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#3 + (-15) - [X]
< karrlii> today is going to be a long day
< Nihilist> yes, yes it is
< VxD> damn right
< shiruken> about 12" long for me
< karrlii> haha
< VxD> shiruken: take the ruler out of your anus dude
#4 + (4) - [X]
23:27 <largos> hm... I'm a bit curious where those messages are.
23:27 <lispy> they will come through
23:28 <lispy> i did a cvs something or another the other day and it took
like 20-30 for it to show up in my inbox
23:28 <largos> yeah, like a herd of turtles stampeeding through
23:28 <lispy> ah, they're so cute!
23:28 <lispy> GiR: look!
23:28 <GiR> lispy: sorry...you suck
23:28 <lispy> {}: dances with turtles
23:28 <{}> lispy: I want something that turns mere turtles into four
foot tall ninjas or something.
#5 + (-2) - [X]
< karrlii> have you ever had extreme chemistry with someone?
< karrlii> like when you're close to them it's some kind of chemical lust
and it's automatic
< karrlii> and you just just want to rip their clothes off and fuck them
< lispy> ah, yeah
< karrlii> but when you're away ... you don't feel anything?
< karrlii> i guess guys are like that more
< karrlii> than girls
< lispy> totally
< karrlii> maybe i'm turning into a guy
< lispy> at first i thought you meant "extreme chemistry" as in the
< lispy> i was getting worried
< karrlii> haha
< lispy> it's normal to get that extreme chemistry thing 7-8 times a day
< lispy> ;)
< karrlii> haah totally
* VxD gives lispy an A+ in extreme chemistry
#7 + (6) - [X]
< karrlii> i have bad hair
< karrlii> i need to get it cut
< lispy> too bad penises don't work like that
< lispy> "My penis is too short, I better let it grow out"
< karrlii> haha
< karrlii> i don't like big penises they hurt
< lispy> as ken always says, "Is 11" big? I don't really know...I
haven't seen very many penises"
#8 + (-13) - [X]
<VxD> damn Blackbox is hung
<rlangis> put away the ruler, VxD
#10 + (-17) - [X]
12:40 < Nihilist> "Gertrude Walton, a deceased eighty-three-year-old woman, was named as the only defendant in a federal lawsuit filed by a group of record
companies. They claimed Walton made more than 700 pop, rock and rap songs available for free on the Internet under the screen name 'smittenedkitten.' Needless to say, the suit has since been dropped."
12:42 < shiruken> hrm, those dead pirates
12:42 < shiruken> it's like the Black Pearl!
12:43 < fords> haha
12:46 < Nihilist> lol
12:47 < Nihilist> Will gertrude Walton come to the stand? *a rotting corpse rises and hobbles up to the chair*
12:48 < shiruken> Gertrude, is it true that you shared 700 songs, amongst them, 2 live crew's "Me So Horny" and "Bitches and Pimps" ?
13:10 < Nihilist> her jaw falls off.
13:21 < lispy> nice
13:26 < fords> she's dead, she's not a leper.
13:27 < fords> it'd be more like "a rat crawls out of her mouth"
#11 + (3) - [X]
<baloo>lispy: I have this horrible addiction to food. I try to quit, but I just get wracked with pain after a day or two every time and just have to have a cheeseburger.
<baloo>They only told me the positive effects of food. Nobody ever told me food would be hard to quit.
<malfunct`>their highly addictive products which are advertised as safe got me hooked and ruined my teeth and put me at high risk for heart disease and diabetes
<malfunct`>and from what I hear, mcdonalds is ruining my liver
<baloo>Not to mention high cholestorol
<lispy>baloo: i find myself horribly addicted to O_2...i can't go five minutes without it...i get shakey and light headed...i'll fight someone that won't let me get my O_2 fix
<malfunct`>ok bal, I don't buy that pepsi gave me high colesterol
<baloo>lispy: I know what you mean. I get the same way about water after a couple hours on a hot day.
<malfunct`>lispy: yeah, the 02 addiction is nearly as bad as my dihydrogen monoxide addiction
<malfunct`>and you know how many bad things dihydrogen monoxide can do
<baloo>malfunct`: Yeah. I mean, holy hell, you mix dhydrogen monoxide and dioxygen long enough undisturbed on the hood of your car and it'll eat right through it. Might take a few years, but it'll do it.
<malfunct`>baloo: yeah, and how many natural disasters can be traced back to the dihydrogen monoxide as a source
<lispy>baloo: it only takes a couple ounces of that stuff to kill a baby in a matter of minutes if you leave their face in it
<baloo>malfunct`: No kidding. You breathe even a little of that and it'll hurt like hell for days.
#12 + (-35) - [X]
<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
#13 + (-3) - [X]
<floppyfw> the awesome Mandrake 8.1 system that can run apt-get
<VxD> god, that is sick floppyfw
<floppyfw> ya I know
<floppyfw> I'm apt to try it someday
? VxD slaps floppyfw with a copy of debian
#14 + (32) - [X]
<rlangis> Not to be unpatriotic (or gay), but I'd much rather give a blowjob than go to war.
#15 + (-461) - [X]
<rlangis> I don't mind other people having sex in my bed, as long as I can join them.
#16 + (-11) - [X]
<charlieS> short em. its only 12 volts - don't be a pussy
#17 + (21) - [X]
<wilee_work> next time I go the a lug , I need to see the flesh copy of the people I talk to
#18 + (-3) - [X]
<floppyfw> Doing moderately complicated string stuff with assembler is dumb, but doing G-string disassembly is more fun
#19 + (18) - [X]
<floppyfw> my stepmother #5 asks me "how can you put up a web page? I thought AOL owned the internet?"
#20 + (8) - [X]
<VxD> would you could you with a whore, would you could you against the door?
<VxD> you know, dirty Dr. Seuss just seems to come naturally
<rlangis> I would do it with a whore, I would bang her up against the door
<rlangis> I would bang her all night long, I would bang her in a throng
#21 + (4) - [X]
< VxD> yeah, goddamn mysql
< VxD> it makes Access look good
#22 + (3) - [X]
<VxD> you totally need that
<VxD> I really want to see it shift w/o a clutch :)
<pr0kfried> ok can i have $1200
<VxD> heh, I don't have any money
<VxD> but I hear that you can steal Nihilist's car
<pr0kfried> oh k
<VxD> since he refuses to register cars in his own name when he buys them
<pr0kfried> nice
<Nihilist> ...
* GiR listens to the crickets chirping
<Nihilist> hey you said if i didn't tell anyone that you masterbate in your
wifes panties while watching your dogs do each other you wouldn't
tell anyone ab out the registration thing
<VxD> ...I only have one dog :)
<Nihilist> then what what it doing? you sick fucker!
<GiR> Must obey the taco man!
<pr0kfried> what what
<Nihilist> what/was
<pr0kfried> what was it
<pr0kfried> i'll take bad comebacks for $400 alex
#23 + (-13) - [X]
<wilco> I like Latin
<karrlii> me too.
<karrlii> you know what i also like?
<karrlii> legendary pink dots
<karrlii> they just came on my ipod
<karrlii> they were in portland recently. i went and saw them. it was awesome.
<karrlii> i feel very clipped today.
<nihilist> i like latin too..
<nihilist> ./porn/Redhead with latino guy.mpg
<nihilist> ./porn/Young.Tight.Latinas.5.by.Salseros.CD1.XviD.ShareConnector.avi
<nihilist> see!
#24 + (-14) - [X]
<VxD> woo, let's all have a furpile!
<wilco> furpile?
<VxD> YOU don't know about FURPILES??!!?
<VxD> it's where people dress up in big animal suits and all get in a
rubbing/humping pile together
<shiruken> I feel sad that I just learned that
#25 + (20) - [X]
*** pr0kfried (~mking@kraken.magnetinternet.com) has quit: Remote closed the
*** Nihilist (~nihilist@kraken.magnetinternet.com) has quit: Read error: 104
(Connection reset by peer)
<VxD> one host, two souls, all dead
#26 + (-9) - [X]
I started to worry that my head was getting too big, my ego was getting out of control. Then i realized i was better than that!
#27 + (-8) - [X]
<shiruken> I love developers
<GiR> Hmm.. the scary monkey
<shiruken> "Are we running the wrong version of program x?"
<shiruken> Me: "Uh, how would I know that?"
<shiruken> "Oh, um, hrm, because I gave you the rpm?"
<shiruken> ...
#28 + (-20) - [X]
<VxD> I was just reaching for the bottle of warmed lotion that I keep on top
of my monitor when...I realized I was at work...
#30 + (10) - [X]
<Weebs> I can't remembermy router pw
<VxD> let me see if I can hack it
-:- SignOff Weebs: #sportbikesnw (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
#31 + (-24) - [X]
<Greensky> Cola (12 oz.) = 35 so a coffee from SB is like 15 sodas.. lol
<Greensky> unless you say Pop in Oregon
<pr0kfried> nice
<pr0kfried> but less calories
<Greensky> Fred Meyers had a "Soda Pop" aisle..
<Greensky> yeah a lot less calories
<pr0kfried> it all depends on where you're from
<Greensky> I always called it pop if it's from a can, and soda from a
fountain, but whatever
<pr0kfried> interesting
<VxD> I only call it pop when it makes that sound coming out of my ass
<Greensky> naw, that's called a fart
<VxD> not when it's the whole can :-D
<pr0kfried> *POP*
#32 + (-10) - [X]
<shiruken> sweet! I just got a gig as an espn columnist
<shiruken> here's my rss feed
<shiruken> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=brush_ken
<VxD> uh
<VxD> o'tay
<charlieS> <ding>
<VxD> fries are done!
<shiruken> btw, I'm not really an espn columnist
<shiruken> yeah, shocking
<lispy> shiruken: you hacked their system?
<shiruken> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=winky_tinky
<shiruken> but tinky winky is
<shiruken> lispy: no, they just don't do any input validation
<VxD> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=semore_dicks
<lispy> shiruken: you could go to jail for a long time if someone finds out
<VxD> for incorrectly entering a URL?
<VxD> OMG!!! 404!!! I'm getting arrested!
#33 + (-17) - [X]
* VxD is going to Chucky Cheese tonight, WOOHOO
<rikell42> :0
<rikell42> are you 12?
<VxD> oh come on now Chucky Cheese kicks ass
* rikell42/#orlug shrugs
<VxD> I can't live with myself if I can't play Skee Ball
<tacodog> Chuck E. Cheese kicked my ass and took my lunch money
<rikell42> I can't think of meeting people at a place like that
<VxD> never seen a rat kick a dogs ass, must have been a big old rat
<VxD> rikell42: oh yeah, it's the rage anymore
<tacodog> all that pizza he's been eatin'
<VxD> I like picking up on 10 year olds
<rikell42> :|
<rikell42> :P
<VxD> It's my daughter's birthday party nuttaz
<rikell42> aww
<rikell42> that makes sense
<rikell42> :)
<rikell42> well happy birth day
<VxD> but I use that as an excuse for picking up on 10 year olds
<tacodog> who doesn't?
<tacodog> who doesn't indeed
* VxD *grin*
#34 + (-14) - [X]
<Nihilist> omg i just found out why the guy at the pet store has been giving
me deals on mice for my snake...
<VxD> he wants to pet your "snake"?
<Nihilist> yes :(
<VxD> well you are a sexy mofo...
<VxD> to guys
<Nihilist> i know!: ( what am i doing wrong
<shiruken> sounds like you are doing everything right
<VxD> haha
#35 + (-3) - [X]
<charlieS> hrm. /kick doesn't work
-:- charlieS was kicked off #pdxlug by shiruken (testing)
<shiruken> hrm, seems it does
<linuxninja> lol
#36 + (-4) - [X]
<shiruken> hrm, I got a fun size butterfinger
<shiruken> who ever had fun with 2" ?
<linuxninja> i don't get that
<linuxninja> you'd think the huge ones would be the fun size
#37 + (-14) - [X]
<VxD> better yet, how about an online car sales site with pics of the car that
have people fucking on them
<linuxninja> YES!
<VxD> "Here is the interior, notice the high end CD/mp3 player next to Buffy's
<VxD> "you will also notice it is a stickshift, even if the shifter is
currently burried inside of Tina"
* linuxninja/#pdxlug almost loses his coffee
<VxD> "Around the rear of the car you can see Candy making full use of the
retractable power antenna"
<linuxninja> lol
<VxD> "And just below her you can see Mindy being assreamed by Bruno over the
<linuxninja> assreamed
<linuxninja> mmm...assreame
#38 + (-5) - [X]
<matchboy> win32 is the future
-:- matchboy was kicked off #pdxlug by VxD ("if you don't have something nice
to say...keep it to yourself :)")
#39 + (2) - [X]
<shiruken> so, I talked with a kernel developer this morning
<shiruken> relating the Randal story
<shiruken> and he goes, "oh, tell me when your next meeting is
<shiruken> he wants to come
<VxD> shiruken: that's hot!
<VxD> the next meeting date is on...my wife's birthday
<VxD> frickin' luck
<linuxninja> shiruken: awesome
<charlieS> what's more important? Linux, or wife?
<VxD> well linux of course, but don't tell my wife that :)
<VxD> she calls my computer my mistress
<charlieS> once linux can suck you off..
<charlieS> lol
<VxD> and I have 4 mistresses at home :)
<VxD> I have a computer harem!
<charlieS> schwweeeeet
#40 + (-15) - [X]
<VxD> linuxninja: so did nihilist convince you to work on his pr0n site?
<linuxninja> it remains to be seen VxD
<VxD> 8ball will linuxninja work on the pr0n site?
* GiR shakes the psychic purple sphere...
<GiR> It says 'In your dreams,' VxD
<VxD> hahaha
<shiruken> lol
#41 + (18) - [X]
* VxD writes an exception handler for nuts ()
#42 + (-21) - [X]
<largos> this is great ;)
-:- SignOff largos: #orlug (Excess Flood)
<VxD> that IS great!
#43 + (-6) - [X]
<karrlii> i am having such girl drama
<karrlii> this is what i get for refusing to believe that girls can get along
with other girls
<karrlii> :(
<VxD> I get along with girls fine
<karrlii> yeah because you have a penis and they want to do you
#44 + (7) - [X]
<VxD> hehe, emails are so much fun when people leave out words
<VxD> an example of one I got during the night, where the word "restore" was
left out: "Hello DBAs,
<VxD> Can you please the database in production."
<thumper^> heh
<thumper^> pet it nicely, and say nice things in it's ear.
#45 + (-19) - [X]
<lispy> i had a dream that i had to keep going to costco because they
couldn't fit my glasses to my face correctly
<lispy> then i woke up and my glasses fit funny....
<VxD> stop laying on them
<lispy> i'm not laying on them, i'm just "getting to know the frames"...
<lispy> geez, it's differet
<shiruken> ewww
<shiruken> I like it when I get to know a girl's glasses
<shiruken> while on her face
* shiruken won't get more explicit
<VxD> hard to see her glasses with her head down there so low...
<shiruken> yeah, my belly is in the way
<shiruken> that's why I take video
#46 + (-3) - [X]
<matchboy> makeup sex means something different
<VxD> it means you have been fscking too many clowns
#48 + (-16) - [X]
<karrlii> the food was good, but it made me feel really ill
<karrlii> like car ride sick
<lispy> perhaps you ate too much...
<VxD> indeed
<VxD> I refuse to throw up after I go out to eat, even if I feel
deathly sick, I don't want to waste the money :)

#50 + (-10) - [X]
< nate> the good thing about a mac mini is that it's really easy to throw
#51 + (-19) - [X]
bykguy: man, it's so dry out here that the inside of my lips are cracking, i'm blowing blood out of my nose, and my skin is turning in to sand paper
virtualdev: rad
bykguy: and the water here is SO hard
virtualdev: ....
bykguy: you can see the mineral build up on all the faucets
virtualdev: so when you step into the shower you get an instant erection?
bykguy: well duh
#52 + (-9) - [X]
23:49 < pigwanker> let's see if my little firmware upgrade a while back fixed my peer reset issue
23:51 -!- pigwanker [~BMAZHA@wbar1.sea1-4-5-023-152.sea1.dsl-verizon.net] has quit [Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer)]

#53 + (-3) - [X]
< nate> i have a new pic for me on the orlug website i think.
< nate> it's cool if there is boobs in it right ?
< fords> only if they're your boobs
< fords> amateur pr0n is like, the best.
< charlieS> ...
< VxD> manboobs

#54 + (-5) - [X]
< fords> i thought april was black history month
< fords> do i do anything? hell yeah. i run out and buy me some slaves.
< baloo> February is. May is Microwave Popcorn Month.
< fords> oh.
< fords> all these years, i been buying slaves in the wrong month. hahaha
< VxD> the state will tax you extra for that

#55 + (-22) - [X]
<Nihilist> we could add a column for news poster and have it in the layout instead of you typing --vxd each time
<VxD> doesn't really matter, but if you want to add it go ahead
<VxD> I don't really have to say --VxD either, who cares
<Nihilist> *shrug*
<VxD> yeah, that's minor
<Nihilist> i like minors
#57 + (-2) - [X]
< jacobyte> Hi Ya'll first time chat newbie, like ever, still stumbling
< VxD> fair enough, let us know if we can help out
< dooder> you new chatting slice of shit
< VxD> dooder: nice
< dooder> VxD : thought you'd like that

#58 + (-14) - [X]
< karrlii> i love condoms
< shiruken> if I play my cards right, I might use the whole box up before
< karrlii> i like using condoms even when i dont have to
< karrlii> i dont know why. they're just neat
< karrlii> i like japanese condoms that have cute things on them
< shiruken> even when you don't have to?
< VxD> hello kitty condoms
< shiruken> when is that?
< shiruken> like, oh honey, couldn't find a ziplock bag for your
sandwhich, I used a condom instead

#59 + (-12) - [X]
< wilko> It was sent to me by my wife
< wilko> My wife sends me gay porn at work!
< thumper^> She wants to be sure you're not in the mood when you get home.
< VxD> perhaps she's trying to help you get in touch with your inner self
< shiruken> thumper^: s/not//
< thumper^> he might be in the mood, but not for her. :)
#60 + (-7) - [X]
< pacopablo> anyone messed around with IPSEc and racoon?
< VxD> pacopablo: sorry, we were talking about sodemy, try again later
< pacopablo> VxD: ok, I'll rephrase the question: anyone messed around
with IPSex with racoons?
< VxD> pacopablo: I love when you talk dirty
< shiruken> pacopablo: dude, who hasn't?
< pacopablo> shiruken: guess I'm just not getting the hang of it :)
< shiruken> pacopablo: grease the raccoons up first
< shiruken> less packet loss
< pacopablo> I'll remember that :)
< Nihilist> less pecker loss?
< shiruken> also, don't drop your raccoon in the shower

#61 + (-39) - [X]
< karrlii> i'm buying this couch this weekend
< karrlii> http://www.dwr.com/productdetail.cfm?id=5226
< karrlii> just so everyone knows
< VxD> man you are always buying something
< VxD> I bought something last night...at dollar tree
< karrlii> it's sexy!
< pr0kfried> that just looks uncomfortable
< karrlii> haha it does not!
< karrlii> it gives lots of snuggle room
< VxD> that's a lot of money for a twin bed with a roll pillow
< pr0kfried> translation: we can do it on the couch A LOT
< Nihilist> agreed
< VxD> when modern goes too far...
< Nihilist> I've got this.. artisitc.. old fridge that brok... is art..
i'll sell you for $1500... it even comes with smells!

#62 + (-3) - [X]
< lispy> charlieS: well i don't have solutions memorized to arbitrary
problems, i don't consider that knowing the material. I have
things like definitions and proofs memorized, and then try to
solve new problems based on that. It just takes me a while, but
really I can't hold enough in my head to memorize arbitrary
< charlieS> lispy, right, you don't memorize problems.. heh
< charlieS> it sounds like you haven't practiced the proofs enough,
that's all :)
< VxD> charlieS: you can cut them off of the back of the boxes of cereal
and then send them off for toys! I know proofs just fine!

#63 + (-5) - [X]
< rlangis> god I hate working friday and saturday nights
< rlangis> not that I'm a social butterfly, but it completely kills any
*chance* of going out
< wilco> And getting laid
< rlangis> well I'm married, so no chance of that

#64 + (-28) - [X]
< rlangis> damn, I'm bored. even rejoined #seattle on efnet but no cure
for my boredom there either
< lispy> rlangis: i think that's what hookers are for
< rlangis> lispy: I'll have to look into getting me one of those
* lispy puts on his fish net stalking
< lispy> oh really?
< rlangis> not a fake one
< lispy> what makes you think i'm a fake?

#65 + (-7) - [X]
< Nihilist> grishnav: how's work going?
< grishnav> Nihilist: well, did you ever see that one anime where the guy
is raping the chick in her ass and his dick comes out her
< Nihilist> ...
* GiR listens to the crickets chirping
< Nihilist> no don't think i saw that one
< Nihilist> happy ending?
< grishnav> well, for him

#66 + (-4) - [X]
< VxD> welcome cygnus
* cygnus waves
< VxD> how would you like to be spanked today?
< cygnus> moderately, with birch or oak
< VxD> sorry, I only have alder
< VxD> it's pretty similar to birch though
< cygnus> that's fine
< VxD> one of the harder softwoods
< VxD> or softer hardwoods :)
< cygnus> lol
< VxD> hey, that wasn't a joke
* VxD really does spank cygnus now
< VxD> alder gets nice dark veins in it if left dead before milling for a
set amount of time
< cygnus> hahahaha
< GiR> hahahaha are you serious?
< VxD> the veins of dark wood usually occur just before rotting
< VxD> I don't get why you are making fun of my little forestry lesson
for you here
< VxD> it's not every day you get to learn about a harder softwood with
dark veins that tends to grow in moist creekbeds!
< Nihilist> ...wow
< VxD> because of the moist environment, many of them tend to rot off at
the roots though
< _vertex_> nice
< VxD> but you can always cut them up and use them as firewood
< _vertex_> I need wood
< VxD> call my dad, he'll give you the wood
< _vertex_> he did! last year. I just used the last of it up.
< VxD> he's got more where that came from

#67 + (-18) - [X]
< Nihilist> *ponders* where can i get fresh basil?
< Maxzorin123> Whole Food Markets
< Maxzorin123> in the Pearl has great produce
< Nihilist> .. maybe at natures then, thats alot closer.
< Maxzorin123> natures is good
< cygnus> yeah, whole foods is a good place for that stuff
< GiR> Oo.. do that again!
< Maxzorin123> you up in NE?
< Nihilist> I work in Gresham.
< Nihilist> Zupan would be close to home as well hrm
< _vertex_> check your neighbor's back yard for fresh basil
< cygnus> fred meyer sometimes has fresh herbs too
< Nihilist> Wonder where i can get lamb..
< _vertex_> from a sheep
< VxD> *grin*
< cygnus> have you ever been to the store? :)
< Nihilist> WondYes, everything i buy though comes in a premade box..
< Nihilist> I bought potatos once and tried to microwave cook them,
turned out less then desirable..

#70 + (-36) - [X]
< hanna> well im off to an appt then vd dinner... later all.
< hanna> thanks have a nice VD too.
< VxD> VD...heh heh

#71 + (2) - [X]
< ferris> most people here are from where Portland, Eugene and Corvalis?
< grishnav> yes, and most people here also use black backgrounds, making
your blue text fucking impossible to see
< shiruken> and Beaverton
< ferris> lol how could i forget
< grishnav> is there lots of beaver in beaverton?
< grishnav> ferris: some people do it by not remembering
< grishnav> others are just ignorant

#72 + (-4) - [X]
-!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has joined #pdxlug
17:10 < ferris> so...is this the real pdxlug?
17:10 < grishnav> No, this is the fake one
17:11 < ferris> thought so
17:11 < ferris> so, you are all in PDX area?
17:11 < grishnav> get back in orloug, we're all over there :P
17:12 < grishnav> orlug even
17:12 < grishnav> this channel is just for idling and stuff
17:12 < grishnav> :)
17:12 < ferris> lol
17:12 < ferris> ok
17:16 -!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has left #pdxlug

#77 + (5) - [X]
< Weebs[zof]> I think it would be weird to mount a pregnant woman who is
married, that I've dated her sister

#78 + (-10) - [X]
<@Weebs> my filing girl is so fat lol
<@Weebs> prego fat that is
<@Weebs> she's getting closer and closer to popping
<@VxD> nice
<@Weebs> Her pregnancy is teaching me a lot
<@Weebs> after everyone of her classes she explains to me what she learns
<@VxD> Don't knock up a pretty girl?

#79 + (-11) - [X]
< Weebs[zof]> VxD did you stay in the room when your wife gave birth?
<@VxD> yep
<@VxD> I caught the kids
< Weebs[zof]> my filing girl won't allow her hubby to do that
<@VxD> wtf?
<@VxD> it's not like he hasn't been down there before
<@VxD> if she may recall, that's how this all started
< Weebs[zof]> haha yeah
< Weebs[zof]> but it's slightly different during birth
< Weebs[zof]> I had to watch the damn video in health class
< Weebs[zof]> I don't think i'd want to be down there
<@VxD> you can always offer to help her reconstruct the course of events
<@VxD> "Ok, so let's imagine I'm your husband, and I'll mount you here..."
#80 + (9) - [X]
< shiruken> you don't label the masturbation door
< shiruken> you mark it
< shiruken> if you catch my drift

#81 + (-1) - [X]
12:58 < Nihilist> I'm at 7 items on my to do list *fights to keep it below 10*
12:58 < shiruken> bah, I have like 40-50
12:58 < _vertex_> Nihilist: if it hits nits shutdown your boss(es) computers
12:58 < _vertex_> nine even
13:01 < Nihilist> yes sir!

*time passes...*

13:28 < Nihilist> gack! up to nine tasks!
13:28 * VxD shoots one of Nihilist's tasks in the foot
13:29 < Nihilist> hahah!
13:29 < Nihilist> take that task!
13:29 < Nihilist> damnit! that was my task of taking lunch!
13:29 < Nihilist> gack!
13:29 * Nihilist runs around trying to find something to stop the bleeding

#82 + (14) - [X]
< pr0kfried> chicks with tatoos always look trashy to me
< shiruken> depends on the tattoo
< VxD> "Slippery when wet"
< shiruken> "Instant Slut: Just add Alchohol"
< VxD> "Pull back tab to reveal prize"

#83 + (4) - [X]
< VxD> anyway time to ride home
< grishnav> always leaving us
< Nihilist> rarely ever even offering a reach around.
< grishnav> just takes and takes

#85 + (8) - [X]
< Nihilist> I had dreams about you less week shiruken do you have a crush
on me?
< shiruken> Nihilist: no
< Nihilist> oh.
< Nihilist> oh well.
< shiruken> look, it's not you, it me
< shiruken> honest
< Nihilist> yeah.. right.
< shiruken> it's that.. well.. you know.. I'm currently married
< shiruken> and my wife gives me what you can't
< Nihilist> that didn't stop you last week when you... did those things..
< Nihilist> she can't please you like i can!!!!
< shiruken> that's true
< shiruken> she does a good job
< shiruken> you don't
< thumper^> THINGS HE DOOO?
< shiruken> sorry it had to end this way
< shiruken> but..
< shiruken> it's over
< Nihilist> NOO
* Nihilist cries
< Nihilist> but but shiruken
< Nihilist> I love you!
< shiruken> also, pressure of getting married puts wierd strains on people
< shiruken> you start thinking, did I have sex with everyone I wanted to?
< shiruken> did I want to have a messy 50 guy gang bang first?

#86 + (-24) - [X]
< nate> vertex-- : excited for the job fair ?
< nate> good opertunity to pickup chicks
< wilco> Fuckin' broke ones
< vertex--> nate: yes indeedy!
< vertex--> I will dazzle them with my fancy pants!
< vertex--> twirling my rapacious mustache!
< nate> nice.
* nate can't wait to be able to grow a mustache
< vertex--> I will pour champange and lure them into my net!
< wilco> Ha ha
< nate> awesome.

#87 + (0) - [X]
< grishnav> zipties are incredibly useful when handcuffs aren't available.
< shiruken> or cockrings
< grishnav> or cockrings
< VxD> zipties make good cockrings?
< shiruken> yeah, have the wife pull it tight right before you cum
< VxD> hotness
< shiruken> slight numbness may ensue

#92 + (-12) - [X]
< rlangis> that's a cheap slut!
< vertex--> hmm where is this Raffles?
< vertex--> because I could go for lime juice and a slut right about now
< rlangis> I could go for a slut that cheap...but then again, you get
what you pay for
< malfunct`> ya know, for all of google's greatness, they can't make
orkut work
< malfunct`> 90% of all searches fail with a "Bad, bad server. No donut
for you" error
< malfunct`> actually thats 90% of all clicks on orkut end with that
< vertex--> yeah but a cheap slut is still better than orkut
< malfunct`> eh, I suppose, though I haven't been looking for sluts
< shiruken> you gotta shop around for the best slut deal

#93 + (2) - [X]
< shiruken> now, is it a bad sign if you fall asleep by passing out drunk
more than say 6 times a week?
< vertex--> shiruken: it's a bad sign if you find yourself waking up in
the bar's bathroom more than 3 times per week
< shiruken> hrm
< vertex--> truth is hard eh?
< shiruken> that's not hte only thing hard
< nate> what about the weener in your butt ?

#94 + (6) - [X]
< grishnav> So you're driving along in the desert, and your engine siezes.
You have no food or water, and for some mysterious reason,
will die if you not get rescued today. You cannot get to the
town that is 10 miles down the road, and for whatever reason,
nobody is going to come by. How do you get rescued?
< _vertex_> light your spare tire on fire
< grishnav> ...
< lispy> grishnav: start playing solitare?
< grishnav> I have no idea what the answer is.
< VxD> eat your own sperm to survive
< grishnav> I was thinking maybe "signal the helocopter that happens to be
passing overhead," but I didn't think to ask about the
airspace in time.
< lispy> well, whenever you play solitare someone comes by to tell you how
to play, and bam! you're resuced
< grishnav> lispy: lol
< grishnav> that fucking rocks
< lispy> VxD: who but you thinks to "eat your own sperm to survive"?
Hmmm? Who? That's just wrong....
< grishnav> well, it is an antidepressant
< grishnav> and a happy face might make you live longer

#95 + (-5) - [X]
< karrlii> i have bad cramps
< karrlii> i just want to go home and lay in bed
< thumper^> karrlii: Don't worry, you're not alone
< thumper^> We all want to go lay in your bed too.
< karrlii> really?
< karrlii> lets go!
< karrlii> party in my bed!

#96 + (-4) - [X]
08:11 <karrlii> :/
08:11 <VxD> why the long face karrlii?
08:12 <VxD> 8------/
08:12 <VxD> big nose
08:13 <karrlii> for you
08:15 <VxD> a big nose for me!
08:15 <VxD> yay *eats it*

#97 + (-9) - [X]
< karrlii> dood im' seeing spots all of a sudden
< wilco> Detached retina?
< karrlii> umh
< karrlii> no
< _vertex_> spontaneous orgasm?
< karrlii> yeah especially since that happens so often when i'm talking
to you guys

#98 + (-4) - [X]
20:27 <shiruken> bacon makes everything taste better
20:27 <shiruken> especially bacon
20:27 <vertex--> 6 degrees of bacon
20:41 <VxD> 7 degrees of bacon seperation
20:45 <shiruken> hot bacon injection
20:46 <VxD> I love the feeling of hot bacon under my skin!

#99 + (-15) - [X]
< thumper^_> I just fucking pasted my password into a huge IRC channel.
< GiR> *In slow motion* Dooom de doom
* thumper^_ changes passwords

#100 + (12) - [X]
|18:03| < nate> my ass is on fire
|18:03| < rlangis> damnit VxD, I told you to use lube!

#101 + (-18) - [X]
< Partcik> vxd, you running linux now?
< VxD> I'm running it in my pants!
< Partcik> omg, linux is all files!! there's no GUI!! omfg
< VxD> the one in my pants gets GUI sometimes...
< Partcik> is your pecker, the kernel?
< Partcik> nice mang
< VxD> right now I'm accessing: 4 linux systems, three HP-UX systems, one
w2k desktop and two w2k servers :-P
< Partcik> omfg
< Partcik> gi me gi me gi me!!
< VxD> that should keep you busy
< Partcik> ;p
< Partcik> it would certainly do that
< Partcik> yes sir
< _vertex_> and that's with his right hand
< VxD> my left actually, my right is busy...
< _vertex_> hmm I thought you were bi

#102 + (-3) - [X]
14:55 <lispy> VxD: i'm having a down week also, and so is sarah, so i
think we should declare this week of Feburary to be National Down
Week, or NDW.
14:55 <VxD> or national uppers week...
14:55 <lispy> VxD: uppers could be the mascot
14:56 <lispy> bunnies are taken, old bearded men are taken...fairies are
taken...Hm...How about the Uppers Ferret brings you presents
14:56 <VxD> "This week sponsored by the happy little blue pill"
14:57 <lispy> "Small, blue, happy."
14:57 <lispy> oh, and different
14:57 <shiruken> bounce me like a red rubber ball, daddy!
14:57 <VxD> we'll call it "Smurf Week"
14:57 <lispy> "Have you been smurfed this week?"
14:57 <shiruken> hell, I smurf myself 4 times a day
14:58 <VxD> sounds like rimming
14:58 <lispy> "Thanks, little blue pill, I'm having a smurf'n good week!"
14:58 <VxD> you're in there up to your nose, you try to say anything and
it comes out, "smurf"

#104 + (10) - [X]
virtualdev: I'm playing MSSQL DBA today
virtualdev: *sigh*
virtualdev: I wish they would have approved my bloody training in that
bykguy: HEH
virtualdev: I have a couple online classes that I'm taking, but it isn't the same
bykguy: nope
virtualdev: I like having the instructors hands all over me...
virtualdev: uh, I mean, hands-on training
#105 + (17) - [X]
<vertex--> if i ever can name a mountain, i will call it "Samba"
<vertex--> Mount Samba
#106 + (2) - [X]
*** shebikibrown (~shebikibr@fern.shebiki.org) has joined channel
<shebikibrown> PRIVMSG nickserv :IDENTIFY ishere
<lispy> ugh
ERC> /msg nickserv ghost shebikibrown ishere
*** shebikibrown (~shebikibr@fern.shebiki.org) has quit: Nick
collision from services.

#107 + (4) - [X]
15:11 < _vertex_> in the same way that oral surgery is legend
15:11 < shiruken> I like oral
15:12 * lispy nods at shiruken
15:13 < lispy> any guy that says he doesn't like oral is just trying to get laid ;)
15:13 < _vertex_> hehehe
15:13 < shiruken> hrm, never knew that liking oral was an inhibitor to getting nookie
15:14 < shiruken> though I wonder how many guys turn down a blowjob
15:14 < shiruken> "Want a blowjob?"
15:14 < shiruken> "Nah, I'm ok"
15:14 < matchboy> it's like passing up a bong hit
15:14 < shiruken> totally
15:14 < shiruken> it just doesn't happen
15:14 < matchboy> "Nah, that's cool... maybe next time."
15:15 < shiruken> I give the same response to both
15:15 < shiruken> "Just don't tell my wife"

#108 + (14) - [X]
<VxD>apt-get install erection
<baloo>I'm suddenly reminded of an old Slashdot Radio bit. "apt-get install jesus"
<VxD># apt-get install jesus
<VxD>Reading Package Lists... Done
<VxD>Building Dependency Tree... Done
<VxD>E: Couldn't find package jesus
<VxD>can't find jesus's package
<baloo>I think it's in experimental.
VxD looks in unstable
<VxD>ha, I get results
<VxD>$ apt-cache search jesus
<VxD>ispanish - The Spanish dictionary for ispell
<VxD>myspell-es - The Spanish dictionary for myspell
<baloo>#apt-get install jesus
<baloo>Reading Package Lists...
<baloo>Building Dependency Tree...
<baloo>The following extra packages will be installed:
<baloo> erection
<baloo>The following NEW packages will be installed:
<baloo> erection jesus
<baloo>0 packages upgraded, 4 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
<baloo>Need to get 8329kB of archives. After unpacking, 17.2MB will be used.
<baloo>Do you want to continue? [Y/n]
<Nihilist>jesus is only 17 megs?
<baloo>jesus and erection
<VxD>they sure know how to make code in Heaven
<thumper^>good compression

#109 + (-9) - [X]
User wangstick joined channel #G4TechTV
<wangstick>god i've been banned like 6 times this week from this thing
<wangstick>for almost nothin
<wangstick>nazi mods
<baloo>I guess you almost need to stop doing that then, wangstick
<wangstick>but im only expressing my opinion ;_;
<wangstick>and i get banned
baloo laughs!
<baloo>If I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you. 8)
<wangstick>are you talking about
<Dan_Sgambelluri>!kb wangstick evading ban0
ChanServ sets mode +b *!*@pcp07840731pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net on #G4TechTV
wangstick has left the chat (Kicked by ChanServ. Reason: (Dan_Sgambelluri) evading ban0).

#110 + (48) - [X]
< baloo> Build-a-bear workshop is creepy
< shiruken> whoa, wait a minute
< shiruken> you're a furry
< shiruken> and you think build-a-bear workshop is freaky?
< VxD> it's like they are making a fake soul
< VxD> it doesn't have a *REAL* furry heart

#111 + (6) - [X]
< baloo> Jeeze, Ringo Raccoon signs off FurryMUCK like he's going to bed
for the night then calls me on the phone out of the blue.
< lispy> baloo: booty call eh?
#112 + (-4) - [X]
< rlangis> gentoo is easy: http://bash.org/?464385
< baloo> You owe me a keyboard
< rlangis> LOL

#113 + (17) - [X]
<baloo> "Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of
Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and
that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach
his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the
chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot."
<GiR> I know.. I'm scared too
<baloo> Can't you get an assisted suicide permit in Oregon if that
happens to you?
<rlangis> might

#114 + (11) - [X]
< baloo> I hope the punishment for whoever came up with Burger King's
current ads is eternity in hell being force fed Bacon Chedder
Ranch burgers while listening to that damn jingle.
< VxD> and to your ribs they're stickin'...
< shiruken> the girls are hot on that ad
< VxD> they don't look as good on the radio
< baloo> shiruken: The girls are hot on that ad, but I've discovered that
some of the girls driving trucks into Troutdale are also pretty
< shiruken> hrm, never would've thought that
< baloo> Another thing I noticed: If it's a woman driving the truck, it
could be a sewage truck with shit running down the sides and a
slightly less anorexic Britney Spears will be driving it. Brand
new 65 foot Freightliner with a sleeper larger than the studio I
had downtown? The Queen of Sea Cows will be driving it.
< shiruken> I'm having a hard time believing this
< baloo> OK, do you have any weekdays off?
< shiruken> to go scope out truck stops?
< shiruken> hrm, let me check my calendar

#115 + (-22) - [X]
< karrlii> i don't even have to work
< karrlii> and yet i'm here putting up with his crap
< shiruken> I can put you to work
< karrlii> shiruken heh
< karrlii> oh yeah?
< karrlii> please do
< shiruken> yup
< shiruken> ok, first I would greet you at the door
< shiruken> I would be wearing a classy suit
< shiruken> that exudes power and confidence
< shiruken> your heart flutters
< karrlii> is there a dragon involved?
< karrlii> i want you to have a pet dragon
< shiruken> I lean close and say, "I need you to replace tape cl6799 with
cl6805 for a restore"
< karrlii> :/
< karrlii> tease
#117 + (24) - [X]
< matchboy> karrlii: i peaked at your photos on your site of you in a
< matchboy> you're way hotter than vxd in his
< matchboy> but, i still prefer the idea of baloo in his bear suit in a

#120 + (-16) - [X]
< rlangis> what's the opposite of hate?
< brick> love
? brick :( was kicked from #seattle by Derision ?Love Kick!!!!?
< rlangis> there we go
? brick ??> ?goldllama@
* rlangis snickers
< brick> trhanks

#122 + (-2) - [X]
< matchboy> does it ever not work? (the monitor)
< matchboy> or is it just dark
< thumper^> When it doesn't work, it's black as your mom's boyfriend.

#123 + (-21) - [X]
<baloo>hearing_aid_with_attitude: Turn up your hearing aid, then.
- --PenitentThingy has left the chat (Kicked by G4|CyBot. Reason: All caps is like YELLING. When you come back, turn off CAPS LOCK. Ok. Thanks. Bye.).

#124 + (5) - [X]
< ashore> We've talked about integrating at least our Samba environments
with Active directory, but authenticating UNIX users through
the windows active directory would be really nice.
< VxD> everyone wants single sign-on these days
< shiruken> well, there is kerberos
< shiruken> has been for a long time
< kraptv> ashore: kerberos. straightforward.
< wilco> Woeks okay roo
< wilco> works
< wilco> fuckin papercuts
< kraptv> we've got single sign on with linux, irix, macos (a mess), and
< ashore> how difficult is it to setup?
< shiruken> well, kraptv did it, so it can't be too hard
< kraptv> oh kenny.
< kraptv> it was sooo easy
< kraptv> i just dubble clicked and stuff
#125 + (-1) - [X]
<paca>This guy I work with today said "I hyper-extended my toungue, and now that thing under it hurts."
<Lispy>oh, hey the daily news is here
<paca>So our receptionist says "How did you do that?"
<baloo>Oh no
<paca>he didn't answer....
#126 + (14) - [X]
<livinded>Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay = G4TV
[06:09:00 pm] - --livinded has left the chat (Kicked by G4|CyBot. Reason: SSSSSPAM. Don't you think writing "A" once or twice would be enough? You wrote 105 of them!!! When you come back, don't spam. Ok, thanks, bye.).
[06:09:06 pm] - --FifthDream sets mode +b *!*@ on #g4tv
[06:09:15 pm] <baloo>Fifthdream hits another one out of the park.
[06:09:40 pm] <shadow-fox> into deep center field

#128 + (-3) - [X]
<+ orbgasm> have you seen the baby jesus buttplug at
<+ rlangis> baby jesus makes anal virgins cry

#130 + (14) - [X]
< VxD> I hate working all of a sudden at this time of night, all I want
to do it eat munchies
< HentaiJess> you should watch some pr0n. that'll keep you from being
hungry...at least for munchies, anyway
< rlangis> who's been doing lines of catnip, eh?
< rlangis> yeah, try to sound authoritive with your pants down around
your knees in front of the computer
< HentaiJess> can you check the fan? it seems to be making this weird
"fap, fap" noise....

#131 + (0) - [X]
<@Weebs> I got a phone number of a chica at my 2k3 server class
<@Weebs> not because I wanted to call her, but because I found it really
funny to think about picking up chicks at a nerd class

#132 + (3) - [X]
< thumper^> I would look funny sitting on a bike that small.
< lispy> chicks dig a funny guy
< VxD> circus clowns get all the action
* lispy goes to join the circus
< shiruken> you just don't want that action
* VxD watches the bearded lady go down on lispy
< thumper^> The bearded lady is randy for your little wang

#133 + (-9) - [X]
[scream|public] Iann says, "Whee! Roomate cuts the power to the network becuase the lights from the hub keep his 'not-girlfriend' awake!"
[scream|public] Baloo_Ursidae says, "Get him back. Tomorrow, not-fuck his not-girlfriend."
[scream|public] Iann says, "I'm gonna go with a 'no' on that. Fucking her would make my life much much worse, and it has little to nothing to do with him."
[scream|public] Iann says, "'not-fucking' as well."
[scream|public] Baloo_Ursidae says, "So if fucking her would make your life worse, and not fucking her would make your life worse, what do you have to lose? 8:o)"

#134 + (-15) - [X]
(13:41:09) ***virtualdev calls HR
(13:41:20) bykguy: uh oh
(13:41:28) bykguy: i didn't mean to grab you there
(13:41:51) bykguy: i was showing someone my bowling technique and you just stepped in to the wrong spot
(13:42:00) bykguy: it's all a big misunderstanding
#135 + (-1) - [X]
<shiruken> I was told that I'm not flexible and conversant with my
<shiruken> that they want someone to talk to them before I jump in
and fix their problems
<shiruken> they want...
<shiruken> Romance
<VxD> I think they mean you don't give good head
<shiruken> nah, this is before foreplay
<VxD> there is something before foreplay?
<shiruken> yeah, dinner
<shiruken> dancing
<VxD> "I bought you Taco Bell, let's fuck
<shiruken> saying sweet words in her ear
<shiruken> "You ordered the lobster! You better swallow"
<shiruken> I like the girls line, "I won't give it up to now,
that'll make it more special later"
<VxD> "It can be special every time"

#136 + (23) - [X]
<@Weebs> I would really enjoy being at home right now
<@VxD> jack off hour?

#137 + (1) - [X]
<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <shiruken> like, you don't pick up the name, 'Bukkake Bill'
by shining shoes
<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <HentaiJessOIT> Bukkake: when a mommy and a daddy and a
daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy get together
so they can give mommy a special facial moisturizing treatment.

#138 + (-8) - [X]
<@Weebs> back when I was sponsored by arcteryx I lived at rei
<@VxD> yeah, back when I was sponsored by Happy Clown Condoms I
lived...uh, nevermind
<@Weebs> you scare me sometimes
<@VxD> that's odd, I should be scaring you all the time

#139 + (-15) - [X]
<shiruken> everyone lies in a relationship
<shiruken> well, except me
<shiruken> which is probably why they were so short
<shiruken> "Do you love me?"
<shiruken> "No, I'm just in it for the sex"
<mastiff> Do these pants make me look fat?
<mastiff> you better lie
<shiruken> heh
<shiruken> I guess I do
<VxD> "Let me see it with them off again"
<mastiff> "It's not the pants"

#140 + (5) - [X]
<shiruken> anyhow, those are good grades
<nate> thanks dad
<lispy> i knew it!
<lispy> nate is the love child of VxD and shiruken !
<GiR> I'm gonna make toast!
* lispy runs to the press with his new story
<lispy> screw this, i'm going home
<shiruken> lispy: he got his mac from some daddy
<nate> his name was Visa
<nate> and he owns my butthole

#141 + (-10) - [X]
* shiruken is compiling
<lispy> compiling an anal bum cover?
<shiruken> yeah, I don't want a visit from the butt pirates aboard
SS Ahoy, Sailor
<shiruken> hrm, just got to gcc, this'll be a while
<lispy> gotta watch out for their swashbuckling swards

#142 + (-38) - [X]
< pr0kfried> i think it's funny that apache's spelling module is called mod_spel
< pr0kfried> sorry, mod_speling
< VxD> pr0kfried: typo you!
< pr0kfried> type, not mis-spelling
< VxD> pr0kfried: A LIKELY STORY!

#143 + (17) - [X]
< kraptv> mastiff logs in as root for daily activities.
< VxD> I login as pigfucker for daily activities
< mastiff> I login as root, but I set the UID of root to 666 and make an
account called satan that has UID 0
< mastiff> so when you do an ls -lR on my system it looks like all my
files are posessed by the devil

#144 + (0) - [X]
<lispy> damn, my rio doesn't hold a charge when it is off
<VxD> you need the Rio Grande to do that
#145 + (-7) - [X]
< paca> Are there ab=ny torrent sites still running?
< shiruken> what are ab=ny?
< lispy> pirate's bay is still running
< lispy> but i don't know what ab=ny is so maybe it doesn't count
< shiruken> must be a furry video sex trading ring
< lispy> shiruken: yeah, maybe baloo can explain it
< lispy> although, if that is the case, i don't want to know...
< shiruken> anal beastiality = nookie with yaks
< shiruken> it's hard to type out
< shiruken> so you have to use the ab=ny shorthand
< shiruken> it's super sekkrit
< lispy> heh, i just realized ab=ny is a typo for "any"
< shiruken> sh.
< shiruken> heh
< shiruken> ah, the b for the n and the = for the backspace
* lispy nods
< shiruken> it's 2 typos
< shiruken> which proves
< shiruken> that we are all 2 typos away from sex with yaks
< lispy> wow, that's a scary thought
< shiruken> I just lowered your wpm
< shiruken> sure, i can do 100 wpm, but think of the yaks

#146 + (-1) - [X]
<shiruken> hrm, I made a tuna sandwhich this morning
<shiruken> for lunch
<shiruken> now, everytime I get my fingers close to my nose, I think I had sex

#147 + (16) - [X]
<VxD> funny, I did that Monday
<pr0kfried> made a sammich, or had sex?
<VxD> sure
<shiruken> vxd probably did them at the same time
<shiruken> he's multi-tasking like that
#148 + (-4) - [X]
< Weebs> none of those asses were good
< Weebs> the first one isn't bad
<@VxD> I like ass, it's all good
<@hanna> I agree. I like big butts
< Weebs> not a fan
< Weebs> I couldn't be a rapper

#149 + (-4) - [X]
<@Weebs> it's very windy here
<@VxD> bah, if it's not snowing, who cares!
<@Weebs> lol you are way braver than I am
<@Weebs> I admire that
<@VxD> I'll tell you a seekret, it's because I have a deathwish :)
<@VxD> self-hate empowers the weak!
<@Weebs> yeah being married will do that to a man
#150 + (-5) - [X]
23:39 < lispy> OMG! one more quote and we'll have 150!

#152 + (22) - [X]
< teknotus> Is the sound something like "Owch that hurts so much that I
think I might die"?
< VxD> like when you go pee after sex?
< wilco> Why does that happen? Do you think seminal fluid dissolves the
interior of the urethra a bit?
< shiruken> hrm, I pee before sex
< _vertex_> *cough*gonherrea*cough*
< shiruken> the few times after, I haven't had any pain
< wilco> Actually, it's usuually only after jerking off
< wilco> And no, it's not VD
< _vertex_> wilco: been swabbed?
< VxD> gak
< _vertex_> VxD knows
< shiruken> if wilco says he's clean, he's clean
< wilco> I'm clean
< _vertex_> how do you know where that hand has been?
< _vertex_> hmmm?
< shiruken> there was the time that my hand cheated on me with Ben Affleck
< _vertex_> my hand went to thailand once for a week and I didn't let it
back in bed until it went to the doctor
< shiruken> I have to list my hand a sexual offender in a database
< _vertex_> what an aweful week, but when the tests came back clean it
was a most excellent reunion
< shiruken> you had make up sex then
< _vertex_> oh yeah for days
#153 + (13) - [X]
<matchboy> hurt me.
<VxD> you heard us talking about gay man spanking earlier didn't

#154 + (-26) - [X]
< kraptv> I just posted a staff-wide email request wanting a brick phone.
< thumper^> heh
< thumper^> You're going to have a hard time finding a carrier for that
< kraptv> You imply I am going to use it as an analog cell phone.
< thumper^> Well, what else? Going to nuke your nuts with it?

#155 + (-41) - [X]
06:12 < thumper^> linux is the festering shit that spoils the minds of today's geek youth

#156 + (-4) - [X]
06:09 < shiruken> I think because it's closed source, it's against my morals
06:10 < shiruken> if I ever have a problem with photoshop, or wish to add a feature, I can't
06:10 < thumper^> You buy photoshop, you give money to adobe. it givew money to employees, employees give money to local economy, local economy grows.
06:10 < shiruken> and because I can't, the world is deprived of a better peice of software
06:10 < thumper^> How is thatnot helping
06:10 < thumper^> You think like a programmer, I think like a normal human.
06:11 < thumper^> I don't code anythign but web sites.
06:11 < shiruken> that run on apache and linux :)

#158 + (12) - [X]
[12:56] <Weebs> I'm trying to think of something to eat for lunch
[12:56] <Weebs> any ideas?
[12:56] <VxD> penis
[12:56] <VxD> sliced and fried in butter
[12:56] <Weebs> no thanks, I only have one here and I'm saving it for a special

#159 + (-18) - [X]
<@Weebs> shaun I'll be there all alone
<@Weebs> will you be my date?
<@hemp> only if you wear a mini skirt
<@shiruken> it's a kilt
<@shiruken> and real scottish guys go commando to be ready
<@VxD> ...for the sheep

#160 + (-7) - [X]
<VxD> haha, I'm finally getting around to the PDXLUG thread on
bribing/stalking Linus
<VxD> holy hell that was a long thread
<lispy> heh, creepy ass PDX crowd :)
<charlieS> lol :)
<lispy> was anyone trying to have his baby?
<GiR> I got a coupon!
<lispy> besides, karrlii of course

#161 + (14) - [X]
09:27 < cwells> you guys just need to learn the word "anal"
09:28 < cwells> the original birth control

#162 + (-12) - [X]
<@Weebs> I'm coming close to my 12 year anni of touching a boob for the first time in a non-truth or dare setting

#163 + (8) - [X]
<@Weebs> I Was a bunko party on saturdday
<@Weebs> and while I was at the head table this girl asked "so this is
where the orgy happens right? since this is the head table"
<@Weebs> too bad she was the only unattractive girl there

#164 + (-2) - [X]
<Weebs> "I can't give you my heart... here are my ears"
<hemp> "forget the ears... give me head"
#165 + (5) - [X]
<@Weebs> I pee a little bit everynight on my roommates bed
<@VxD> because you miss his mouth?

#166 + (4) - [X]
< vertex-> ah friday off
< vertex-> it's like
< vertex-> like
< vertex-> like heaven. corporate heaven. massa done let me have a day
for myself
< dooder> you lucky bastard
< vertex-> oh but massa say I gots to shine his ass on Monday.
< vertex-> twice
#167 + (20) - [X]
< wilco> My wife returns today! Yay!
< VxD> the IRS is giving you a refund?
< wilco> Two weeks of abstinence^Wabsence is hard to bear!
< wilco> Haha
< VxD> "I'm sorry sir, when we asked if you wanted to file your wife
jointly we didn't intend you to mail her with your forms."

#169 + (-2) - [X]
< natedawg> my problem finding a job i think is that i'm too bad ass
< natedawg> and it freaks people out
< geekinpink> :-P
< VxD> yeah, and then they know you are bluffing on the questions and it
ruins that badass image
< geekinpink> do you sing, "I'm too sexy for this job, too sexy for this
< VxD> so sexy it hurts!
< shiruken> just say things like
< shiruken> If I wasn't here, you bitches wouldn't know how to do your
< shiruken> you pathetic wussies
< shiruken> then body slam the copier

#171 + (24) - [X]
< cactus> vaginas dont like irc
< geekinpink> mine doesn't seem to mind
< cactus> well, you are sitting on it..what is it going to say?
< cactus> >_<
< geekinpink> murphle...weralkdfj...

#172 + (-4) - [X]
<@Weebs> singing whitesnake while drunk is the way I pick up chicks
<@forkmaster> because they feel sorry for the mental retard?

#173 + (-19) - [X]
< forkmaster> I can't host my 4U with you for $32/mo
< cwells> true
< cwells> maybe 32 and a handjob
< forkmaster> ooo, tempting
< forkmaster> I'll bring my 10 year old for the second part
< cwells> god
< cwells> you are a sick bastard
< cwells> is she hot?

#174 + (-16) - [X]
<kraptv> cac tus.
* rlangis watches kraptv pick a random word out of the air and drop it on the channel

#175 + (8) - [X]
<@Weebs> it always makes me nervous when VxD isn't actively talking...
I'm scared that he's finally snapped and has done something that
would warrent his arrest :(

#176 + (12) - [X]
17:31 < geekinpink> hmmm...I don't find him very attractive
17:33 < wilco> Most people don't :)
17:34 < geekinpink> and that size of penis sounds kinda painful.
17:47 < wilco> Eh, depends what you're into :)

#177 + (-1) - [X]
< cwells> hm
< cwells> i wonder why i keep expecting bits of javascript i find
on the net to actually work
< cwells> sigh
< cwells> i'll never learn
< rlangis> eventually you will
< rlangis> some snippet will morph into a huge trojan, take over
your system, have sex with your girlfriend, drink all
your beer and ddos your ISP
< rlangis> then, only then, MAYBE you'll learn
< cwells> ah. so *that's* who did that
* rlangis wanders off to download some javascript snippets

#178 + (-17) - [X]
< lispy> heh, this paper defines an operator (<>)
< lispy> i'm waiting for <{}> to be used :)
< shiruken> not the tie fighter? |-O-|
< shiruken> or darth vader? <-O->
< shiruken> you must use the darth vader operator to trigger a goto
< shiruken> an cross into the dark side of the force
#179 + (15) - [X]
<rlangis> fuck the girl scouts!
<rlangis> er...
<geekinpink> lol
<forkmaster> I could, but I think I would get in trouble
<geekinpink> isn't that their new moto?
<dooder> if it's not, it should be
<rlangis> no, that's the boy scout's new motto
<geekinpink> fuck the girl scouts...buy a cookie
<dooder> they can start selling cherries

#180 + (-15) - [X]
<Weebs> I think I have a virus :(
<hemp> wird
<hemp> is it th missing "" virus?
<hemp> it rmovs all th 's from your scrn?
<shiruken> I had that on for a whil
<hemp> that would suck
<shiruken> totally, how would you vr talk about sx?
<shiruken> you'd b lik hy baby, wanna cybr?
<shiruken> and sh'd b lik, "what?"
* forkmaster giggl's
<hemp> of cours, if your nick was "wbs" thn that would b rally hard
<shiruken> no sx for wbs
<hemp> no goats.cx for wbs ithr
<forkmaster> nuts
<hemp> nuts h can do
<hemp> but pnis is strictly out of th qustion

#181 + (-21) - [X]
<@[i]con> When I get home, I get to reinstall XP. YAY!!
<@[i]con> I need to pick up some libricant on the way home.
<@forkmaster> yes, XP needs lots of lubricant
<@hemp> for XP Home, that's true ... but XP Pro has been around the block
enough - lube is optional

#183 + (-19) - [X]
<VxD> yes, hard to take a jackoff break in the company bathroom with a broken pinky...
<hemp> yikes
<VxD> oh c'mon, like you've never done that
<Weebs> nope sorry, you're alone in that one
<VxD> well I would have to have been huh
<Weebs> reach arounds are still jacking off...
<Weebs> a contractor doesn;t build his house... but he does build a house... catch my drift
#184 + (-13) - [X]
<@[i]con> Arr!
<@[i]con> Avast.
<@Weebs> me hardy!
<@Weebs> parlay
<@[i]con> Arrgg.. I be the dread pirate swishy-hair, there be a storm
brewin' in me skivvies.
<@[i]con> Our company celebrates National Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day, it's
<@Weebs> does your company also sponsor ass orgies?
<@Weebs> cuz that's pretty gay

#185 + (-13) - [X]
<@Weebs> Oh! hemp,
<@Weebs> Did u ever fall in love, but knew they didn't care?
<@Weebs> U cry all night in misery, and almost go insane.
<@hemp> no you didn't ... you offered to make my wife give you a blowjob
<@hemp> that is not love

#186 + (-17) - [X]
< shiruken> dooder: I'd live in portland if I were single
< dooder> me too
< shiruken> hell, if I were single, I think my biggest expense would be
my bar tab
< dooder> mine too
< dooder> and lube budget
< shiruken> if a girl isn't prepared to bring her own lube, she's just
not prepared for you

#187 + (0) - [X]
< cwells> this is so not belinda carlisle getting gangbanged
< cwells> i *hate* false adverts on edonkey

#188 + (-28) - [X]
< lispy> dooder: that's right, i'm here to build a new america
< lispy> vote for me in 2008 or become a slave in the new republic of
< lispy> Republic of American People Everywhere, or RAPE for short
< lispy> then we'll make third world countries our slaves
< lispy> i'm sure it will be quite popular
< lispy> join us in our philosophy of RAPE

#189 + (-18) - [X]
< Weebs_> I just called our ISP tech support and he's like "I see errors
on your router, I'll clear them and if you keep having problems
we'll see what's new, have a nice day *CLICK*"
< [i]con> Wow.
< [i]con> Who's your ISP?
< Weebs_> XO
< Weebs_> same as you
< Weebs_> (at work)
<@shiruken> so, I just got this call from a guy who thought I was XO tech
<@shiruken> I told him, dude, I'll clean out your router with my router
sweep brush. hav a nice day
<@shiruken> *click*
#190 + (20) - [X]
<Weebs_> I sung no whitesnake this weekend
<Weebs_> but I was able to sleep with a hottie (read sleep as sleep, not as sex or even getting some)
<VxD> read: sleep in same tent but different sleeping bags and try to hold back sobs as he jacks himself off to sleep...
<Weebs_> hey come on, give me some credit
<Weebs_> back of an explorer 1 sleeping bag ok
<VxD> sorry, couldn't resist
<VxD> didn't the hand motions wake her up?
<Weebs_> haha nope, she was out
#191 + (-10) - [X]
< keithgodat> i mean you dont just buy a car if it says "this is the
right car for you"
< VxD> if I can find a car that talks I'll buy it

#192 + (8) - [X]
< keithgodat> well i pray but... unless your christian your gonna think
im insane ;-)
< robbyonrails> yeah, i think most prayers are insane
< keithgodat> well then your gonna think this is even more insane
< keithgodat> I speak in tounges, tremble when im in Gods presence, and
ive been slain in the spirit alot :D
< VxD> what level of Doom was that?

#193 + (-8) - [X]
< nate> yay. happy birthday to me
< lispy> nate: congratulations you slice of shit, you're a year closer to death

#194 + (1) - [X]
< [i]con> I asked a customer to get by his main CPU and reseat the
network cable, and he said to me "Wow Tyler, I didn't know
you'd have me getting on my knees so early in the morning."
< [i]con> Needless to say, I had to quickly put him on mute to hide the

#195 + (-3) - [X]
< cwells> sex is like parallel parking a 73 buick

#196 + (1) - [X]
<inertia> Happy Flag Day!!!! :)
<VxD> Happy Fag Day?
<iNERG> It's flag day?
<Weebs> FLAG DAY!!!!
<iNERG> Huh.. it really is flag day.
<iNERG> I just looked on my calendar.
<iNERG> Almost makes me want to go out and find a flag with a big penis on it and hang it up.
<Weebs> YOU unpatriotic buttmunch, how can you not know it's flagday
* inertia looks around for her vagina flag...
<Weebs> google big penis flag
<Weebs> "did you mean big penis fag?"
<iNERG> rofl
<iNERG> That's classic.
#197 + (-9) - [X]
<shiruken> how many guys like girls who wear pigtails and dress up in a school girl uniform?
<shiruken> are they pedophiles?
<shiruken> you don't see girls asking you to wear a peter pan outfit
<Weebs> short skirts and handlebars... It's not about being a pedophile... it's about convienence

#198 + (9) - [X]
<@shiruken> we went to a mexican restaurant
<@shiruken> my daughter said, "Daddy are you mexi-can?"
<@shiruken> "uh no"
<@shiruken> "Then why are you so brown?"
<@thumper^> Why *ARE* you so brown?
<@shiruken> because I'm so full of shit

#199 + (-4) - [X]
< robbyonrails> at my last job, we convinced our boss to hire a teenage boy, so the porn downloading went way down as we had the boy to look at

#202 + (-4) - [X]
* thumper^ wonders what determains how fast or slow a torrent downloads
<@Weebs> depends
<@thumper^> No tanks, I'll just use the bathroom

#203 + (-6) - [X]
< lispy> do vegetarian girls swallow?
< HentaiJessOIT> i wouldn't know
< HentaiJessOIT> i'll have to do a survey

#205 + (4) - [X]
* thumper^ has a palm he never uses
VxD> you jack off with your feet?
#206 + (1) - [X]
<thumper^> Sleep well?
< jae_fox> kinda lol
<thumper^> I should make a script that makes stats about how often you 'lol'
< jae_fox> ok
<thumper^> Right now we've said 134 lines to eachother. You've said 'lol' 18 times. That's 13% of the lines you've spoken, have contained 'lol'
< jae_fox> omg
< jae_fox> thats sad
<thumper^> That you say it, or that I took the time to make the stats? :P
< jae_fox> both
<thumper^> :)
#207 + (4) - [X]
< cwells> there's a big market for male strippers up there
< Nihilist> cwells: male strippers or "looks like young children"
< cellarstella> the latter
< GiR> the latter is more what kraptv is interested in.
< VxD> I bet he is

#208 + (25) - [X]
< cwells> shiruken: have another coffee
< shiruken> ?
< shiruken> I'm just not subtle
< shiruken> ever
< cwells> i'm just basing my observation on sheer line count
< shiruken> ah
< lispyoncrack> does this conversation make my logfile look fat?

#209 + (3) - [X]
<@VxD> thumper^: what's the screen resolution on that Etch-a-sketch pen?
< thumper^> it's pretty small. ich square or so
< thumper^> Inch
<@VxD> can it run at 800x600 at least?
< thumper^> ...
<@VxD> and does it have a DVI input?
< thumper^> Of course
<@VxD> I was thinking to mod it into a heads up display
< nihilist> hah
< nihilist> dvi etchasketch
<@VxD> dvi 800x600 etchasketch HUD!
< lispy> nice HUD until you do a somersault
#210 + (18) - [X]
<cellarstella> I'm trying to think of someway that a blowjob is like knitting, but I really can't think of anything
<Miichael> lol
<cellarstella> guess you're SOL, cwells
<thumper^> Requires skill and a gentle touch?
<cellarstella> not really
<thumper^> Well I guess you're not sucking me off then.
#211 + (17) - [X]
< geekinpink> well, I'm going to spend the night at my boyfriend's house
< geekinpink> ta-ta
< nate> slu
< cactus> hot monkey sex!
< VxD> wait, don't leave yet, my wife isn't gone!
#213 + (2) - [X]
<cwells> oh well, i just washed my hair.. oh well i think they're closed.. oh well i'd have to take this BIG DICK OUT OF MY AS
#214 + (18) - [X]
19:13 < cwells> i no longer jack off to things. now i jack off *at* things
19:13 < robbyonrails> do you aim?
19:13 < cwells> sorta
19:13 < robbyonrails> i onced tried to hit the guy in the picture
#215 + (4) - [X]
<lispy> GiR: tell cwells about chill the ham
<GiR> lispy wants you to know: chill the ham is, like, happy talk for buttsex
<cwells> is that an offer?
<lispy> GiR: tell cwells about offer
<GiR> lispy: sorry...you suck
<cwells> wow
<cwells> that's an offer
#216 + (5) - [X]
<robbyonrails> i bought a Teen Beat magazine
<robbyonrails> cut the eyes out it
<robbyonrails> off tons of girls
<cwells> this is my favorite show
<robbyonrails> and such
<robbyonrails> and pasted pages together
<robbyonrails> ripped off feet on some of them
<robbyonrails> and then left it in the mens bathroom
#217 + (-5) - [X]
(16:01:50) virtualdev: I have a meeting starting right now
(16:01:55) bykguy: niiiice
(16:02:02) virtualdev: yeah, about my project plan
(16:02:14) bykguy: good times, have fun
(16:02:46) bykguy: step 1 of my project plan is to order a McMinnies Long Island Icet Tea
(16:06:05) bykguy: step two involves a coordinated effort between the sexy waitress, my hand, my mouth. It will involve the timely arrival of the desired product triggering my hand in to motion to accept the product and deliver it to my mouth for proper processing
(16:07:38) bykguy: major milestones of my project are arriving at McMinnies, ordering of the drink, and product intake... which is also the succesful completion point of the project
(16:08:10) bykguy: shortly there after a project report will be submitted to the urinal, and we'll be done.
#218 + (2) - [X]
< Drown> rendevouz
< xinu> rendezvous
< xinu> i have no idea why i know how to spell that word
< lispy> renderbooze
< xinu> i think i used it in a love letter to some chick in junior high
and wanted to make sure i spelled it right
< lispy> man, that gives me an idea...
< xinu> lispy: you're going to write a love letter to some chick?
< lispy> xinu: haha
< lispy> no, i should write an program to show off my l33t skillz that
just 3d renders types of alcohol
< lispy> called it renderbooze
< xinu> haha, that's awesome
< lispy> er call not called
< lispy> heh, Renderbooze: Absolute 3D

#219 + (6) - [X]
<@ Omniflare> *** NewOrleans has quit IRC (Excess Flood)

#220 + (21) - [X]
<Nihilist> you suck more and more every day
<cwells> hm
<cwells> so does your server
<cwells> as i pull one piece off of it everytime you talk shit to me
<cwells> luckily for you most of the peices are small
<cwells> like this capacitor that just came off
<Nihilist> and uhm.. i put suger in your girlfriend and fucked your car!
<rlangis> stella is sweet and his car is already fucked. ;)
<rlangis> you're quick, Nihilist
<cellarstella> I got sugar in me!
#221 + (30) - [X]
hemp: is google down?
VxD: like weebs on your sister
#222 + (14) - [X]
[ absolutejoe] Darn VPN, I have to fix stuff from home ... darn technology ... I wouldn't have this problem if I was a yack milker, people wouldn't be bringing me their yacks saying, hey, I know you were sleeping, but could you milk my yack ???

#223 + (-7) - [X]
< geekinpink> I already get all the sex I want
< shiruken> yeah, but does your boyfriend?

#224 + (33) - [X]
<cactus> fur is not the suit! skin is the suit!
<Baloo> cactus: Soylent Men's Warehouse?
<cactus> its made out of people..but you will like the way you look, I gaurantee
<lispy`> it puts the lotion on its fur or it gets the hose again

#225 + (-6) - [X]
<cactus> if ($gf.body == 'hot') { self.copulate }
<Baloo> cactus: There's a bug in your code. Patch follows:
<Baloo> if ($gf.body != 'hot') { self.copulate }
<cactus> ooh. good catch
<Baloo> Alternatively...
<cactus> if ($gf.hot-sister > 0) { print 'w00t'; }
<Baloo> if ($gf.body == 'hot') { copulate.ro }
<Baloo> if ($spouse.body == 'hot') { copulate }
<VxD> include spank.world;
<cactus> finger $gf
<cactus> if ( $gf != $wife && $wife.event == 'caught') { $wife.throw sigkill }
#226 + (8) - [X]
-!- Polk_ [i=kew@c-67-171-140-109.hsd1.or.comcast.net] has joined #orlug
< kraptv> Hi Polk. I love your audio. I gotta go.
#227 + (9) - [X]
< cwells> great
< cwells> we have ants in the kitchen
< cwells> i debated for a moment whether i should clean up, but opted
instead to stab one with a butcher knife
< cwells> that should discourage the rest of them
< rlangis> damned skippy

#228 + (2) - [X]
< lispy> everyone has had more sex than me!
< shiruken> duh
< shiruken> of course
< shiruken> hell, my first time, I bet I had more sex than you

#229 + (19) - [X]
[Weebs] so I hung out with my girlfriends friends on saturday night... it was odd. They all were vegan (my gf isn't) and I walked in with a bag of KFC food.
[Weebs] 2 of the 3 friends had been protesting a KFC that morning.
[Weebs] kinda awkward
[Weebs] after about 20 minutes of being scolded about eatting the death birds of american society they finally stopped
[Weebs] I was feeling kinda bad about the whole thing. They believe so strongly in animal rights and crap
[Weebs] so anyways we played monopoly for a while then they all started to leave.
[Weebs] Katie and I walked them out to their cars.
[Weebs] as sara (super vegan deluxe) opened her door I noticed something about her car
[Weebs] it had leather seats!
[@ thumper^] HAH!
[@ VxD] bwwwhahahahahaha
[Weebs] I was so ready to fly off the damn handle at her
[@ thumper^] JOO BE BUSTED, BIOTCH!
[Weebs] sara just got a job with PETA in georgia
[Weebs] so basically, she harassed people who were going to KFC for food in the morning, harassed me in the evening, then rode home on the lushious assmeat of a baby cow.

#230 + (-10) - [X]
<karrlii> i want to tell you guys a dream i've been having
<karrlii> so you can tell me what's wrong with me
<karrlii> i keep dreaming that my mother is trying on different sized penises on her head, like they're detachable
<karrlii> the other night the penis also came with a pulsating asshole
<karrlii> it was distrubring
<geekinpink> NO KIDDING
<karrlii> disturbing
<geekinpink> do you have a good relationship with your mother?
<karrlii> geekinpink yeah better now than what it used to be
<VxD> are you worried that you never got to try out all the penises you wanted and now you are stuck with only one?
<karrlii> VxD well i'm not stuck
<geekinpink> Sounds like you're calling her a penis-head
<karrlii> i can keep trying them out
<geekinpink> karrlii: you can keep trying them out?
#231 + (-5) - [X]
< malfunct> another thing to try is putting DSL on the hard drive and see
if that speeds it up enough to be as usable as win98
< cwells> usable as win98...
< Nihilist> You could set it on fire, that should make it as usable as

#232 + (-20) - [X]
< karrlii> my god i've completely superglued myself to myself
< rlangis> and yet you're still able to type

#233 + (-4) - [X]
< menion> So, if you found... ahem... Uh, compromising pictures, on
someones web gallery, of a coworker (and friends) underage
daughter... what is your obligation?
< shiruken> to masturbate to them

#234 + (-8) - [X]
16:30 < absolutejoe> Oh ... did they move it to Thursdays ... hmmm ... well,
that interferes with my dancing schedule ;-)
16:30 < jax0m> you dance?
16:30 * jax0m cringes
16:30 < jax0m> like, ballroom?
16:31 < mackstann> oh shit, i like dancing too then

#235 + (-33) - [X]
< lon> last person's head I held was very drunk, and naked in the shower
at my friend's party.
< lon> but I didn't love her. I just felt bad for her.
<@Weebs> pics?
<@Weebs> ok that was in bad taste
<@Weebs> so umm pics ?

#236 + (-19) - [X]
< cactus> i must cook sausage soon. gian kielbasa shall be mine.
< kraptv> Poor guy can't have the hotties eating it.
< cactus> yeah. it sucks having a girlfriend.
< cactus> you can't randomly hose around.

#237 + (-15) - [X]
< lispy> homeless girls give the best bj's because they're starving
< lispy> they'll eat anything
< fords> huh. i always went with the $5 prostitute on the grounds that
she gets quite a bit more practice.
< lispy> $5 prostitutes are good for anal, but i'd prefer a homeless girl
for a bj anyday

#238 + (-16) - [X]
<hemp> VxD, did you see the pictures of my new server closet? and how lonely it looks w/o a server rack?
<hemp> it's almost like looking at a small, wet puppy
<hemp> shivering in the cold
<hemp> no cover .... no heat ... no blankets ........
<hemp> sad puppy-dog eyes looking up at you ... hoping against hope that you'll take it in and cover it
<hemp> a slight, occasional whimper
<hemp> just enough to keep your attention
<hemp> not enough to be a nuisance
<hemp> oh VxD .... won't you rescue the poor little puppy?
<hemp> it doesn't ask much ... just a warm place to lay its tiny little head
<hemp> you don't even have to feed it if you don't want.... it can nibble on crumbs and hunt for scrawny mice .... maybe a spider or ant here and there..
<hemp> just a warm place to lay down
<hemp> won't you save the poor little puppy, VxD?
<hemp> won't you?
#239 + (-14) - [X]
-!- VxD changed the topic to: you can never have too many orgasms
<@shiruken> my motto
<@Weebs> I've had 7 since we started this conversation
<@shiruken> only 7?
<@shiruken> you gotta catch up
<@Weebs> I keep a hairdryer at my desk just for emergancies like these

#240 + (-11) - [X]
<@Weebs> I hear hemp takes shots in the mouth for rack mount equipment
<@shiruken> oh?
<@hemp> actually -- I just need the rack
* hemp is looking for a nice, big rack
<@hemp> something I can really sink my chassis into
<@shiruken> to unload your equipment in?
<@hemp> needs to be able to handle a big load
<@hemp> and be easily turned on when I need it
<@hemp> low maintenance, though. preferably self-cleaning
<@hemp> although I haven't seen many of those

#241 + (-13) - [X]
<@VxD> it's kinda stupid for me to be the only one submitting
<@shiruken> kinda like masturbation
<@Weebs> I've submitted some
<@Weebs> I won't submit my own quotes though....
<@VxD> and I'm sure a good many were approved
<@Weebs> so I have to rely on you people being funny
<@VxD> luckily we are pantloads full of funny
<@Weebs> which as we all know is like waiting for a nun to give you a
handjob during mass

#242 + (-10) - [X]
<@Weebs> girls making out is porn if it is in color
<@Weebs> girls making out in black and white is art

#243 + (-20) - [X]
< wilco> My wife's cow-orker, a Ms. Johnson, just had a child, 7 pounds
and some ounces. I cannot stop making jokes about having a 7-pound johnson.

#244 + (-16) - [X]
< menion_> Considering my weakend position, I am white, technically
inclined, and better looking than shiruken or cwells.
< shiruken> you got no chance at anything then
< cwells> you only look better cause of the porn facials you get
< cwells> keeps your skin young and girlish
< menion_> hahah
< menion_> You just tell yourself that because of your spectacular
failure at rapping.
< shiruken> it feels good when I feel bad about being a failed white rapper
< shiruken> to rub one out on menion_'s face
< shiruken> when I'm feeling blue, feel a little me on you...
< menion_> hahaha
< menion_> That is really nasty
< shiruken> menion_: c'mon, you know you love it
< shiruken> as long as cwells doesn't touch me, we can do a dual facial
on you
< shiruken> it'll be an early xmas present
< menion_> shiruken: What, now you don't let him touch? What are you a
< shiruken> I have to comply with all the state laws
< VxD> that's not what you said last night...
< shiruken> that's my lead in
< shiruken> to, for $100 more, I can forget what state I'm in

#245 + (-8) - [X]
< Baloo> Yay, the intermittant packet loss stopped again.
< rlangis> oh.
* rlangis puts his DDOS cron script back in action.

#246 + (-11) - [X]
cellarstella: [my cat] freaked me out today though...
cellarstella: he tried to lick my nipple
cellarstella: eeek!
HentaiJessOIT: hahaha
cygnus: cellarstella: reverse bestiality.
cellarstella: haha
cellarstella: my cat's a perv
cygnus: it's legal.
cygnus: if you consent.
cactus: did you rub peanut butter on it?
cellarstella: no
cactus: hmm.. cats are sensitive
cactus: must have sensed impending milk
cellarstella: yikes
cactus: o.O
HentaiJessOIT: Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, pussy eats YOU
#247 + (-25) - [X]
<Baloo> So how's everybody doing tonight?
*rlangis wrings his hands and cackles maniacally
<rlangis> *cough* Oh, fine.
<lispy> i'm okay
<lispy> had a few beers
<lispy> fantasized about the barmaid
<lispy> realized my gf was there
<lispy> decided it was best to come home :)
<rlangis> yeah, masturbation in public places is frowned upon
<lispy> and why is that?
*lispy mubles about the uptight bastards
<Baloo> lispy enjoys public masturbation?
*cwells has joined #orlug(n=cliff@c-24-20-13-118.hsd1.or.comcast.net)
<cwells> men's velour gstring
<Baloo> That was strangely appropriate.

#248 + (-1) - [X]
<Baloo> Ubuntu is for people who would rather not give back to the community. It's like for Debian developers who would rather be totally selfish about it.
<Baloo> Like Ubuntu telling their developers they're not allowed to contribute to Debian.
<aztek> Yeah well my mom doesn't do much software designing.
<Baloo> No, but that doesn't mean your mom should be supporting them in any way shape or form, either.
<Baloo> You wouldn't support someone who steals your car and claims it's theirs, would you?
<rlangis> my wife did that
<rlangis> my beuatiful red 850...*sigh*
<Baloo> rlangis: Technically, you sold your car for nookie, that's different.

#249 + (-8) - [X]
< Baloo> I get the feeling security here is underworked.
< Baloo> Just came back from a break in the parking lot, and I was
stading on the back of my truck to see down into the Vancouver
Mall parking lot.
< Baloo> Security rolls up, "Excuse me, would you mind getting down from
that truck, please? I'm sure the owner doesn't want you
climbing all over their vehicle."
< Baloo> "I think I speak with authority when I say the owner doesn't
give a damn."
< Baloo> "Why's that, sir?"
< HentaiJessOIT> LOL
< Baloo> I unlock the door.
< Baloo> "Oh, carry on, sir."
< HentaiJessOIT> *dies laughing*

#251 + (-8) - [X]
<Weebs[zof]> haven't seen that in a while
<Weebs[zof]> wait no, I think my internet cut out for a sec
*** Weebs quit (Read error: 110 (Connection timed out))
#252 + (13) - [X]
<kth5> Don't argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. :)
#253 + (-15) - [X]
* VxD wonders if DVD-RAM is the right format to clone a goat in
#254 + (-7) - [X]
< absolutejoe> Nice ... google's logo is in braille ... and the first
link, is to wikipedia ... which has one item in the trivia
area on Louis Braille ... that in 2006 Google honored
Braille by displaying their logo in braille ...

#255 + (14) - [X]
<HentaiJessOIT> If the universe was created by intelligent design, then why did the designer create so many dumb people?
<HentaiJessOIT> BILL SNOUFFER, Southwest Portland
#256 + (-5) - [X]
[NACHO] suckd you
[foxmajik_] The phrase you want is: "You suck."
[foxmajik_] Tu tienes: "You suck."
[NACHO] fuck you asjol
[foxmajik_] Nono, estoy "fuck you asshole."
[foxmajik_] See, en engles, "J" es "H"
#257 + (-12) - [X]
<@Weebs> cobol doesn't run on linux right?
<@VxD> your mom runs cobol
<@Weebs> thanks bastard
<@Weebs> so what distro is my mom?
<@VxD> slackware :)

#258 + (-11) - [X]
< cellarstella> someone come over and be my chauffeur
< VxD> are you saying you want to get a ride on my stickshift?
< cellarstella> on?
< VxD> on/in/up/over
< cellarstella> I guess if it gets me to the store
< VxD> It'll get you more than that
< cellarstella> sure, but all I'm asking for is to get to the store
< VxD> Think of it to be similar to the Cash Cab show, you get to leave
with a wad

#259 + (14) - [X]
< cwells> who needs viagra when you have duct tape?
#260 + (-18) - [X]
<@shiruken> hell, I bet your sister gets exploited less than IIS and ASP

#261 + (-15) - [X]
*Josh goes over to the meth lab next door and asks if they have any benadryl
#262 + (8) - [X]
<@hemp> big iron
<@Weebs> my iron is big
<@VxD> you are a nine iron in a three wood world...

#263 + (-5) - [X]
virtualdev: I'm about ready to call it quits for the day
virtualdev: I feel like poo and have been working since 6am
bykguy: me too
bykguy: yuck
bykguy: i taste like poo, i think i have you beat
virtualdevi: I'm feeling the poo that tastes like you!
bykguy: SWEET
virtualdev: poo fondling
bykguy: mmmm, so warm and squishy

#265 + (-5) - [X]
< cwells> I like it when people do stuff I like. I think I'm a lot like
other people in this respect.
< HentaiJessOIT> you mean like oral sex?
< cwells> that would be a start
< cwells> you offering?

#266 + (-7) - [X]
< tacodog> it's free vasectomy day here at planet argon
< tacodog> i got a message on my machine last night. wrong number (I hope) from some doctor's office confirming my vasectomy appointment today
#267 + (-9) - [X]
< noussquid> i had a guy who is now my husband do the nerdiest thing to my boob ever
< menion> Uh oh
< noussquid> he pressed on my nipple and said engage

#268 + (-9) - [X]
< jvoorhis> what is orlug?
< dgibbons> a irc channel
< jvoorhis> i saw :P
< dgibbons> it's the non lug affiliated oregon linux user group irc channel, it's never really linux related though
< dgibbons> lug-nostic? O.o
< dgibbons> It's like a blackhole in irc
< dgibbons> you put time in.. and you never see it again
< dgibbons> somehow the irc-gamma rays make you feel dumber too

#269 + (7) - [X]
< dooder> which reminds me that I took the 5th largest poo of my lifetime
a couple days ago
< cactus> sweet.
< dooder> I'm going to have to start taking pictures so I can have a wall
of fame
< VxD> yeah, it's bad when you have to flush mid-way
< dooder> this was a 3 flusher
< cactus> wowzers!
< VxD> amazing
< cactus> what did you eat?
< cactus> changs?
< VxD> a horse
< dooder> followed by a 30 min break followed by another 2 flusher
< cactus> damn skippy
< dooder> some sketchy mexian place in sherwood
< cactus> was it solid?
< VxD> I don't know how people go back for seconds at chang's
< dooder> most of it
< cactus> cuz runny doesn't cut it
< cactus> lol!
< cactus> runny doesn't cut
< cactus> awesome
< VxD> yes, only the solid 3 foot poo counts
< dooder> have I ever shared the story of the number 1 poo with you guys?
< cactus> yeah. the kind that look like it should be a crowd control rope outside a night club
< dooder> I almost had to be stiched up after giving birth to this thing
< cactus> story time!
< dooder> I was on codine and that makes you constapated. so I didn't poo for a little over 2 weeks
< dooder> it all came out as one giant poo.
< dooder> it broke physical parts of the toilet
< dooder> I thought for a while I was going to have to go to the hospital
or something. then I realized how much that would suck so I bit
down and went for it
< dooder> one solid poo that was probably around 15 inches long and 7-8 inches in diameter
< dooder> it was like being analy raped in reverse
< dooder> by a donkey
< cactus> omg!
< cactus> did it turn you gay for a week?
< dooder> no
< cactus> all I can say is "wow"
< cactus> just.. wow
< dooder> I should have taking a picture. It was almost out of the bowl

#270 + (-2) - [X]
< shiruken> only sysadmins can write good programs in scripting languages
#271 + (2) - [X]
< Baloo> I might be going to Vegas in August with my girlfriend
< geekinpink> for a few days
< geekinpink> Baloo, are you guys getting hitched up?
< Baloo> geekinpink: I wasn't planning on it
< cactus> if you are drunk and elvis shows up..
< cactus> shit might go down

#272 + (-1) - [X]
<VxD> too bad Coke doesn't have cocaine in it anymore
<cwells> um\
<narzy> yeah, but to be fair, it was really a pain in the ass to distill out the coke from coke...
<VxD> you didn't have to, just buy that 6 pack a day, suddenly all the chores in your house are done
<cwells> it was a real pain in the ass to smuggle cases of Coca Cola from south america wrapped in balloons up your ass
<cwells> that's what really stopped it
<cwells> the truckers union
<VxD> I don't think Coke has had coca in it since the 40's though
<cwells> it was also the beginning the the gay trucker
<VxD> a whole truckload up your ass?
<cwells> (this is VxD's favorite story)
<narzy> oh my gawd
<VxD> or just an 18 squealer
<cwells> haha
#273 + (-6) - [X]
<Weebs> we just saw an accident outside our office
<shiruken> wow
<hemp> you saw it happen?
<Weebs> yeah I saw it happen
<Weebs> I was looking through the window at a sales woman...
<shiruken> was she hot?
<hemp> she was before the car hit her
#274 + (20) - [X]
20:40 -!- vertex- [n=vertex@69-9-146-48.dsl.mind.net] has joined #orlug
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> OH THANK GOD
20:40 < vertex-> np
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> he did find it and brought it inside
20:40 < vertex-> sorry I'm late
20:40 < cactus> :)
20:40 < cactus> that's what she said..
20:40 < cactus> oh wait..
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> hahahahaha

#275 + (-25) - [X]
<cactus> I talked to some lady, that had such a hot voice, I wanted to push my wiener through the phone.

#276 + (-4) - [X]
< menion > Be a good worker, get all the experiance you can there. Always remember that no matter how pissed you can get at people, neve
r never never break the law and harm your employer
< menion > that will fuck you for life.
< menion > =)
< nihilist > do i look like Randal?
< menion > roflmao
< nihilist > pwned

#277 + (10) - [X]
<Baloo> LinuxWorld started with a fire drill today.
<Baloo> The Unisys booth had a server catch fire an hour into the convention
<HentaiJessOIT> OMG
<HentaiJessOIT> freaky
<HentaiJessOIT> i gotta shut a few computers down
<Baloo> Kayfox said "Heh, typical unisys"
<Angel_Bear> I thought Linux was the OS that was supposed to Not Suck.
<Baloo> Hey now.
<Baloo> The software was willing, but the hardware was weak and flammable.

#278 + (0) - [X]
< Sportbikerohni> I went up to my parent's house to store my trailer. I
locked myself out of my car
<@VxD> *grin*
<@VxD> and yet, you are able to use the internet...

#279 + (-14) - [X]
<VxD> mmm, I remember looking at pretty ascii girls in MUDDs over Gopher...those were the days
<VxD> that quickly dates me doesn't it
<hemp> no one dates you
<VxD> Mr. Hand
<hemp> except your poor, unfortunate wife
#280 + (-2) - [X]
<cactus> holy crap. that was weird..
<rlangis> you ain't kiddin
<cactus> I did a grep on a mounted cdrom..and lost my keyboard
<cactus> Then my mouse got sucked up..
<cactus> I had to plug in a usb drive..to get gnome to pop up a
<cactus> and then my mouse came back..
<cactus> and I could close my terminal..
<cactus> then my keyboard came back..
<cactus> wtf!? o.O

#281 + (-5) - [X]
<Baloo> Jeff's teaching himself how to wel.d
<Baloo> agilman and swoolley know who I'm talking about.
<lispy> shiruken: oh :(
* lispy teaching himself hydrokenesis
* lispy hurls a waterball at #orlug with only his mind
<lispy> *splash*
<jbooth> make: *** No rule to make target `umbrella'. Stop.
<VxD> oh my, and here I was wearing this white tshirt with no bra,
<shiruken> VxD: now I can't get that image out of my mind
<VxD> I know, I'm irrestible
<lispy> haha
<jbooth> rdfomh: password all wet

#282 + (-4) - [X]
<hemp> http://www.airtoons.com/toons.php?toon=9
<hemp> I can't tell if that's safe for work or not.... ?
<shiruken> no
<shiruken> you're going to get me in trouble hemp!
<shiruken> a giant penis on a cartoon character is not safe for work
#283 + (7) - [X]
01:41 < cwells> rlangis
01:41 < cwells> what's up?
01:42 < rlangis> not a whole hell of a lot
01:42 < cwells> you asked where i was
01:42 < cwells> here i am
01:42 < cwells> take your clothes off
01:42 * rlangis complies
01:43 < cwells> going to reboot in a minute tho
01:43 < cwells> so we'll have to hurry
01:43 < rlangis> heh
01:43 < cwells> cyber quickie
01:43 < rlangis> yeah baby
01:43 < cwells> poke poke
01:43 < cwells> grope grope
01:43 < cwells> pant pant
01:43 < cwells> unf
01:43 -!- cwells [n=cwells@c-24-22-58-161.hsd1.or.comcast.net] has quit

#284 + (-5) - [X]
<__cwells__> a box has four sides
<__cwells__> four straight sides
<fords> six.
<fords> unless you meant the other kind of box.
<shiruken> 5
<shiruken> you need a top hole
<fords> a five sided box would be impractical for moving
<fords> you'd have a beastly time stacking them in the truck
<shiruken> offset them
<__cwells__> a box has four sides and a top and a bottom
<__cwells__> sheesh
<shiruken> so the bottom corners are halfway at sides
<shiruken> i.e. the position of the box is offset of the one below it by 45 degrees
<fords> what would that be called, a pentahedron?
<__cwells__> the china supports the weight of the other boxes
<shiruken> fords: 2 boxes stacked
<shiruken> that's what it'd be called
<fords> shiruken: no, because stacking does not change the shape of the box
<shiruken> the shape of the box is never changed
<shiruken> the orientation of the box is
<shiruken> I made it gay
<shiruken> here's a simple exercise
<shiruken> get a box
<shiruken> position it so that a wall of the box
<shiruken> is facing you
<shiruken> flat
<shiruken> then move the box by 45 degrees to the right
<shiruken> so the pointy part is facing you directly
<shiruken> see, I don't change the shape of the box
<fords> now i bow sharply plunging that corner into my eyes?
<__cwells__> and to think people claim IRC is a waste of time

#286 + (35) - [X]
<shiruken> break in the back
<shiruken> like you normally do
<VxD> I thought you were hinting at brokeback for a second there
<dooder> VxD : that might be cool. I think i'll at least try and get the holes dug this weekend
#287 + (0) - [X]
< __cwells__> girls are all sass til you establish your roles
< __cwells__> consider shiruken
< __cwells__> he used to sass me all the time
< shiruken> then I fell in love with you
< __cwells__> now he just bites the pillow and cries softly to himself
< shiruken> and the way you grip my dick with your asshole
< __cwells__> those are pliers
< shiruken> and the lavendar lipstick you put on your mouth
* __cwells__ only uses shirukens dick to prop his ass in the air, like a jackstand
< __cwells__> see? like i'd wear lavender lipstick
< __cwells__> red only
< shiruken> :)
< __cwells__> you don't know shit
#288 + (17) - [X]
<Angel_Bear> I once did a Google search on "flesh eating bacteria".
<Angel_Bear> Sure enough, in the Google listings, I read "Flesh Eating Bacteria: Whatever you want, you can get it on eBay."

#289 + (-48) - [X]
16:02 < cwells> anyone in a police chase that isn't on a motorcycle isn't going to fair well
16:02 < cwells> although that one guy in the tank looked promising
16:03 < cwells> he at least made an impressino
16:03 < cwells> which is like, a small impression
16:04 < cwells> he seemed angry
16:04 < cwells> he tried to knock down an overpass by ramming the pillar
16:04 < cwells> although, i think it's safe to assume that if you hijack a tank and start running over cars you are probably angry about something
16:05 < shiruken> he was high on life
16:05 < cwells> or maybe he was just compensating for other... "shortcomings"
#290 + (-15) - [X]
< cwells> noussquid, you gonna take me on a date in your new ride?
< noussquid> sure :)
< cwells> sweet
< cwells> should i wear heels?
< noussquid> yes
* cwells clops around clumsily, falls into noussquid's jeep and gets taken advantage of
< shiruken> cwells: that's how you get pregnant
#291 + (0) - [X]
< teknotus> dgibbons: Does your work have the same NSFW principles as
other places?
< fords> and i thought the nsfw bit was a joke
< fords> (it's not)
< teknotus> VERY NSFW
< dgibbons> teknotus: meaning if no one saw it it didnt happen?
< WormRunner> depends on what kind of work you do
< rlangis> I suppose looking at stock sites would be NSFW if you were in
the porn industry

#293 + (-2) - [X]
<Klostrophobik> No, I just have a very low tollerance for alchol
<WormRunner> sounds like my sister. sniffing the cork is good enough
<shiruken> I so did not read that as "sniffing the cork"

#294 + (13) - [X]
<agilman> Im bidding on a dish network card reader
<agilman> so I will be able to get all channels for free like I used to
<shiruken> because you like to get sued?
<agilman> sued by whom?
<shiruken> dish or directv
<agilman> Im stealing from dish
<agilman> they need a warrant to check my house
<agilman> having a sattelite on your roof isn't proof alone
<shiruken> nah, the card reader is
<shiruken> it's proof enough
<agilman> you're such a pussy
<agilman> do you never park in handicap parking either?
<shiruken> only when I was driving the handicap van
<shiruken> go ahead, I know people who got sued :)
<agilman> or how about tasting stuff at winco?
*shiruken shrugs
<shiruken> go ahead
<Baloo> agilman: You park in handicapped spaces?
<agilman> I am, I hope I win the bidding
<agilman> Baloo: sometimes
<agilman> done that like 3 times
<Baloo> agilman: So... your handicap... is it mental?

#295 + (-2) - [X]
< glick> this channel is dead tonight
* rlangis looks up, pulls the bloody knife out of the channel, and
slinks off into the darkness

#296 + (10) - [X]
< cwells:#orlug> i like to sit at home and count my balls, over and over
#297 + (-6) - [X]
< geekinpink> damn! I was in the breakroom just now and this fat guy was
leaning down at the vending machine. I saw so much crack that I
think I saw a bit of upper thigh as well

#298 + (12) - [X]
<@Weebs> effing hell man if you're going to post a pic of yourself with a
naked chick at least make sure it's a good pic of a naked chick
<@hemp> exactly
<@VxD> totally
<@sab_> you pimp what you got, and thats as close as he got
<@VxD> some crazy Ashland Marti Gras
<@Weebs> seriously, my penis is trying to go inside my body now... canine style
<@VxD> ...
<@Weebs> it's like a tube of lipstick :*(

#299 + (-4) - [X]
sab> ok, after reading your ideas, I'll vouch for being a sissy...
* sab aint bunny hopping no magna any time soon
VxD> I'd totally pay to see that
sab> I didn't say HUMPING dude...HOPPING
sab> jeeze
VxD> man, what kind of perv do you take me for?
hemp> auto-erotic, apparently
#300 + (3) - [X]
< geekinpink> If a job keeps me too busy to interview then I don't want it
#301 + (0) - [X]
< fords> i know the feeling
< fords> i know it like a junkie knows junk
< IamLordV1ldemort> bbut fords , I just want to kow _why_ you put it in your arm and shoot it up?!!?!
< IamLordV1ldemort> huh?
< IamLordV1ldemort> Were you raised that way???
< IamLordV1ldemort> NO!
< fords> ...yes, actually, i was.
< shiruken> my dad said, "Son, you're 16 now. Time to tie off daddy's arm"
< fords> hahaha
< shiruken> which was good
< shiruken> it got me off of spoon and lighter duty
#302 + (0) - [X]
* lispy is hoping his internet potential gf will login to AIM
< Kool-Aid> e-galfriend!
< lispy> yeah
< lispy> she e-seduced me!
< lispy> and i want to e-jaculate all over her picture

#303 + (5) - [X]
< em0ry> the guy, i called him teh Kool-Aid Man
< em0ry> So i'm in the shower one summer morning with teh widnows open in
teh bathroom
< em0ry> and i hear them rustling upstairs
< em0ry> and i hear her half-hearted groans
< em0ry> and him yelling:
< em0ry> hense, Kool-Aid Man

#304 + (12) - [X]
< thumper^> VxD ruied me for other inter office gay lovers
< shiruken> inter-office gay loving
< shiruken> do they put the name of the next person on your back and drop
you off at the front desk?

#305 + (-2) - [X]
<baloo> http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/?cpg=48H
I might have to get one of these.
<baloo> I keep sleeping through my alarm clock
<CryptoMole> cool clock
<baloo> Yeah.
<kraptv> hi clock lover
<CryptoMole> wow cool geek toys here
<NotoriousOIT> mmmm....vibrating alarm cock....
<baloo> I like how my alarm clock gets progressively louder, but the tone sucks so I usually put it on the radio, and I like how I can adjust the snooze time, but the problem is it still gives up after 3 tries.
<NotoriousOIT> *CLOCK*

#306 + (-1) - [X]
<fords> i'm gonna get shocks on my bike's front wheel to bounce it four inches in the air repeatedly
<fords> then surely will i be macking it up.
<baloo> fords: The environmentally friendly pimp.

#307 + (1) - [X]
* cwells does the robot
* cwells switches up and does the "penis propeller"
* shiruken comes back from his meeting
<cwells> i knew that would bring you back

#308 + (-5) - [X]
VxD: I need a secretary
* cruiseoveride refers to them as sexitaires
hemp: VxD, An ugly, fat, balding male secretary is what you need
VxD: hemp: doesn't matter, couldn't see them under my desk
hemp: bu du, chi
#309 + (3) - [X]
< shiruken> yeah, you don't want zoosex
< shiruken> sure it sounds ok at first
< shiruken> then you draw the elephant
< shiruken> and the elephant doesn't stop when you cry
#310 + (-4) - [X]
cruiseoveride: have y'all watched that new bond movie
* hemp has not
cruiseoveride: dont bother
hemp: it's pretty much required viewing here
cruiseoveride: was an insult to Ian Fleming's work
hemp: All Bond movies must be watched - regardless
cruiseoveride: I was disgusted by it
hemp: are you sure you weren't .... shaken?
hemp: or were you ... stirred?
#311 + (9) - [X]
13:49 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, wats your name?
13:49 <@Ducbot> cruiseoveride: no idea
13:49 < cruiseoveride> VxD, how do i create alias for What to wat ?
13:50 <@VxD> well since that's not actually english, he isn't going to play
13:50 <@VxD> Ducbot: spell wat
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wat: swat what waft wait Walt want wart
watt at bat cat eat fat hat mat Nat oat pat rat sat tat vat wet
wit wot Wac wad wag wan war was wax way w at w-at
13:50 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, spell wats
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wats: swats whats wafts waits wants
warts watts Ats was bats cats eats fats hats lats mats oats
pats rats tats vats wets wits Wacs wads wags wars ways watt w
Ats w-Ats
13:50 <@VxD> mats oats pats rats!
13:51 < cruiseoveride> so it cant be aliased?
13:51 <@VxD> it could, but I don't want to
13:51 < cruiseoveride> common
13:51 <@VxD> I'd rather make you use english
13:53 < cruiseoveride> I'd rather make you use English
13:53 < cruiseoveride> Proper nouns are spelled with Capital Letters
13:53 <@VxD> that's nice there eh bloke?
13:54 <@VxD> I wonder what the Capitol of Letters would be named...
13:54 < cruiseoveride> you know what im getting at man
13:54 < cruiseoveride> How do you alias question key words like "Whats"
13:55 <@VxD> it is already built-in, contractions like "what's" and "who's"
13:55 < cruiseoveride> contraction != alias
13:56 <@VxD> why would I want an alias for "whats"
13:56 < cruiseoveride> wats?
13:56 < cruiseoveride> Its not ALL about YOU man
13:56 <@VxD> actually, in this case, it is
13:57 * cruiseoveride cries and tells the teacher
13:58 <@jasn> because typing that h is just sooo much work
14:02 < cruiseoveride> I just wanted him to be a little more *intelligent*
14:02 <@jasn> intelligent by using improper speach?
14:02 <@jasn> makes sense...

#312 + (-8) - [X]
16:47 < gleesond> fuck I just got hit by a car while riding my bike
16:48 < gleesond> I'm ok but that was lame
16:48 < dgibbons> gleesond: don't ride in traffic next timje and i wont hit you
16:49 < gleesond> LOL
16:53 < gleesond> All I was worried about was my laptop and it seems to be ok
16:59 < forkmaster> the medics come and he's like, "I know my leg is broken,
but can you check my laptop first?"
17:01 < dgibbons> hah
17:02 < gleesond> seriously thats what it was like!

#313 + (-20) - [X]
< dgibbons> 6 days til my birthday
< dgibbons> I didn't realize ours were so close
< dgibbons> doodserz
< agilman> 25 days til my brithday
< teknotus> dgibbons: I think I want to move soonish.
< forkmaster> 10 months until my birthday!
< forkmaster> I didn't realize we were all so close
* agilman will be turning 21
< forkmaster> all of our birthdays are within a year of each other!
< teknotus> forkmaster: Holy crap

#314 + (-18) - [X]
<@Weebs> I have a ups here that I can't get to work on XP
<@VxD> the sine wave isn't XP compatible?

#315 + (-12) - [X]
< CryptoMole> hey all whats news
< Cad> A method of communicating current events, or current events as a
< Krampus> See also: Huey Lewis

#316 + (-14) - [X]
< absolutejoe> I really enjoy filling out employment questionaires ...
< VxD> you should have it down to a science by now
< absolutejoe> I like questions like this:
< absolutejoe> Experience deploying IT, networking and voice
< VxD> I bought some IT at BestBuy once, but it didn't work out, they
wouldn't let me return it either
< absolutejoe> I deploy my voice over the network all the time ... and IT
usually works fine.
< VxD> I often deploy voice over cat3 whenever I answer the phone
< absolutejoe> I usually deply my voice OTA
< absolutejoe> deploy even
< VxD> wow, wireless technology!

#317 + (-11) - [X]
< Teknotus> Some mail arrived for you.
< Teknotus> It came from Texas.
< Teknotus> It feels like a birthday card, or something.
< Dgibbons> Weird!??! from who?
< Teknotus> Doesn't say
< Teknotus> the envelope has a pretty Hawaiian floral print.
< Teknotus> It doesn't have a postmark over the stamp
< Dgibbons> Can you breath in deeply near it and tell me if it smells like anthrax?

#318 + (-7) - [X]
VxD: two of my kids were conceved on reliable contraception
VxD: my wife is like a corn field
VxD: 00.01%
VxD: I should gamble
Weebs: maybe it was the other guy she was banging
#319 + (-12) - [X]
< VxD> man, are you STILL complaining?
< VxD> I left for a HALF HOUR
< VxD> came back to all of this
< VxD> you don't hear me complaining like this about my job
< VxD> nope, I'm totally happy to work late nights and be given
impossible deadlines
< VxD> nothing gives me greater joy
< VxD> especially the on-call, what a precious jewel that is!
< VxD> the OPPOTUNITY to talk to people at 2am!
< VxD> how anti-social people in IT have become, how wonderful it is that
I get to talk to people late a night, usually right up from a dead
< VxD> boy am I lucky
< VxD> even better now that they moved us off from that ritzy campus into
these call center cube farms
< VxD> don't want all that glitz going to our heads you know
< VxD> and there is always a cube available, due to smart planning, and
the lack of replacements when people leave
< VxD> can have my pick in the lay of the land, nothing makes me more
< VxD> alright, I've put in my page of scrollback about how wonderful my
job is, I'm done.
< shiruken> heh
< shiruken> quit bragging

#320 + (-4) - [X]
< thumper^^> buttseks?
< NotoriousOIT> who am i to decline an offer like that? now bend over.
this won't hurt a bit.
< thumper^^> eek!
< VxD> "You'll feel a little pressure"
< lispy> it's like when you're getting a prostate exam and you realize
your doctor has both hands on your shoulders
< thumper^^> lawz
< shiruken> "and what feels like the business end of mag lite violating you"

#321 + (-5) - [X]
< thumper^^> A mac is not a machine, it's a very expensive hardware key to OSX.
#322 + (0) - [X]
< lokkju_wrk_> these Mormons (a nice young couple - boy and girl, around
19) always came around in the late morning, once per week,
to all the houses. Well, my friend works nights, and had
just gotten up, and was about to get in the shower...
well hung over and not thinking very well - he heard a
knock and went to answer the door... This nice couple
looked at him, the girl yelled pervert, and they never did
come back... you see, he was only wearing a sock -
< lokkju_wrk_> and it was on his foot

#323 + (7) - [X]
< fords> this week blows
< IamLordV1ldemort> fords: But does it swallow?
< fords> IamLordV1ldemort: only if you let it put it in your behind
#324 + (-12) - [X]
< whitenoyce> sex is like eating KFC once ur done nibbling on the breast
& thighs u have a nice greasy box 2 put ur bones in
< fords> crass, but i suppose some people could identify with it.
< NotoriousOIT> oh god, now i'm really hungry

#325 + (-10) - [X]
< NotoriousOIT> orlug is about fun, friendship, and that slightly dirty
feeling you get after being felt up in a dark alley by a
dirty old man who paid you $20

#326 + (-6) - [X]
Weebs: I only read books on tape
hemp: +1
hemp: actually .. I also read books in movie form
Weebs: i makes porn more fun
VxD: you do?
hemp: don't you?
#327 + (-10) - [X]
<@VxD> I say do her
<@Weebs> that's your answer for everything
<@Weebs> "my router doesn't work"
<@Weebs> "dick the uplink port"
#328 + (-6) - [X]
<@VxD> I wonder if a cockring could be considered "band" "width"
#329 + (-4) - [X]
< NotoriousOIT> mmm bacon
< fords> i mean, i do love bacon.
< NotoriousOIT> who DOESN'T?
< VxD> it doesn't love me
< fords> yaweh
< fords> but i'm dead on my feet already. do i have time for bacon?
< NotoriousOIT> it's like concentrated deliciousness
< NotoriousOIT> true, cooking bacon is not recommended when you're
< fords> i'm not THAT exhausted, but even still. that's work.
< fords> i dunno. i think i am gonna do it.
< NotoriousOIT> it's not recommended to cook bacon in the nude either
< fords> strike 2!
< NotoriousOIT> you only need to make THAT mistake once
< VxD> grease burned nipples
< NotoriousOIT> that's exactly what happened
< NotoriousOIT> and it HURT
< VxD> you might say...crispy nipples
< NotoriousOIT> ow.
< VxD> KFC Crispy Nipples! bet you can't eat just one!
< fords> NotoriousOIT: i don't spend much time thinking about your
nipples, but you've just brought to the front of my mind that particular image.
< VxD> I could see them selling in a two-pack
< fords> ...with strips of bacon tastefully draped across them.
< VxD> ( . ) ( . )
< VxD> Baconini is the latest swimwear rage!
< NotoriousOIT> hahaha
< fords> goddamnit! this flexible ice shit thaws in an hour, and takes
two hours to freeze
< NotoriousOIT> that particular comment needs pics
< VxD> you could go canadian bacon for the boobs
< fords> no, regular bacon.
< fords> hands down.
< VxD> then a strip bacon g-string
< VxD> talk about edible underwear!
#330 + (6) - [X]
< fords> Nihilist: you seen that one with the squid?
< Nihilist> I'm not sure
< fords> maybe it was an octopus
< Nihilist> fords: was that the same one with the chicken?
< fords> Nihilist: only if what i saw was part of a longer version
< cwells> so was the chicken fucking the octopus or vice versa?
< cwells> i've always wanted to ask that question
< Nihilist> someone who looked like cwells was fucking the chicken, but the eel was in the girl
< fords> cwells, you chickenfucker.
< cwells> i don't think i'd want to fuck a girl with an eel in her. maybe that's why i fucked the chicken...
< cwells> i dunno, it was all a blur
< fords> well, was the chicken happy, at least?
#331 + (-2) - [X]
< cwells> at least now we know why the chicken crossed the road
< fords> to stay the fuck (literally) away from you?
< cwells> to be in tentacle porn!
#332 + (-1) - [X]
<hemp> We had a guy apply for our QA position who has multiple sniper certifications from the Army, I think .. can't remember which branch
<hemp> He was also a martial arts instructor
<hemp> for the Army
<hemp> He asked me during the interview, "am I making you nervous?" ('cause we were talking about all his combat stuff). I said, "no, I've played a lot of Halo."
#333 + (2) - [X]
<@shiruken> well, look at Ben and I
<@shiruken> that's what you're headed for if you get married
<@shiruken> 3 kids and tricking 20 year olds into giving you their trash for no money
<@Nihilist> i hate you
#334 + (-7) - [X]
Slunkj> I hate how people figured out how to use texts and transitions in Microsoft Movie Maker and decide to dub themselves Producers and use the text assuming we care what they think about ah, periods

Nihilist > i have no idea wtf you're talking about, you're on your period?
#335 + (-14) - [X]
<@hemp> Think Rambo would be a good V-Day movie?
<@hemp> :)
<@VxD> hemp: if you like gay porn, sure
<@inertia> heh. does your wife like Rambo?
<@hemp> inertia, I highly doubt it
* inertia doesn't
<@inertia> I have never even sat through one entire Rambo movie I cant stand boxing.
<@inertia> or is that rocky? whatever.
<@VxD> hahahahahahahahahahah
<@VxD> oh shit that's good
<@inertia> are they both sylvester stallone? he is really the one I cant deal with...
#336 + (-3) - [X]
CliffWells > are those tabs?

David GIbbons > textmate defaults to tabs..

CliffWells > EVER
CliffWells > FUCKER

David GIbbons > I love you

#337 + (7) - [X]
< cactus> emo birthday cakes are the best
< cactus> they cut themselves

#338 + (1) - [X]
< slid3r> hehe when we saw that commercial on tv .. my gf was like 'thats dumb' but I could totaly relate
< slid3r> it is a weird feeling
< slid3r> altho my car was never stolen, other stuff was
< shiruken> like your virginity
< slid3r> *sobb* I was only 28 when it happened
< slid3r> (so not ready)
< shiruken> the beard tickled the back of your neck?
< slid3r> yes, I begged helga to shave, but being european .. she refused
< shiruken> damn euros
< slid3r> word
< shiruken> and her armpit beard
< slid3r> surprisingly clean smelling tho
< slid3r> which is odd for a woman of 300 pounds
#339 + (12) - [X]
<@VxD> hell, I'll sell you all kinds of girl scout cookies
<@VxD> I have three girls selling this year
<@VxD> sheesh
<@Nihilist> geez
<@hemp> ya, but are you offering remote rendevouz with your wife?
<@Nihilist> yeah can i get some double stuffyourwife cookies?
<@hemp> haha
#340 + (5) - [X]
< Rev_Slid3r> I just now noticing a date error on the scheduling too
< VxD> did your system stand you up on the date?
< Rev_Slid3r> yes
< Rev_Slid3r> left me holding a floppy
#341 + (-4) - [X]
< muffaleta> jesus
< muffaleta> we just got an itanium machine
< muffaleta> as a practical joke
< muffaleta> Nihilist you are an asshole.

.. time passes..

< muffaleta> I got my yellow phone!
< muffaleta> (not the big button yet)
< Nihilist> does it run on itanium?
< muffaleta> fuck you.
#342 + (-1) - [X]
thumper^: Jesus and I love you.
NotoriousOIT: so that's why my ass hurts this morning
#343 + (6) - [X]
NotoriousOIT: haha, i'm talking to some friends about how I had an HPV scare in college
NotoriousOIT: i had an abnormal pap, had to go in for a colposcopy and a cervical biopsy
NotoriousOIT: turned out negative, but it was still scary as hell trying to figure out where the fuck i could've picked up the cunt-plague
#344 + (17) - [X]
* skye waits very impatiently for Duke Nuke'em Forever
< moxious> don't hold your breath
<@rlangis> we've all been holding our breath since '96
< moxious> and somehow you're still alive :\
<@rlangis> I cheated
<@rlangis> I took a breath every time they announced a delay
< sporkie> lol
< skye> roflmfao
#345 + (-2) - [X]
14:54 < thumper^> I live on the small horse ranch I work on.
14:54 < kraptv> what do you do to the horses?
14:54 < kraptv> and how do you keep them small?

#346 + (-5) - [X]
* lon_home is psyched that the VFR broke him of being afraid to work on bikes
<@shiruken> you shouldn't be afraid of a bike
<@shiruken> a bike should be afraid of you
* Weebs agrees with shiruken
<@Weebs> next time strip a couple head bolts and show the bike who's boss!
<@VxD> head bolt strippers
<@hemp> baby... you can strip my head bolt anytime
#347 + (-8) - [X]
Keiku: lol
Keiku: i just hacked some noob that uses a mac :P what a d-bag
WaveFox: o.O
Keiku: heya Wavee
WaveFox: Yeah, that's not the best of things to boast about
Keiku: im sorry but i just rlly hate macs
WaveFox: Why?
Keiku: iunno
WaveFox: Oh nice. I love a reasoned arguement
Keiku: they have great software but they function like a fat guy after a hotdog eating contest
NotoriousOIT: flawed logic AND insults. WHY aren't you married yet?
Keiku: because im not old enough
WaveFox: Well, that's not obvious
***Keiku coughs
NotoriousOIT: true, they frown upon people marrying kindergartners
#348 + (0) - [X]
< Daehlie> the corporate world is like a knife fight, you muscle out some
turf without gettings hurt too bad, and then you protect it with your life
#349 + (-7) - [X]
< kronq_> Oh shit -- some has hijacked my baby
< kronq_> I need to scrape together $50k
< dgibbons> man, for 50k, you can just make another one
< pud> oh much cheaper
< dgibbons> 25k and i'll make you one
#350 + (-12) - [X]
<@lon_home> I'm going to copyright parting lips. That way I can sue anyone who teaches someone to talk.
#351 + (-2) - [X]
< DanKReeK> is english a strictly typed language?
< VxD> only when you use strict;

#352 + (-17) - [X]
< VxD> linux desktop at work just ate a disk
< VxD> unable to read inode block
< VxD> bleh!
< dlab> oh, fun
< DanKReeK> eghhwho needs inodes?
< GreySim> Apple?
#353 + (9) - [X]
< vtpark> I am watching some sort of fetish tv show on Virgin 1.
< VxD> mmm, virgin fetishes!
< vtpark> they are on dungeon fetishes right now
< vtpark> I kind of tolerate commercials more because I don't feel like a
target demographic anymore.
< VxD> after the sex change your whole buying pattern doesn't fit in the
box huh?
#354 + (5) - [X]
< VxD> yeah, I used BitchX for years, until someone finally convinced me to switch to irssi
< Wraithan> VxD: try weechat
< Wraithan> it is nice :D
< VxD> does it give me a big e-penis?
< Wraithan> yeah
< VxD> woot! 8========================D
< Wraithan> increase by at least 50%!

#355 + (-9) - [X]
VxD: 13:37 <@NewdleBot> VxD, the Pervert of the Clowns, has attained level 42! Next
VxD: level in 3 days, 12:56:04.
hemp: VxD is the Clown Prince of Perversia
#356 + (-12) - [X]
11:48 < rlangis> Ima have LOTS of time to game now
11:48 < rlangis> or code, or otherwise better myself :)
11:49 < VxD> and by that you mean jo
11:50 < rlangis> of course.
11:50 < rlangis> every chance I get, just like a monkey
11:50 < GiR> Hmm.. the scary monkey
11:50 < VxD> puuurrrfect gir

#357 + (-2) - [X]
< fords> i once had a drunk makeout with my mom.
< fords> err, *your mom
#358 + (-4) - [X]
< dgibbons> Weebs: so when you going to see your new digs?
< dgibbons> basement or bedroom!
<@Weebs> :( dunno. Seriously the idea of moving is like a fat chick in a g-string to me
< dgibbons> cmon you pussy
<@newtMcKerr> so Weebs you must be pretty excited then

#359 + (-2) - [X]
tacodog40k: what's new wif you?
IamLordV1ldemort: What's your email, personal email?
IamLordV1ldemort: I will send you a boxee invite.
IamLordV1ldemort: oh, i joined Facebook
IamLordV1ldemort: *sigh*
IamLordV1ldemort: Too much family there.
tacodog40k: hah
tacodog40k: i saw that. i don't have a facebook account and your request made me wonder if i should set one up.
IamLordV1ldemort: Oh fuckign hell
tacodog40k: xxxXxxx@yahoo.com
IamLordV1ldemort: FUCK FUCK FUCK
IamLordV1ldemort: yeah
tacodog40k: !
IamLordV1ldemort: So
IamLordV1ldemort: I clicked to upload my contact list, and it seemed to hang, so I cliked ggain
IamLordV1ldemort: Fuckin thing somehow took both events (eventually) and fucking
IamLordV1ldemort: FUCK
IamLordV1ldemort: sent out email to my whole fucking contact list =(
tacodog40k: hahah
tacodog40k: sorry
IamLordV1ldemort: LKML, Python List, 3 gentoo Lists, Dell Hardware, etc, etc,
etc, etc Linux-Net the list goes on.
IamLordV1ldemort: OMG
tacodog40k: holy cow
tacodog40k: hahaha
IamLordV1ldemort: ~1m people.
tacodog40k: holy
tacodog40k: ahahhaahah
IamLordV1ldemort: Yeha
IamLordV1ldemort: so
tacodog40k: *wipes away tears*
tacodog40k: i'm laughing so hard, i scared the dogs
#360 + (-10) - [X]
<@dgibbons> So I think i'm going to be single shortly.
<@inertia> ugh
<@inertia> by choice?
<@dgibbons> sorta?
<@Weebs> is this why you're trying to get the shotgun to work?
<@dgibbons> hahahah
#361 + (-4) - [X]
< whodevil> I need to start experimenting with virtualization
< VxD> I'm virtualizing my pants
< whodevil> yeah well...
< VxD> everyone says the ESX pants are the bomb, but HR at work doesn't think so
< Daehlie> they are still working out the kinks in virtual pants
< Daehlie> namely the indecent exposure
< VxD> they need rotating virtual pants
< VxD> where the pants are used in more of a distributed model
< VxD> everyone shares the pants on a private network, getting time
shared in milliseconds per person, so it appears that everyone is
actually wearing pants, but it is cycling faster than you can
actually see at 30 fps
< VxD> thus one pair of pants can be used between up to 5 persons without
noticiable delay exposure
< dgibbons> hah
< dgibbons> "noticiable"
< dgibbons> what if there's "downtime" for one person who has to pee?
< VxD> they can be taken out of cluster rotation while in the stall
< VxD> after submitting form A342938-D in writing
< Daehlie> in tripicate
#362 + (-11) - [X]
sabotage: I'm lucky to have my bike and space in my wifes bed ;)
Weebs: me too!
#363 + (-9) - [X]
< whodevil> no
< whodevil> no
< whodevil> sexualized children
< whodevil> naked

#364 + (7) - [X]
*** Weebs has signed off IRC ().
VxD: oh noes, he died!
hemp: there is another
*** Weebs has joined #sportbikesnw.
#365 + (0) - [X]
Weebs: what has 4 eyes and only 1 eyebrow?
hemp: your mom?
newtMcKerr: no way dude, his mom only has 1 eye and 1 eybrow
VxD: newtMcKerr: you had her upside down
#366 + (-10) - [X]
-!- Wraithan is now known as Wr__th_n
< NotoriousOIT> Wr__th_n: did you just have an involuntary vowel movement?
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: Sometimes vowel movements just happen, and you can't stop them =/
< NotoriousOIT> I hear that happens to lots of guys.
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: it was exlosive... i think my vowels were destroyed.
#367 + (-1) - [X]
DanKreek: So how did you manage to pick up an auxiliary boyfriend?
NotoriousOIT: quite by accident, i assure you
NotoriousOIT: i left the manhole cover off my vagina and he fell in
#368 + (-7) - [X]
< Rev_Slid3r> so I was getting a bagel at the coffee shop this morning,
and it was $1.35, so I reached in my pocket and pulled out
the change to get the .35 ... the girl is like "some one
hasnt been doing laundry" because I had like 2 bucks in
change ... I was like "um no ... I own a washing machine"
... I could tell that was something she hadn't considered
#369 + (-18) - [X]
< stackcats> winblows
< stackcats> I just deleted my bosses thunderbird folders
< stackcats> whups
< stackcats> just think of the time you'll save not reading those e-mails
< stackcats> last time she comes over here for tech support
< stackcats> hire an IT guy fer godssake
#370 + (-2) - [X]
< cjdaniel> Cock solves everything

#371 + (13) - [X]
<@Weebs> for the past 2-3 years I've been getting emails from a golfball company
<@Weebs> today's topic was "Personalizing your balls: How to make them yours, how to make them know their yours in a group"
<@Weebs> I greatly enjoyed the laugh I got out of it
#372 + (-2) - [X]
< agilman> not sure why white americans like Japanese girls so much
< agilman> there are like 30 of them in the Broadway building
< stackcats> um, really?
< agilman> yeah, I don't see the appeal
< marxu> agilman: me neither! they're too skinny and meek
< VxD> exactly, give me moar
< kraptv> agilman: it's not just white americans.
< agilman> white people in general?
< kraptv> agilman: part of the allure is the fact they are extremely cute, and have a fabled "fantasticly tight vagina"
< kraptv> which the white man would have a fascination with
< kraptv> and your silence means that you, too, are now fascinated with the Japanese woman.
#373 + (4) - [X]
< the-wes> is there a way I can tell if I'm inside of Screen from the command line?
< Wraithan> the-wes: echo $TERM
< marxu> what Wraithan said ^
< cjdaniel> What marxu said ^
< Rev_Slid3r> yup ^
< marxu> we are a conga line of RIGHT

#374 + (-2) - [X]
< dgibbons> mmm
< dgibbons> man, the Five Guys burgers in westlinn, so tasty
< stackcats> I could eat five guys right now
< dgibbons> I was careful on how i articulated that statement :P
< VxD> boy those five guys are so popular anymore, everyone eating them
< VxD> there's one on Cedar Hills, haven't tried them yet
< thumper^> I have heard of them but never been
< thumper^> I hear their burgers are good.
< dgibbons> I really enjoy them
< dgibbons> so tasty
#375 + (4) - [X]
< teknotus> Also donuts.
< teknotus> But if no one is comming I'll take them with me when I leave.
< teknotus> I just sneezed with a mouthfull of coffee. I'm guessing no one else will want donuts now.
#376 + (-7) - [X]
* hemp just said to my microwave burritos: "Dude, totally uncool to blow your wad before I get a chance to eat you"
#377 + (-10) - [X]
< shiruken> reckless and smart
< stackcats> like a laser plane
#378 + (-4) - [X]
<charlieS> google images fails on 'dingo penis' FWIW
#379 + (-5) - [X]
<@Weebs> I think facebook knows I've been single too long
<@Weebs> Recommended Pages
<@Weebs> Playboy
<@Weebs> 2,178,833 people like this.
<@Weebs> Like
<@newtMcKerr> Like
<@Weebs> hehe
<@VxD> Like
#380 + (5) - [X]
<@VxD> just grow a low hedge on two sides
<@VxD> solved
<@Weebs> also works for spicing up life in the bedroom
#381 + (-8) - [X]
Daehlie> they have to disable it for their performance benchmarks to hit those 400MB/s numbers
cwells> wtf
cwells> i'm trying to figure out how you are on IRC when you clearly don't even have internet
cwells> btrfs currently outperforms on all benchmarks except for database access
Daehlie> source?

#382 + (10) - [X]
<@Weebs> I have a trailer you can use
<@Weebs> and your girlfriend has a truck
<@Weebs> you're set
<@dgibbons> my gf doesn't have a truck
<@hemp> what Weebs meant was, he will use your girlfriend while your gone
<@VxD> well, Weebs has a truck, sounds like a fair rental trade
#383 + (-19) - [X]
<@Weebs> http://verydemotivational.com/2010/08/27/demotivational-posters-borked/
<@VxD> bork bork bork bork
<@VxD> that's pretty messed up
<@Weebs> that's how my hand feels right now lol
<@VxD> too much jacking off?
<@Weebs> actually no
<@Weebs> I've got a girlfriend
<@VxD> too much jacking him off?
#384 + (-9) - [X]
<@charlieS> it's not cool, really.. we have 128GB of RAM so the DB can
keep the working set in memory, else the whole app eats its
fucking shit
<@hemp> ya, that's not cool - unless of course it was intended to be an
in-memory database; there are a few
<@hemp> generally not well regarded, but there's an idiot for every db
<@charlieS> yeah, no. It was just explosive growth and poor planning.
<@hemp> that's what she said
#385 + (-9) - [X]
<@Weebs> brandon is totally my gay buddy
<@Weebs> in high schoool girls would ask me if he was gay
<@VxD> funny, everyone thought I was until I got married
<@Weebs> did you make out with dudes?
<@VxD> not that I recall
<@hemp> you never kissed your dad?
<@VxD> never with tounge
<@VxD> I think that's what counts
<@VxD> wow, just grossed myself out a little there
<@Weebs> yeah it's not gay if you don't use your tounge
#386 + (-30) - [X]
<@VxD> I wonder what it's like to have a job you want...
<@hemp> I'm sure a lot of people want your job
<@hemp> just pretend you're one of them
#387 + (-10) - [X]
<@Weebs> some random russian dude just posted on a youtube video I've had up since jan 1 2009
<@Weebs> all he said was "whore"
<@newtMcKerr> awesome
<@Weebs> inertia isn't here so I can say this
<@Weebs> The random russian dude was right!
#388 + (-4) - [X]
<Ryvius> woow, Brink is retarded. it doesn't support my resolution
<VxD> o/~ you say you wanna resolussssshhhhhhuuuunnnn wellllll you know, you can't have it all the time o/~
#389 + (-3) - [X]
<Weebs> went out with my new sales girl who I think might have been a stripper last night
<Weebs> interesting evening
<VxD> I guess she is selling more than you thought! :)
#390 + (-5) - [X]
<@Weebs> boners are like a divining rod for boobies

#391 + (4) - [X]
< fords> i 'unno, i'm not hip to this level of piracy. first time i've done it. i'm a pirate virgin.
< the-wes> we're not copying VHS here
< the-wes> this is digital data
< the-wes> the 1s and 0s don't magically disappear when you upload
#392 + (-7) - [X]
< cjdaniel> 60% Off Hypnosis
< VxD> cjdaniel: that's just what they want you to believe

#393 + (-12) - [X]
13:08 < dgibbons> anyone want a rototiller I couldn't get running?

<time passes>

07:54 <@Weebs> what have you tried on the tiller?
09:07 <@VxD> what have you not tried on the tiller?
09:07 <@VxD> How has the tiller changed your view on the world?
09:08 <@VxD> If you were a tiller, what color would you be?
09:08 <@VxD> When presented with two tillers, how would you choose the right one?
09:08 <@Weebs> if the tiller could use one word to decribe you what would it be
09:09 <@VxD> Have you ever had a conflict you couldn't resolve with a tiller? If so, what steps did you take to escalate the issue?
09:10 <@Weebs> where do you see the tiller being in 5 years?
09:10 <@VxD> If asked to map out a lifecycle roadmap on tiller management, where would you begin?
09:11 <@Weebs> if you were to ask the tiller's last supervisor to provide it additional training or exposure, what would he/she suggest?
09:11 <@VxD> Where do you feel the tiller falls in the ITIL incident management process?
09:12 <@Weebs> If the tiller could pick one superhero power what would it be and why?
09:12 <@VxD> If you were managing a group of tillers, would you make one tiller a lead to lessen your load? How would you enable that tiller?
09:13 <@Weebs> if the tiller had to get rid of one state in the US which one would it be and why?
09:13 <@VxD> If you were asked to help a tiller tie it's shoes by using words only, how would you proceed?
09:14 <@Weebs> What would the tiller's previous coworkers say about it?
09:14 <@VxD> What would your tiller sucession plan look like?
09:15 <@Weebs> Is there anyone the tiller just could not work with?
09:16 <@VxD> List out the tiller's prior roles in order and give a brief description on what the tiller liked about the job, why it took it, and why it left.
09:16 <@Weebs> Tell me why I should hire your tiller
09:16 < dgibbons> wow
09:17 <@VxD> Is there anything outside of work that you feel I should know about your tiller?
09:17 < dgibbons> anyways, I had a buddy come over with motivation and he cleaned it a bunch
09:17 < dgibbons> thats it
09:17 <@Weebs> jeez no wonder dgibbons never sells anything... he doesn't answer any questions!

#394 + (-6) - [X]
< Zolotkey> Hmm interesting a recruiter called about a sysadmin job because she found my resume on dice :o
< Zolotkey> Direct to Hire :o
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: You must have tiny hands.
< Zolotkey> why do you say that?
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: If you had average-sized hands, how would you ever write your resume on something as small as dice?
< cjdaniel> hahaha

#395 + (-6) - [X]
<@hemp> S*N*O*W
<@Weebs> i'm jealous :( someone send me a picture of what it looks like
< VxD> it looks white and sparkly
< VxD> * . *
< VxD> . _\/ \/_ .
< VxD> \ \ / /
< VxD> .. .. -==>: X :<==-
< VxD> '\ /' / _/ \_ \
< VxD> \\// ' /\ /\ '
< VxD> _. __\\\///__._ * ' *
< VxD> ' ///\\\ '
< VxD> //\\
< VxD> ./ \.
< VxD> '' ''
< VxD> there, took you a picture
<@Weebs> some days I hate you
#396 + (-6) - [X]
< marx> it's the 'sales and marketing kick off week' here at work
< marx> "S&M kickoff week"
< thumper^> You hiring? Do I need my own gear?
< thumper^> I have a crop and some karate belts.
< marx> hah, there are actually quite a few openings
< cjdaniel> that's what she said
#397 + (-6) - [X]
<Zolotkey> I wonder if windows people try to show their expenses by stating they prefer Pro over Ultimate or 95 vs 98, etc..
<Zolotkey> *e-Penis's
VxD> haha, that would be amazing
<VxD> "Yeah, well I built it myself from scratch, this Windows ME machine. Most people don't like this distro but I like showing my e-peen that I can make it do anything that their fancy Windows 7 can..."
<VxD> "Had to compile my drivers from scratch in C# since no one makes drivers for Win ME. Runs so much faster than pre-compiled packages..."
<marx> hahahahah, dying
<VxD> "I'm still running Windows 3.11, if it was good enough for my dad, it's good enough for me. Had to hack up a way to make it dial to my other computer over serial to get internet access but it works great now."
#398 + (33) - [X]
< Ryphecha> I think I need to put diapers on my portable AC.
< cjdaniel> no!
< cjdaniel> redirect the flow to drip on the exterior condensor for increased efficiency
< cjdaniel> *condenser?
< Ryphecha> I think it already does something like that
< Ryphecha> I cleaned out the air filter and turned the inside-blowy fan to max, hopefully that'll reduce the condensation rate.
< kraptv> yeah, it should drip outside, not inside.
< kraptv> is it angled with the bottom sticking more outward than the top?
< Ryphecha> Also a spider is now crawling all over the AC, I'm not sure if that's helping or not.
< kraptv> it should be.
< kraptv> (angle the bottom so the water flows outside the house, not inside.
< Ryphecha> Kinda hard to do that in a bedroom with a single window far from the floor. :p
< Ryphecha> Unless I drill a huge hole through the wall, hmm...
< kraptv> well beefalo boings.
< cjdaniel> Time to get a drip pan and a dog then.
< Ryphecha> I fill the pan with water for the dog's thirst and let the dog lick me constantly to benefit from evaporative cooling?
< Ryphecha> I think that would require more than one dog to be effective.
< VxD> Clustered Dog Lick Cooling System (tm)
< cjdaniel> Ryphecha: haha, I was thinking the dog could drink from the pan, thereby eliminating the need to empty it :-P
< cjdaniel> Dogs are not easily configured to lick constantly anyway
< cjdaniel> Prerequisite peanut butter or similar body cover is called for, which then reduces potential cooling benefits to the point of the whole endeavour being useless

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