all that pizza he's been eatin'
<VxD> I like picking up on 10 year olds
<rikell42> :|
<rikell42> :P
<VxD> It's my daughter's birthday party nuttaz
<rikell42> aww
<rikell42> that makes sense
<rikell42> :)
<rikell42> well happy birth day
<VxD> but I use that as an excuse for picking up on 10 year olds
<tacodog> who doesn't?
<tacodog> who doesn't indeed
* VxD *grin*
#318 + (-9) - [X]
VxD: two of my kids were conceved on reliable contraception
VxD: my wife is like a corn field
VxD: 00.01%
VxD: I should gamble
Weebs: maybe it was the other guy she was banging
#194 + (-1) - [X]
< [i]con> I asked a customer to get by his main CPU and reseat the
network cable, and he said to me "Wow Tyler, I didn't know
you'd have me getting on my knees so early in the morning."
< [i]con> Needless to say, I had to quickly put him on mute to hide the
laugh.

#102 + (-2) - [X]
14:55 <lispy> VxD: i'm having a down week also, and so is sarah, so i
think we should declare this week of Feburary to be National Down
Week, or NDW.
14:55 <VxD> or national uppers week...
14:55 <lispy> VxD: uppers could be the mascot
14:56 <lispy> bunnies are taken, old bearded men are taken...fairies are
taken...Hm...How about the Uppers Ferret brings you presents
14:56 <VxD> "This week sponsored by the happy little blue pill"
14:57 <lispy> "Small, blue, happy."
14:57 <lispy> oh, and different
14:57 <shiruken> bounce me like a red rubber ball, daddy!
14:57 <VxD> we'll call it "Smurf Week"
14:57 <lispy> "Have you been smurfed this week?"
14:57 <shiruken> hell, I smurf myself 4 times a day
14:58 <VxD> sounds like rimming
14:58 <lispy> "Thanks, little blue pill, I'm having a smurf'n good week!"
14:58 <VxD> you're in there up to your nose, you try to say anything and
it comes out, "smurf"

#34 + (-10) - [X]
<Nihilist> omg i just found out why the guy at the pet store has been giving
me deals on mice for my snake...
<VxD> he wants to pet your "snake"?
<Nihilist> yes :(
<VxD> well you are a sexy mofo...
<VxD> to guys
<Nihilist> i know!: ( what am i doing wrong
<shiruken> sounds like you are doing everything right
<VxD> haha
#367 + (2) - [X]
DanKreek: So how did you manage to pick up an auxiliary boyfriend?
NotoriousOIT: quite by accident, i assure you
NotoriousOIT: i left the manhole cover off my vagina and he fell in
#348 + (2) - [X]
< Daehlie> the corporate world is like a knife fight, you muscle out some
turf without gettings hurt too bad, and then you protect it with your life
#376 + (-7) - [X]
* hemp just said to my microwave burritos: "Dude, totally uncool to blow your wad before I get a chance to eat you"
#251 + (-3) - [X]
<Weebs[zof]> haven't seen that in a while
<Weebs[zof]> wait no, I think my internet cut out for a sec
*** Weebs quit (Read error: 110 (Connection timed out))
#171 + (25) - [X]
< cactus> vaginas dont like irc
< geekinpink> mine doesn't seem to mind
< cactus> well, you are sitting on it..what is it going to say?
< cactus> >_<
< geekinpink> murphle...weralkdfj...

#61 + (-33) - [X]
< karrlii> i'm buying this couch this weekend
< karrlii> http://www.dwr.com/productdetail.cfm?id=5226
< karrlii> just so everyone knows
< VxD> man you are always buying something
< VxD> I bought something last night...at dollar tree
< karrlii> it's sexy!
< pr0kfried> that just looks uncomfortable
< karrlii> haha it does not!
< karrlii> it gives lots of snuggle room
< VxD> that's a lot of money for a twin bed with a roll pillow
< pr0kfried> translation: we can do it on the couch A LOT
< Nihilist> agreed
< VxD> when modern goes too far...
< Nihilist> I've got this.. artisitc.. old fridge that brok... is art..
i'll sell you for $1500... it even comes with smells!

#322 + (0) - [X]
< lokkju_wrk_> these Mormons (a nice young couple - boy and girl, around
19) always came around in the late morning, once per week,
to all the houses. Well, my friend works nights, and had
just gotten up, and was about to get in the shower...
well hung over and not thinking very well - he heard a
knock and went to answer the door... This nice couple
looked at him, the girl yelled pervert, and they never did
come back... you see, he was only wearing a sock -
< lokkju_wrk_> and it was on his foot

#165 + (5) - [X]
<@Weebs> I pee a little bit everynight on my roommates bed
<@VxD> because you miss his mouth?

#310 + (0) - [X]
cruiseoveride: have y'all watched that new bond movie
* hemp has not
cruiseoveride: dont bother
hemp: it's pretty much required viewing here
cruiseoveride: was an insult to Ian Fleming's work
hemp: All Bond movies must be watched - regardless
cruiseoveride: I was disgusted by it
hemp: are you sure you weren't .... shaken?
hemp: or were you ... stirred?
#38 + (-7) - [X]
<matchboy> win32 is the future
-:- matchboy was kicked off #pdxlug by VxD ("if you don't have something nice
to say...keep it to yourself :)")
#278 + (2) - [X]
< Sportbikerohni> I went up to my parent's house to store my trailer. I
locked myself out of my car
<@VxD> *grin*
<@VxD> and yet, you are able to use the internet...

#235 + (-32) - [X]
< lon> last person's head I held was very drunk, and naked in the shower
at my friend's party.
< lon> but I didn't love her. I just felt bad for her.
<@Weebs> pics?
<@Weebs> ok that was in bad taste
<@Weebs> so umm pics ?

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