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#289 + (-49) - [X]
16:02 < cwells> anyone in a police chase that isn't on a motorcycle isn't going to fair well
16:02 < cwells> although that one guy in the tank looked promising
16:03 < cwells> he at least made an impressino
16:03 < cwells> which is like, a small impression
16:04 < cwells> he seemed angry
16:04 < cwells> he tried to knock down an overpass by ramming the pillar
16:04 < cwells> although, i think it's safe to assume that if you hijack a tank and start running over cars you are probably angry about something
16:05 < shiruken> he was high on life
16:05 < cwells> or maybe he was just compensating for other... "shortcomings"
#155 + (-44) - [X]
06:12 < thumper^> linux is the festering shit that spoils the minds of today's geek youth

#142 + (-39) - [X]
< pr0kfried> i think it's funny that apache's spelling module is called mod_spel
< pr0kfried> sorry, mod_speling
< VxD> pr0kfried: typo you!
< pr0kfried> type, not mis-spelling
< VxD> pr0kfried: A LIKELY STORY!

#61 + (-35) - [X]
< karrlii> i'm buying this couch this weekend
< karrlii> http://www.dwr.com/productdetail.cfm?id=5226
< karrlii> just so everyone knows
< VxD> man you are always buying something
< VxD> I bought something last night...at dollar tree
< karrlii> it's sexy!
< pr0kfried> that just looks uncomfortable
< karrlii> haha it does not!
< karrlii> it gives lots of snuggle room
< VxD> that's a lot of money for a twin bed with a roll pillow
< pr0kfried> translation: we can do it on the couch A LOT
< Nihilist> agreed
< VxD> when modern goes too far...
< Nihilist> I've got this.. artisitc.. old fridge that brok... is art..
i'll sell you for $1500... it even comes with smells!

#235 + (-32) - [X]
< lon> last person's head I held was very drunk, and naked in the shower
at my friend's party.
< lon> but I didn't love her. I just felt bad for her.
<@Weebs> pics?
<@Weebs> ok that was in bad taste
<@Weebs> so umm pics ?

#12 + (-31) - [X]
<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick
#386 + (-30) - [X]
<@VxD> I wonder what it's like to have a job you want...
<@hemp> I'm sure a lot of people want your job
<@hemp> just pretend you're one of them
#188 + (-29) - [X]
< lispy> dooder: that's right, i'm here to build a new america
< lispy> vote for me in 2008 or become a slave in the new republic of
america
< lispy> Republic of American People Everywhere, or RAPE for short
< lispy> then we'll make third world countries our slaves
< lispy> i'm sure it will be quite popular
< lispy> join us in our philosophy of RAPE

#64 + (-26) - [X]
< rlangis> damn, I'm bored. even rejoined #seattle on efnet but no cure
for my boredom there either
< lispy> rlangis: i think that's what hookers are for
< rlangis> lispy: I'll have to look into getting me one of those
* lispy puts on his fish net stalking
< lispy> oh really?
< rlangis> not a fake one
< lispy> what makes you think i'm a fake?

#123 + (-26) - [X]
<hearing_aid_with_attitude>immad
<baloo>hearing_aid_with_attitude: Turn up your hearing aid, then.
<hearing_aid_with_attitude>WHAT
<PenitentThingy>TURN UP YOUR HEARING AID
- --PenitentThingy has left the chat (Kicked by G4|CyBot. Reason: All caps is like YELLING. When you come back, turn off CAPS LOCK. Ok. Thanks. Bye.).

#31 + (-25) - [X]
<Greensky> Cola (12 oz.) = 35 so a coffee from SB is like 15 sodas.. lol
<Greensky> unless you say Pop in Oregon
<pr0kfried> nice
<pr0kfried> but less calories
<Greensky> Fred Meyers had a "Soda Pop" aisle..
<Greensky> yeah a lot less calories
<pr0kfried> it all depends on where you're from
<Greensky> I always called it pop if it's from a can, and soda from a
fountain, but whatever
<pr0kfried> interesting
<VxD> I only call it pop when it makes that sound coming out of my ass
<Greensky> naw, that's called a fart
<VxD> not when it's the whole can :-D
<pr0kfried> *POP*
#86 + (-25) - [X]
< nate> vertex-- : excited for the job fair ?
< nate> good opertunity to pickup chicks
< wilco> Fuckin' broke ones
< vertex--> nate: yes indeedy!
< vertex--> I will dazzle them with my fancy pants!
< vertex--> twirling my rapacious mustache!
< nate> nice.
* nate can't wait to be able to grow a mustache
< vertex--> I will pour champange and lure them into my net!
< wilco> Ha ha
< nate> awesome.

#154 + (-25) - [X]
< kraptv> I just posted a staff-wide email request wanting a brick phone.
< thumper^> heh
< thumper^> You're going to have a hard time finding a carrier for that
phone
< kraptv> You imply I am going to use it as an analog cell phone.
< thumper^> Well, what else? Going to nuke your nuts with it?

#173 + (-24) - [X]
< forkmaster> I can't host my 4U with you for $32/mo
< cwells> true
< cwells> maybe 32 and a handjob
< forkmaster> ooo, tempting
< forkmaster> I'll bring my 10 year old for the second part
< cwells> god
< cwells> you are a sick bastard
< cwells> is she hot?

#383 + (-24) - [X]
<@Weebs> http://verydemotivational.com/2010/08/27/demotivational-posters-borked/
<@VxD> bork bork bork bork
<@VxD> that's pretty messed up
<@Weebs> that's how my hand feels right now lol
<@VxD> too much jacking off?
<@Weebs> actually no
<@Weebs> I've got a girlfriend
<@VxD> too much jacking him off?
#232 + (-23) - [X]
< karrlii> my god i've completely superglued myself to myself
< rlangis> and yet you're still able to type

#275 + (-23) - [X]
<cactus> I talked to some lady, that had such a hot voice, I wanted to push my wiener through the phone.

#183 + (-22) - [X]
<VxD> yes, hard to take a jackoff break in the company bathroom with a broken pinky...
<hemp> yikes
<VxD> oh c'mon, like you've never done that
<Weebs> nope sorry, you're alone in that one
<VxD> well I would have to have been huh
<Weebs> reach arounds are still jacking off...
<Weebs> a contractor doesn;t build his house... but he does build a house... catch my drift
#28 + (-21) - [X]
<VxD> I was just reaching for the bottle of warmed lotion that I keep on top
of my monitor when...I realized I was at work...
#67 + (-21) - [X]
< Nihilist> *ponders* where can i get fresh basil?
< Maxzorin123> Whole Food Markets
< Maxzorin123> in the Pearl has great produce
< Nihilist> .. maybe at natures then, thats alot closer.
< Maxzorin123> natures is good
< cygnus> yeah, whole foods is a good place for that stuff
< GiR> Oo.. do that again!
< Maxzorin123> you up in NE?
< Nihilist> I work in Gresham.
< Nihilist> Zupan would be close to home as well hrm
< _vertex_> check your neighbor's back yard for fresh basil
< cygnus> fred meyer sometimes has fresh herbs too
< Nihilist> Wonder where i can get lamb..
< _vertex_> from a sheep
< VxD> *grin*
< cygnus> have you ever been to the store? :)
< Nihilist> WondYes, everything i buy though comes in a premade box..
< Nihilist> I bought potatos once and tried to microwave cook them,
turned out less then desirable..

#139 + (-21) - [X]
<shiruken> everyone lies in a relationship
<shiruken> well, except me
<shiruken> which is probably why they were so short
<shiruken> "Do you love me?"
<shiruken> "No, I'm just in it for the sex"
<mastiff> Do these pants make me look fat?
<mastiff> you better lie
<shiruken> heh
<shiruken> I guess I do
<VxD> "Let me see it with them off again"
<mastiff> "It's not the pants"

#51 + (-20) - [X]
bykguy: man, it's so dry out here that the inside of my lips are cracking, i'm blowing blood out of my nose, and my skin is turning in to sand paper
virtualdev: rad
bykguy: and the water here is SO hard
virtualdev: ....
bykguy: you can see the mineral build up on all the faucets
virtualdev: so when you step into the shower you get an instant erection?
bykguy: well duh
#159 + (-20) - [X]
<@Weebs> shaun I'll be there all alone
<@Weebs> will you be my date?
<@hemp> only if you wear a mini skirt
<@shiruken> it's a kilt
<@shiruken> and real scottish guys go commando to be ready
<@VxD> ...for the sheep

#181 + (-20) - [X]
<@[i]con> When I get home, I get to reinstall XP. YAY!!
<@[i]con> I need to pick up some libricant on the way home.
<@forkmaster> yes, XP needs lots of lubricant
<@hemp> for XP Home, that's true ... but XP Pro has been around the block
enough - lube is optional

#236 + (-20) - [X]
< cactus> i must cook sausage soon. gian kielbasa shall be mine.
< kraptv> Poor guy can't have the hotties eating it.
< cactus> yeah. it sucks having a girlfriend.
< cactus> you can't randomly hose around.

#313 + (-20) - [X]
< dgibbons> 6 days til my birthday
< dgibbons> I didn't realize ours were so close
< dgibbons> doodserz
< agilman> 25 days til my brithday
< teknotus> dgibbons: I think I want to move soonish.
< forkmaster> 10 months until my birthday!
< forkmaster> I didn't realize we were all so close
* agilman will be turning 21
< forkmaster> all of our birthdays are within a year of each other!
< teknotus> forkmaster: Holy crap

#33 + (-19) - [X]
* VxD is going to Chucky Cheese tonight, WOOHOO
<rikell42> :0
<rikell42> are you 12?
<VxD> oh come on now Chucky Cheese kicks ass
* rikell42/#orlug shrugs
<VxD> I can't live with myself if I can't play Skee Ball
<tacodog> Chuck E. Cheese kicked my ass and took my lunch money
<rikell42> I can't think of meeting people at a place like that
<VxD> never seen a rat kick a dogs ass, must have been a big old rat
<VxD> rikell42: oh yeah, it's the rage anymore
<tacodog> all that pizza he's been eatin'
<VxD> I like picking up on 10 year olds
<rikell42> :|
<rikell42> :P
<VxD> It's my daughter's birthday party nuttaz
<rikell42> aww
<rikell42> that makes sense
<rikell42> :)
<rikell42> well happy birth day
<VxD> but I use that as an excuse for picking up on 10 year olds
<tacodog> who doesn't?
<tacodog> who doesn't indeed
* VxD *grin*
#45 + (-19) - [X]
<lispy> i had a dream that i had to keep going to costco because they
couldn't fit my glasses to my face correctly
<lispy> then i woke up and my glasses fit funny....
<VxD> stop laying on them
<lispy> i'm not laying on them, i'm just "getting to know the frames"...
<lispy> geez, it's differet
<shiruken> ewww
<shiruken> I like it when I get to know a girl's glasses
<shiruken> while on her face
* shiruken won't get more explicit
<VxD> hard to see her glasses with her head down there so low...
<shiruken> yeah, my belly is in the way
<shiruken> that's why I take video
#55 + (-19) - [X]
<Nihilist> we could add a column for news poster and have it in the layout instead of you typing --vxd each time
<VxD> doesn't really matter, but if you want to add it go ahead
<VxD> I don't really have to say --VxD either, who cares
<Nihilist> *shrug*
<VxD> yeah, that's minor
<Nihilist> i like minors
#115 + (-19) - [X]
< karrlii> i don't even have to work
< karrlii> and yet i'm here putting up with his crap
< shiruken> I can put you to work
< karrlii> shiruken heh
< karrlii> oh yeah?
< karrlii> please do
< shiruken> yup
< shiruken> ok, first I would greet you at the door
< shiruken> I would be wearing a classy suit
< shiruken> that exudes power and confidence
< shiruken> your heart flutters
< karrlii> is there a dragon involved?
< karrlii> i want you to have a pet dragon
< shiruken> I lean close and say, "I need you to replace tape cl6799 with
cl6805 for a restore"
< karrlii> :/
< karrlii> tease
#186 + (-19) - [X]
< shiruken> dooder: I'd live in portland if I were single
< dooder> me too
< shiruken> hell, if I were single, I think my biggest expense would be
my bar tab
< dooder> mine too
< dooder> and lube budget
< shiruken> if a girl isn't prepared to bring her own lube, she's just
not prepared for you

#189 + (-19) - [X]
< Weebs_> I just called our ISP tech support and he's like "I see errors
on your router, I'll clear them and if you keep having problems
we'll see what's new, have a nice day *CLICK*"
< [i]con> Wow.
< [i]con> Who's your ISP?
< Weebs_> XO
< Weebs_> same as you
< Weebs_> (at work)
<@shiruken> so, I just got this call from a guy who thought I was XO tech
support
<@shiruken> I told him, dude, I'll clean out your router with my router
sweep brush. hav a nice day
<@shiruken> *click*
#247 + (-19) - [X]
<Baloo> So how's everybody doing tonight?
*rlangis wrings his hands and cackles maniacally
<rlangis> *cough* Oh, fine.
<lispy> i'm okay
<lispy> had a few beers
<lispy> fantasized about the barmaid
<lispy> realized my gf was there
<lispy> decided it was best to come home :)
<rlangis> yeah, masturbation in public places is frowned upon
<lispy> and why is that?
*lispy mubles about the uptight bastards
<Baloo> lispy enjoys public masturbation?
*cwells has joined #orlug(n=cliff@c-24-20-13-118.hsd1.or.comcast.net)
<cwells> men's velour gstring
<Baloo> That was strangely appropriate.

#42 + (-18) - [X]
<largos> this is great ;)
-:- SignOff largos: #orlug (Excess Flood)
<VxD> that IS great!
#101 + (-18) - [X]
< Partcik> vxd, you running linux now?
< VxD> I'm running it in my pants!
< Partcik> omg, linux is all files!! there's no GUI!! omfg
< VxD> the one in my pants gets GUI sometimes...
< Partcik> is your pecker, the kernel?
< Partcik> nice mang
< VxD> right now I'm accessing: 4 linux systems, three HP-UX systems, one
w2k desktop and two w2k servers :-P
< Partcik> omfg
< Partcik> gi me gi me gi me!!
< VxD> that should keep you busy
< Partcik> ;p
< Partcik> it would certainly do that
< Partcik> yes sir
< _vertex_> and that's with his right hand
< VxD> my left actually, my right is busy...
< _vertex_> hmm I thought you were bi

#120 + (-18) - [X]
< rlangis> what's the opposite of hate?
< brick> love
? brick :( was kicked from #seattle by Derision ?Love Kick!!!!?
< rlangis> there we go
? brick ??> ?goldllama@66.230.99.170?
* rlangis snickers
< brick> trhanks

#162 + (-18) - [X]
<@Weebs> I'm coming close to my 12 year anni of touching a boob for the first time in a non-truth or dare setting

#178 + (-18) - [X]
< lispy> heh, this paper defines an operator (<>)
< lispy> i'm waiting for <{}> to be used :)
< shiruken> not the tie fighter? |-O-|
< shiruken> or darth vader? <-O->
< shiruken> you must use the darth vader operator to trigger a goto
< shiruken> an cross into the dark side of the force
#237 + (-18) - [X]
< lispy> homeless girls give the best bj's because they're starving
< lispy> they'll eat anything
< fords> huh. i always went with the $5 prostitute on the grounds that
she gets quite a bit more practice.
< lispy> $5 prostitutes are good for anal, but i'd prefer a homeless girl
for a bj anyday

#238 + (-18) - [X]
<hemp> VxD, did you see the pictures of my new server closet? and how lonely it looks w/o a server rack?
<hemp> it's almost like looking at a small, wet puppy
<hemp> shivering in the cold
<hemp> no cover .... no heat ... no blankets ........
<hemp> sad puppy-dog eyes looking up at you ... hoping against hope that you'll take it in and cover it
<hemp> a slight, occasional whimper
<hemp> just enough to keep your attention
<hemp> not enough to be a nuisance
<hemp> oh VxD .... won't you rescue the poor little puppy?
<hemp> it doesn't ask much ... just a warm place to lay its tiny little head
<hemp> you don't even have to feed it if you don't want.... it can nibble on crumbs and hunt for scrawny mice .... maybe a spider or ant here and there..
<hemp> just a warm place to lay down
<hemp> won't you save the poor little puppy, VxD?
<hemp> won't you?
#239 + (-18) - [X]
-!- VxD changed the topic to: you can never have too many orgasms
<@shiruken> my motto
<@Weebs> I've had 7 since we started this conversation
<@shiruken> only 7?
<@shiruken> you gotta catch up
<@Weebs> I keep a hairdryer at my desk just for emergancies like these

#253 + (-18) - [X]
* VxD wonders if DVD-RAM is the right format to clone a goat in
#261 + (-18) - [X]
*Josh goes over to the meth lab next door and asks if they have any benadryl
#352 + (-17) - [X]
< VxD> linux desktop at work just ate a disk
< VxD> unable to read inode block
< VxD> bleh!
< dlab> oh, fun
< DanKReeK> eghhwho needs inodes?
< GreySim> Apple?
#134 + (-17) - [X]
(13:41:09) ***virtualdev calls HR
(13:41:20) bykguy: uh oh
(13:41:28) bykguy: i didn't mean to grab you there
(13:41:51) bykguy: i was showing someone my bowling technique and you just stepped in to the wrong spot
(13:42:00) bykguy: it's all a big misunderstanding
#174 + (-17) - [X]
<kraptv> cac tus.
* rlangis watches kraptv pick a random word out of the air and drop it on the channel

#243 + (-17) - [X]
< wilco> My wife's cow-orker, a Ms. Johnson, just had a child, 7 pounds
and some ounces. I cannot stop making jokes about having a 7-pound johnson.

#369 + (-17) - [X]
< stackcats> winblows
< stackcats> I just deleted my bosses thunderbird folders
< stackcats> whups
< stackcats> just think of the time you'll save not reading those e-mails
< stackcats> last time she comes over here for tech support
< stackcats> hire an IT guy fer godssake
#180 + (-16) - [X]
<Weebs> I think I have a virus :(
<hemp> wird
<hemp> is it th missing "" virus?
<hemp> it rmovs all th 's from your scrn?
<shiruken> I had that on for a whil
<hemp> that would suck
<shiruken> totally, how would you vr talk about sx?
<shiruken> you'd b lik hy baby, wanna cybr?
<shiruken> and sh'd b lik, "what?"
* forkmaster giggl's
<hemp> of cours, if your nick was "wbs" thn that would b rally hard
<shiruken> no sx for wbs
<hemp> no goats.cx for wbs ithr
<forkmaster> nuts
<hemp> nuts h can do
<hemp> but pnis is strictly out of th qustion

#314 + (-16) - [X]
<@Weebs> I have a ups here that I can't get to work on XP
<@VxD> the sine wave isn't XP compatible?

#335 + (-16) - [X]
<@hemp> Think Rambo would be a good V-Day movie?
<@hemp> :)
<@VxD> hemp: if you like gay porn, sure
<@inertia> heh. does your wife like Rambo?
<@hemp> inertia, I highly doubt it
* inertia doesn't
<@inertia> I have never even sat through one entire Rambo movie I cant stand boxing.
<@inertia> or is that rocky? whatever.
<@VxD> hahahahahahahahahahah
<@VxD> oh shit that's good
<@inertia> are they both sylvester stallone? he is really the one I cant deal with...
#377 + (-16) - [X]
< shiruken> reckless and smart
< stackcats> like a laser plane
#8 + (-15) - [X]
<VxD> damn Blackbox is hung
<rlangis> put away the ruler, VxD
#99 + (-15) - [X]
< thumper^_> I just fucking pasted my password into a huge IRC channel.
< GiR> *In slow motion* Dooom de doom
* thumper^_ changes passwords

#141 + (-15) - [X]
* shiruken is compiling
<lispy> compiling an anal bum cover?
<shiruken> yeah, I don't want a visit from the butt pirates aboard
SS Ahoy, Sailor
<shiruken> hrm, just got to gcc, this'll be a while
<lispy> gotta watch out for their swashbuckling swards

#185 + (-15) - [X]
<@Weebs> Oh! hemp,
<@Weebs> Did u ever fall in love, but knew they didn't care?
<@Weebs> U cry all night in misery, and almost go insane.
<@hemp> no you didn't ... you offered to make my wife give you a blowjob
<@hemp> that is not love

#244 + (-15) - [X]
< menion_> Considering my weakend position, I am white, technically
inclined, and better looking than shiruken or cwells.
< shiruken> you got no chance at anything then
< cwells> you only look better cause of the porn facials you get
< cwells> keeps your skin young and girlish
< menion_> hahah
< menion_> You just tell yourself that because of your spectacular
failure at rapping.
< shiruken> it feels good when I feel bad about being a failed white rapper
< shiruken> to rub one out on menion_'s face
< shiruken> when I'm feeling blue, feel a little me on you...
< menion_> hahaha
< menion_> That is really nasty
< shiruken> menion_: c'mon, you know you love it
< shiruken> as long as cwells doesn't touch me, we can do a dual facial
on you
< shiruken> it'll be an early xmas present
< menion_> shiruken: What, now you don't let him touch? What are you a
stripper?
< shiruken> I have to comply with all the state laws
< VxD> that's not what you said last night...
< shiruken> that's my lead in
< shiruken> to, for $100 more, I can forget what state I'm in

#246 + (-15) - [X]
cellarstella: [my cat] freaked me out today though...
cellarstella: he tried to lick my nipple
cellarstella: eeek!
HentaiJessOIT: hahaha
cygnus: cellarstella: reverse bestiality.
cellarstella: haha
cellarstella: my cat's a perv
cygnus: it's legal.
cygnus: if you consent.
cactus: did you rub peanut butter on it?
cellarstella: no
cactus: hmm.. cats are sensitive
cactus: must have sensed impending milk
cellarstella: yikes
cactus: o.O
HentaiJessOIT: Roses are red, violets are blue, in Soviet Russia, pussy eats YOU
#260 + (-15) - [X]
<@shiruken> hell, I bet your sister gets exploited less than IIS and ASP

#362 + (-15) - [X]
sabotage: I'm lucky to have my bike and space in my wifes bed ;)
Weebs: me too!
#366 + (-15) - [X]
-!- Wraithan is now known as Wr__th_n
< NotoriousOIT> Wr__th_n: did you just have an involuntary vowel movement?
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: Sometimes vowel movements just happen, and you can't stop them =/
< NotoriousOIT> I hear that happens to lots of guys.
< Wr__th_n> NotoriousOIT: it was exlosive... i think my vowels were destroyed.
#393 + (-15) - [X]
13:08 < dgibbons> anyone want a rototiller I couldn't get running?

<time passes>

07:54 <@Weebs> what have you tried on the tiller?
09:07 <@VxD> what have you not tried on the tiller?
09:07 <@VxD> How has the tiller changed your view on the world?
09:08 <@VxD> If you were a tiller, what color would you be?
09:08 <@VxD> When presented with two tillers, how would you choose the right one?
09:08 <@Weebs> if the tiller could use one word to decribe you what would it be
09:09 <@VxD> Have you ever had a conflict you couldn't resolve with a tiller? If so, what steps did you take to escalate the issue?
09:10 <@Weebs> where do you see the tiller being in 5 years?
09:10 <@VxD> If asked to map out a lifecycle roadmap on tiller management, where would you begin?
09:11 <@Weebs> if you were to ask the tiller's last supervisor to provide it additional training or exposure, what would he/she suggest?
09:11 <@VxD> Where do you feel the tiller falls in the ITIL incident management process?
09:12 <@Weebs> If the tiller could pick one superhero power what would it be and why?
09:12 <@VxD> If you were managing a group of tillers, would you make one tiller a lead to lessen your load? How would you enable that tiller?
09:13 <@Weebs> if the tiller had to get rid of one state in the US which one would it be and why?
09:13 <@VxD> If you were asked to help a tiller tie it's shoes by using words only, how would you proceed?
09:14 <@Weebs> What would the tiller's previous coworkers say about it?
09:14 <@VxD> What would your tiller sucession plan look like?
09:15 <@Weebs> Is there anyone the tiller just could not work with?
09:16 <@VxD> List out the tiller's prior roles in order and give a brief description on what the tiller liked about the job, why it took it, and why it left.
09:16 <@Weebs> Tell me why I should hire your tiller
09:16 < dgibbons> wow
09:17 <@VxD> Is there anything outside of work that you feel I should know about your tiller?
09:17 < dgibbons> anyways, I had a buddy come over with motivation and he cleaned it a bunch
09:17 < dgibbons> thats it
09:17 <@Weebs> jeez no wonder dgibbons never sells anything... he doesn't answer any questions!


#48 + (-14) - [X]
<karrlii> the food was good, but it made me feel really ill
<karrlii> like car ride sick
<lispy> perhaps you ate too much...
<VxD> indeed
<VxD> I refuse to throw up after I go out to eat, even if I feel
deathly sick, I don't want to waste the money :)

#133 + (-14) - [X]
[scream|public] Iann says, "Whee! Roomate cuts the power to the network becuase the lights from the hub keep his 'not-girlfriend' awake!"
[scream|public] Baloo_Ursidae says, "Get him back. Tomorrow, not-fuck his not-girlfriend."
[scream|public] Iann says, "I'm gonna go with a 'no' on that. Fucking her would make my life much much worse, and it has little to nothing to do with him."
[scream|public] Iann says, "'not-fucking' as well."
[scream|public] Baloo_Ursidae says, "So if fucking her would make your life worse, and not fucking her would make your life worse, what do you have to lose? 8:o)"

#317 + (-14) - [X]
< Teknotus> Some mail arrived for you.
< Teknotus> It came from Texas.
< Teknotus> It feels like a birthday card, or something.
< Dgibbons> Weird!??! from who?
< Teknotus> Doesn't say
< Teknotus> the envelope has a pretty Hawaiian floral print.
< Teknotus> It doesn't have a postmark over the stamp
< Dgibbons> Can you breath in deeply near it and tell me if it smells like anthrax?

#356 + (-14) - [X]
11:48 < rlangis> Ima have LOTS of time to game now
11:48 < rlangis> or code, or otherwise better myself :)
11:49 < VxD> and by that you mean jo
11:50 < rlangis> of course.
11:50 < rlangis> every chance I get, just like a monkey
11:50 < GiR> Hmm.. the scary monkey
11:50 < VxD> puuurrrfect gir

#381 + (-14) - [X]
Daehlie> they have to disable it for their performance benchmarks to hit those 400MB/s numbers
cwells> wtf
cwells> i'm trying to figure out how you are on IRC when you clearly don't even have internet
cwells> btrfs currently outperforms on all benchmarks except for database access
Daehlie> source?

#384 + (-14) - [X]
<@charlieS> it's not cool, really.. we have 128GB of RAM so the DB can
keep the working set in memory, else the whole app eats its
fucking shit
<@hemp> ya, that's not cool - unless of course it was intended to be an
in-memory database; there are a few
<@hemp> generally not well regarded, but there's an idiot for every db
<@charlieS> yeah, no. It was just explosive growth and poor planning.
<@hemp> that's what she said
#3 + (-13) - [X]
< karrlii> today is going to be a long day
< Nihilist> yes, yes it is
< VxD> damn right
< shiruken> about 12" long for me
< karrlii> haha
< VxD> shiruken: take the ruler out of your anus dude
#24 + (-13) - [X]
<VxD> woo, let's all have a furpile!
<wilco> furpile?
<VxD> YOU don't know about FURPILES??!!?
<VxD> it's where people dress up in big animal suits and all get in a
rubbing/humping pile together
<shiruken> I feel sad that I just learned that
#40 + (-13) - [X]
<VxD> linuxninja: so did nihilist convince you to work on his pr0n site?
<linuxninja> it remains to be seen VxD
<VxD> 8ball will linuxninja work on the pr0n site?
* GiR shakes the psychic purple sphere...
<GiR> It says 'In your dreams,' VxD
<VxD> hahaha
<shiruken> lol
#312 + (-13) - [X]
16:47 < gleesond> fuck I just got hit by a car while riding my bike
16:47 < GiR> BUUUURRRRIIIITTOOO!
16:48 < gleesond> I'm ok but that was lame
16:48 < dgibbons> gleesond: don't ride in traffic next timje and i wont hit you
again!
16:49 < gleesond> LOL
16:53 < gleesond> All I was worried about was my laptop and it seems to be ok
16:59 < forkmaster> the medics come and he's like, "I know my leg is broken,
but can you check my laptop first?"
17:01 < dgibbons> hah
17:02 < gleesond> seriously thats what it was like!

#385 + (-13) - [X]
<@Weebs> brandon is totally my gay buddy
<@Weebs> in high schoool girls would ask me if he was gay
<@VxD> funny, everyone thought I was until I got married
<@Weebs> did you make out with dudes?
<@VxD> not that I recall
<@hemp> you never kissed your dad?
<@VxD> never with tounge
<@VxD> I think that's what counts
<@VxD> wow, just grossed myself out a little there
<@Weebs> yeah it's not gay if you don't use your tounge
#387 + (-13) - [X]
<@Weebs> some random russian dude just posted on a youtube video I've had up since jan 1 2009
<@Weebs> all he said was "whore"
<@newtMcKerr> awesome
<@Weebs> inertia isn't here so I can say this
<@Weebs> The random russian dude was right!
#15 + (-12) - [X]
<rlangis> I don't mind other people having sex in my bed, as long as I can join them.
#350 + (-12) - [X]
<@lon_home> I'm going to copyright parting lips. That way I can sue anyone who teaches someone to talk.
#34 + (-12) - [X]
<Nihilist> omg i just found out why the guy at the pet store has been giving
me deals on mice for my snake...
<VxD> he wants to pet your "snake"?
<Nihilist> yes :(
<VxD> well you are a sexy mofo...
<VxD> to guys
<Nihilist> i know!: ( what am i doing wrong
<shiruken> sounds like you are doing everything right
<VxD> haha
#58 + (-12) - [X]
< karrlii> i love condoms
< shiruken> if I play my cards right, I might use the whole box up before
sunrise
< karrlii> i like using condoms even when i dont have to
< karrlii> i dont know why. they're just neat
< karrlii> i like japanese condoms that have cute things on them
< shiruken> even when you don't have to?
< VxD> hello kitty condoms
< shiruken> when is that?
< shiruken> like, oh honey, couldn't find a ziplock bag for your
sandwhich, I used a condom instead

#60 + (-12) - [X]
< pacopablo> anyone messed around with IPSEc and racoon?
< VxD> pacopablo: sorry, we were talking about sodemy, try again later
< pacopablo> VxD: ok, I'll rephrase the question: anyone messed around
with IPSex with racoons?
< VxD> pacopablo: I love when you talk dirty
< shiruken> pacopablo: dude, who hasn't?
< pacopablo> shiruken: guess I'm just not getting the hang of it :)
< shiruken> pacopablo: grease the raccoons up first
< shiruken> less packet loss
< pacopablo> I'll remember that :)
< Nihilist> less pecker loss?
< shiruken> also, don't drop your raccoon in the shower


#234 + (-12) - [X]
16:30 < absolutejoe> Oh ... did they move it to Thursdays ... hmmm ... well,
that interferes with my dancing schedule ;-)
16:30 < jax0m> you dance?
16:30 * jax0m cringes
16:30 < jax0m> like, ballroom?
16:31 < kraptv> no, like DICK IN BUTT DANCING. WHY ARE YOU HERE ASKING THESE
QUESTIONS
16:31 < mackstann> oh shit, i like dancing too then

#184 + (-12) - [X]
<@[i]con> Arr!
<@[i]con> Avast.
<@Weebs> me hardy!
<@Weebs> parlay
<@[i]con> Arrgg.. I be the dread pirate swishy-hair, there be a storm
brewin' in me skivvies.
<@[i]con> Our company celebrates National Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day, it's
great.
<@Weebs> does your company also sponsor ass orgies?
<@Weebs> cuz that's pretty gay

#230 + (-12) - [X]
<karrlii> i want to tell you guys a dream i've been having
<karrlii> so you can tell me what's wrong with me
<karrlii> i keep dreaming that my mother is trying on different sized penises on her head, like they're detachable
<karrlii> the other night the penis also came with a pulsating asshole
<karrlii> it was distrubring
<geekinpink> NO KIDDING
<karrlii> disturbing
.....
<geekinpink> do you have a good relationship with your mother?
.....
<karrlii> geekinpink yeah better now than what it used to be
<VxD> are you worried that you never got to try out all the penises you wanted and now you are stuck with only one?
<karrlii> VxD well i'm not stuck
<geekinpink> Sounds like you're calling her a penis-head
<karrlii> i can keep trying them out
.....
<geekinpink> karrlii: you can keep trying them out?
#245 + (-12) - [X]
< Baloo> Yay, the intermittant packet loss stopped again.
< rlangis> oh.
* rlangis puts his DDOS cron script back in action.

#316 + (-12) - [X]
< absolutejoe> I really enjoy filling out employment questionaires ...
< VxD> you should have it down to a science by now
< absolutejoe> I like questions like this:
< absolutejoe> Experience deploying IT, networking and voice
< VxD> I bought some IT at BestBuy once, but it didn't work out, they
wouldn't let me return it either
< VxD> NEXT QUESTION!
< absolutejoe> I deploy my voice over the network all the time ... and IT
usually works fine.
< VxD> I often deploy voice over cat3 whenever I answer the phone
< absolutejoe> I usually deply my voice OTA
< absolutejoe> deploy even
< VxD> wow, wireless technology!

#315 + (-12) - [X]
< CryptoMole> hey all whats news
< Cad> A method of communicating current events, or current events as a
group.
< Krampus> See also: Huey Lewis

#347 + (-12) - [X]
Keiku: lol
Keiku: i just hacked some noob that uses a mac :P what a d-bag
WaveFox: o.O
Keiku: heya Wavee
WaveFox: Yeah, that's not the best of things to boast about
Keiku: im sorry but i just rlly hate macs
WaveFox: Why?
Keiku: iunno
WaveFox: Oh nice. I love a reasoned arguement
Keiku: they have great software but they function like a fat guy after a hotdog eating contest
NotoriousOIT: flawed logic AND insults. WHY aren't you married yet?
Keiku: because im not old enough
WaveFox: Well, that's not obvious
***Keiku coughs
NotoriousOIT: true, they frown upon people marrying kindergartners
#355 + (-12) - [X]
VxD: 13:37 <@NewdleBot> VxD, the Pervert of the Clowns, has attained level 42! Next
VxD: level in 3 days, 12:56:04.
hemp: VxD is the Clown Prince of Perversia
#359 + (-12) - [X]
tacodog40k: what's new wif you?
IamLordV1ldemort: What's your email, personal email?
IamLordV1ldemort: I will send you a boxee invite.
IamLordV1ldemort: oh, i joined Facebook
IamLordV1ldemort: *sigh*
IamLordV1ldemort: Too much family there.
tacodog40k: hah
tacodog40k: i saw that. i don't have a facebook account and your request made me wonder if i should set one up.
IamLordV1ldemort: Oh fuckign hell
tacodog40k: xxxXxxx@yahoo.com
IamLordV1ldemort: FUCK FUCK FUCK
IamLordV1ldemort: yeah
tacodog40k: !
IamLordV1ldemort: So
IamLordV1ldemort: I clicked to upload my contact list, and it seemed to hang, so I cliked ggain
IamLordV1ldemort: Fuckin thing somehow took both events (eventually) and fucking
IamLordV1ldemort: FUCK
IamLordV1ldemort: sent out email to my whole fucking contact list =(
tacodog40k: hahah
tacodog40k: sorry
IamLordV1ldemort: LKML, Python List, 3 gentoo Lists, Dell Hardware, etc, etc,
etc, etc Linux-Net the list goes on.
IamLordV1ldemort: OMG
tacodog40k: holy cow
tacodog40k: hahaha
IamLordV1ldemort: ~1m people.
tacodog40k: holy
tacodog40k: ahahhaahah
IamLordV1ldemort: Yeha
IamLordV1ldemort: so
tacodog40k: *wipes away tears*
tacodog40k: i'm laughing so hard, i scared the dogs
#23 + (-11) - [X]
<wilco> I like Latin
<karrlii> me too.
<karrlii> you know what i also like?
<karrlii> legendary pink dots
<karrlii> they just came on my ipod
<karrlii> they were in portland recently. i went and saw them. it was awesome.
<karrlii> i feel very clipped today.
<nihilist> i like latin too..
<nihilist>
./porn/Hot.Ass.Latinas.CD1.XXX.DVDRip.XviD-Pr0nStarS.ShareConnector.avi
<nihilist>
./porn/Hot.Ass.Latinas.CD2.XXX.DVDRip.XviD-Pr0nStarS.ShareConnector.avi
<nihilist> ./porn/Redhead with latino guy.mpg
<nihilist> ./porn/Young.Tight.Latinas.5.by.Salseros.CD1.XviD.ShareConnector.avi
<nihilist> see!
#32 + (-11) - [X]
<shiruken> sweet! I just got a gig as an espn columnist
<shiruken> here's my rss feed
<shiruken> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=brush_ken
<VxD> uh
<VxD> o'tay
<charlieS> <ding>
<VxD> fries are done!
<kraptv> FRIES ARE DONE!!!! SHITTERSSSS
<shiruken> btw, I'm not really an espn columnist
<VxD> REALLLYY!!!
<shiruken> yeah, shocking
<lispy> shiruken: you hacked their system?
<shiruken> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=winky_tinky
<shiruken> but tinky winky is
<shiruken> lispy: no, they just don't do any input validation
<VxD> http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/rss/columnist?name=semore_dicks
<lispy> shiruken: you could go to jail for a long time if someone finds out
<VxD> for incorrectly entering a URL?
<VxD> OMG!!! 404!!! I'm getting arrested!
#37 + (-11) - [X]
<VxD> better yet, how about an online car sales site with pics of the car that
have people fucking on them
<linuxninja> YES!
<VxD> "Here is the interior, notice the high end CD/mp3 player next to Buffy's
knee"
<VxD> "you will also notice it is a stickshift, even if the shifter is
currently burried inside of Tina"
* linuxninja/#pdxlug almost loses his coffee
<VxD> haha, DRINK AGAIN
<VxD> "Around the rear of the car you can see Candy making full use of the
retractable power antenna"
<linuxninja> lol
<VxD> "And just below her you can see Mindy being assreamed by Bruno over the
SPACIOUS TRUNK"
<linuxninja> assreamed
<VxD> YEAH, ASSREAMED, GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!
<linuxninja> mmm...assreame
#38 + (-11) - [X]
<matchboy> win32 is the future
-:- matchboy was kicked off #pdxlug by VxD ("if you don't have something nice
to say...keep it to yourself :)")
#59 + (-11) - [X]
< wilko> It was sent to me by my wife
< wilko> My wife sends me gay porn at work!
< thumper^> She wants to be sure you're not in the mood when you get home.
< VxD> perhaps she's trying to help you get in touch with your inner self
< shiruken> thumper^: s/not//
< thumper^> he might be in the mood, but not for her. :)
#78 + (-11) - [X]
<@Weebs> my filing girl is so fat lol
<@Weebs> prego fat that is
<@Weebs> she's getting closer and closer to popping
<@VxD> nice
<@Weebs> Her pregnancy is teaching me a lot
<@Weebs> after everyone of her classes she explains to me what she learns
<@VxD> Don't knock up a pretty girl?

#138 + (-11) - [X]
<@Weebs> back when I was sponsored by arcteryx I lived at rei
<@VxD> yeah, back when I was sponsored by Happy Clown Condoms I
lived...uh, nevermind
<@Weebs> you scare me sometimes
<@VxD> that's odd, I should be scaring you all the time

#241 + (-11) - [X]
<@VxD> it's kinda stupid for me to be the only one submitting
<@shiruken> kinda like masturbation
<@Weebs> I've submitted some
<@Weebs> I won't submit my own quotes though....
<@VxD> and I'm sure a good many were approved
<@Weebs> so I have to rely on you people being funny
<@VxD> luckily we are pantloads full of funny
<@Weebs> which as we all know is like waiting for a nun to give you a
handjob during mass

#242 + (-11) - [X]
<@Weebs> girls making out is porn if it is in color
<@Weebs> girls making out in black and white is art

#267 + (-11) - [X]
< noussquid> i had a guy who is now my husband do the nerdiest thing to my boob ever
< menion> Uh oh
< noussquid> he pressed on my nipple and said engage

#318 + (-11) - [X]
VxD: two of my kids were conceved on reliable contraception
VxD: my wife is like a corn field
VxD: 00.01%
VxD: I should gamble
Weebs: maybe it was the other guy she was banging
#319 + (-11) - [X]
< VxD> man, are you STILL complaining?
< VxD> I left for a HALF HOUR
< VxD> came back to all of this
< VxD> you don't hear me complaining like this about my job
< VxD> nope, I'm totally happy to work late nights and be given
impossible deadlines
< VxD> nothing gives me greater joy
< VxD> especially the on-call, what a precious jewel that is!
< VxD> the OPPOTUNITY to talk to people at 2am!
< VxD> how anti-social people in IT have become, how wonderful it is that
I get to talk to people late a night, usually right up from a dead
sleep
< VxD> boy am I lucky
< VxD> even better now that they moved us off from that ritzy campus into
these call center cube farms
< VxD> don't want all that glitz going to our heads you know
< VxD> and there is always a cube available, due to smart planning, and
the lack of replacements when people leave
< VxD> can have my pick in the lay of the land, nothing makes me more
secure!
< VxD> alright, I've put in my page of scrollback about how wonderful my
job is, I'm done.
< shiruken> heh
< shiruken> quit bragging

#334 + (-11) - [X]
Slunkj> I hate how people figured out how to use texts and transitions in Microsoft Movie Maker and decide to dub themselves Producers and use the text assuming we care what they think about ah, periods

Nihilist > i have no idea wtf you're talking about, you're on your period?
#10 + (-10) - [X]
12:40 < Nihilist> "Gertrude Walton, a deceased eighty-three-year-old woman, was named as the only defendant in a federal lawsuit filed by a group of record
companies. They claimed Walton made more than 700 pop, rock and rap songs available for free on the Internet under the screen name 'smittenedkitten.' Needless to say, the suit has since been dropped."
12:42 < shiruken> hrm, those dead pirates
12:42 < shiruken> it's like the Black Pearl!
12:43 < fords> haha
12:46 < Nihilist> lol
12:47 < Nihilist> Will gertrude Walton come to the stand? *a rotting corpse rises and hobbles up to the chair*
12:48 < shiruken> Gertrude, is it true that you shared 700 songs, amongst them, 2 live crew's "Me So Horny" and "Bitches and Pimps" ?
13:10 < Nihilist> her jaw falls off.
13:21 < lispy> nice
13:26 < fords> she's dead, she's not a leper.
13:27 < fords> it'd be more like "a rat crawls out of her mouth"
#26 + (-10) - [X]
I started to worry that my head was getting too big, my ego was getting out of control. Then i realized i was better than that!
#43 + (-10) - [X]
<karrlii> i am having such girl drama
<karrlii> this is what i get for refusing to believe that girls can get along
with other girls
<karrlii> :(
<VxD> I get along with girls fine
<karrlii> yeah because you have a penis and they want to do you
#308 + (-10) - [X]
VxD: I need a secretary
* cruiseoveride refers to them as sexitaires
hemp: VxD, An ugly, fat, balding male secretary is what you need
VxD: hemp: doesn't matter, couldn't see them under my desk
hemp: bu du, chi
#112 + (-10) - [X]
< rlangis> gentoo is easy: http://bash.org/?464385
< baloo> You owe me a keyboard
< rlangis> LOL

#191 + (-10) - [X]
< keithgodat> i mean you dont just buy a car if it says "this is the
right car for you"
< VxD> if I can find a car that talks I'll buy it

#203 + (-10) - [X]
< lispy> do vegetarian girls swallow?
< HentaiJessOIT> i wouldn't know
< HentaiJessOIT> i'll have to do a survey

#268 + (-10) - [X]
< jvoorhis> what is orlug?
< dgibbons> a irc channel
< jvoorhis> i saw :P
< dgibbons> it's the non lug affiliated oregon linux user group irc channel, it's never really linux related though
< dgibbons> lug-nostic? O.o
< dgibbons> It's like a blackhole in irc
< dgibbons> you put time in.. and you never see it again
< dgibbons> somehow the irc-gamma rays make you feel dumber too

#290 + (-10) - [X]
< cwells> noussquid, you gonna take me on a date in your new ride?
< noussquid> sure :)
< cwells> sweet
< cwells> should i wear heels?
< noussquid> yes
* cwells clops around clumsily, falls into noussquid's jeep and gets taken advantage of
< shiruken> cwells: that's how you get pregnant
#342 + (-10) - [X]
thumper^: Jesus and I love you.
NotoriousOIT: so that's why my ass hurts this morning
#363 + (-10) - [X]
< whodevil> no
< whodevil> no
< whodevil> sexualized children
< whodevil> naked

#390 + (-10) - [X]
<@Weebs> boners are like a divining rod for boobies

#392 + (-10) - [X]
< cjdaniel> 60% Off Hypnosis
< VxD> cjdaniel: that's just what they want you to believe

#50 + (-9) - [X]
< nate> the good thing about a mac mini is that it's really easy to throw
#16 + (-9) - [X]
<charlieS> short em. its only 12 volts - don't be a pussy
#70 + (-9) - [X]
< hanna> well im off to an appt then vd dinner... later all.
< VxD> HAVE FUN!
< hanna> thanks have a nice VD too.
< VxD> VD...heh heh

#156 + (-9) - [X]
06:09 < shiruken> I think because it's closed source, it's against my morals
06:10 < shiruken> if I ever have a problem with photoshop, or wish to add a feature, I can't
06:10 < thumper^> You buy photoshop, you give money to adobe. it givew money to employees, employees give money to local economy, local economy grows.
06:10 < shiruken> and because I can't, the world is deprived of a better peice of software
06:10 < thumper^> How is thatnot helping
06:10 < thumper^> You think like a programmer, I think like a normal human.
06:11 < thumper^> I don't code anythign but web sites.
06:11 < shiruken> that run on apache and linux :)

#160 + (-9) - [X]
<VxD> haha, I'm finally getting around to the PDXLUG thread on
bribing/stalking Linus
<VxD> holy hell that was a long thread
<lispy> heh, creepy ass PDX crowd :)
<charlieS> lol :)
<lispy> was anyone trying to have his baby?
<GiR> I got a coupon!
<lispy> besides, karrlii of course

#193 + (-9) - [X]
< nate> yay. happy birthday to me
< lispy> nate: congratulations you slice of shit, you're a year closer to death

#258 + (-9) - [X]
< cellarstella> someone come over and be my chauffeur
< VxD> are you saying you want to get a ride on my stickshift?
< cellarstella> on?
< VxD> on/in/up/over
< cellarstella> I guess if it gets me to the store
< VxD> It'll get you more than that
< cellarstella> sure, but all I'm asking for is to get to the store
< VxD> Think of it to be similar to the Cash Cab show, you get to leave
with a wad

#266 + (-9) - [X]
< tacodog> it's free vasectomy day here at planet argon
< tacodog> i got a message on my machine last night. wrong number (I hope) from some doctor's office confirming my vasectomy appointment today
#279 + (-9) - [X]
<VxD> mmm, I remember looking at pretty ascii girls in MUDDs over Gopher...those were the days
<VxD> that quickly dates me doesn't it
<hemp> no one dates you
<VxD> Mr. Hand
<hemp> except your poor, unfortunate wife
#324 + (-9) - [X]
< whitenoyce> sex is like eating KFC once ur done nibbling on the breast
& thighs u have a nice greasy box 2 put ur bones in
< fords> crass, but i suppose some people could identify with it.
< NotoriousOIT> oh god, now i'm really hungry

#326 + (-9) - [X]
Weebs: I only read books on tape
hemp: +1
hemp: actually .. I also read books in movie form
Weebs: i makes porn more fun
VxD: you do?
hemp: don't you?
#327 + (-9) - [X]
<@VxD> I say do her
<@Weebs> that's your answer for everything
<@Weebs> "my router doesn't work"
<@Weebs> "dick the uplink port"
#328 + (-9) - [X]
<@VxD> I wonder if a cockring could be considered "band" "width"
#329 + (-9) - [X]
< NotoriousOIT> mmm bacon
< fords> i mean, i do love bacon.
< NotoriousOIT> who DOESN'T?
< VxD> it doesn't love me
< fords> yaweh
< fords> but i'm dead on my feet already. do i have time for bacon?
< NotoriousOIT> it's like concentrated deliciousness
< NotoriousOIT> true, cooking bacon is not recommended when you're
exhausted
< fords> i'm not THAT exhausted, but even still. that's work.
< fords> i dunno. i think i am gonna do it.
< NotoriousOIT> it's not recommended to cook bacon in the nude either
< fords> strike 2!
< NotoriousOIT> you only need to make THAT mistake once
< VxD> grease burned nipples
< NotoriousOIT> that's exactly what happened
< NotoriousOIT> and it HURT
< VxD> you might say...crispy nipples
< NotoriousOIT> ow.
< VxD> KFC Crispy Nipples! bet you can't eat just one!
< fords> NotoriousOIT: i don't spend much time thinking about your
nipples, but you've just brought to the front of my mind that particular image.
< VxD> I could see them selling in a two-pack
< fords> ...with strips of bacon tastefully draped across them.
< VxD> ( . ) ( . )
< VxD> Baconini is the latest swimwear rage!
< NotoriousOIT> hahaha
< fords> goddamnit! this flexible ice shit thaws in an hour, and takes
two hours to freeze
< NotoriousOIT> that particular comment needs pics
< VxD> you could go canadian bacon for the boobs
< fords> no, regular bacon.
< fords> hands down.
< VxD> then a strip bacon g-string
< VxD> talk about edible underwear!
#361 + (-9) - [X]
< whodevil> I need to start experimenting with virtualization
< VxD> I'm virtualizing my pants
< whodevil> yeah well...
< VxD> everyone says the ESX pants are the bomb, but HR at work doesn't think so
< Daehlie> they are still working out the kinks in virtual pants
< Daehlie> namely the indecent exposure
< VxD> they need rotating virtual pants
< VxD> where the pants are used in more of a distributed model
< VxD> everyone shares the pants on a private network, getting time
shared in milliseconds per person, so it appears that everyone is
actually wearing pants, but it is cycling faster than you can
actually see at 30 fps
< VxD> thus one pair of pants can be used between up to 5 persons without
noticiable delay exposure
< dgibbons> hah
< dgibbons> "noticiable"
< dgibbons> what if there's "downtime" for one person who has to pee?
< VxD> they can be taken out of cluster rotation while in the stall
< VxD> after submitting form A342938-D in writing
< Daehlie> in tripicate
#54 + (-8) - [X]
< fords> i thought april was black history month
< fords> do i do anything? hell yeah. i run out and buy me some slaves.
< baloo> February is. May is Microwave Popcorn Month.
< fords> oh.
< fords> all these years, i been buying slaves in the wrong month. hahaha
< VxD> the state will tax you extra for that

#79 + (-8) - [X]
< Weebs[zof]> VxD did you stay in the room when your wife gave birth?
<@VxD> yep
<@VxD> I caught the kids
< Weebs[zof]> my filing girl won't allow her hubby to do that
<@VxD> wtf?
<@VxD> it's not like he hasn't been down there before
<@VxD> if she may recall, that's how this all started
< Weebs[zof]> haha yeah
< Weebs[zof]> but it's slightly different during birth
< Weebs[zof]> I had to watch the damn video in health class
< Weebs[zof]> I don't think i'd want to be down there
<@VxD> you can always offer to help her reconstruct the course of events
:-D
<@VxD> "Ok, so let's imagine I'm your husband, and I'll mount you here..."
#97 + (-8) - [X]
< karrlii> dood im' seeing spots all of a sudden
< wilco> Detached retina?
< karrlii> umh
< karrlii> no
< _vertex_> spontaneous orgasm?
< karrlii> yeah especially since that happens so often when i'm talking
to you guys

#109 + (-8) - [X]
User wangstick joined channel #G4TechTV
<wangstick>god i've been banned like 6 times this week from this thing
<wangstick>for almost nothin
<wangstick>nazi mods
<wangstick>har
<burningpapersun>wow...wangstick...
<baloo>I guess you almost need to stop doing that then, wangstick
<wangstick>but im only expressing my opinion ;_;
<wangstick>and i get banned
baloo laughs!
<baloo>If I wanted your opinion, I'd give it to you. 8)
<wangstick>what
<wangstick>are you talking about
<Dan_Sgambelluri>!kb wangstick evading ban0
ChanServ sets mode +b *!*@pcp07840731pcs.wilmsc01.tn.comcast.net on #G4TechTV
wangstick has left the chat (Kicked by ChanServ. Reason: (Dan_Sgambelluri) evading ban0).

#122 + (-8) - [X]
< matchboy> does it ever not work? (the monitor)
< matchboy> or is it just dark
< thumper^> When it doesn't work, it's black as your mom's boyfriend.

#145 + (-8) - [X]
< paca> Are there ab=ny torrent sites still running?
< shiruken> what are ab=ny?
< lispy> pirate's bay is still running
< lispy> but i don't know what ab=ny is so maybe it doesn't count
< shiruken> must be a furry video sex trading ring
< lispy> shiruken: yeah, maybe baloo can explain it
< lispy> although, if that is the case, i don't want to know...
< shiruken> anal beastiality = nookie with yaks
< shiruken> it's hard to type out
< shiruken> so you have to use the ab=ny shorthand
< shiruken> it's super sekkrit
< lispy> heh, i just realized ab=ny is a typo for "any"
< shiruken> sh.
< shiruken> heh
< shiruken> ah, the b for the n and the = for the backspace
* lispy nods
< shiruken> it's 2 typos
< shiruken> which proves
< shiruken> that we are all 2 typos away from sex with yaks
< lispy> wow, that's a scary thought
< shiruken> I just lowered your wpm
< shiruken> sure, i can do 100 wpm, but think of the yaks

#177 + (-8) - [X]
< cwells> hm
< cwells> i wonder why i keep expecting bits of javascript i find
on the net to actually work
< cwells> sigh
< cwells> i'll never learn
< rlangis> eventually you will
< rlangis> some snippet will morph into a huge trojan, take over
your system, have sex with your girlfriend, drink all
your beer and ddos your ISP
< rlangis> then, only then, MAYBE you'll learn
< cwells> ah. so *that's* who did that
* rlangis wanders off to download some javascript snippets

#197 + (-8) - [X]
<shiruken> how many guys like girls who wear pigtails and dress up in a school girl uniform?
<shiruken> are they pedophiles?
<shiruken> you don't see girls asking you to wear a peter pan outfit
<Weebs> short skirts and handlebars... It's not about being a pedophile... it's about convienence

#231 + (-8) - [X]
< malfunct> another thing to try is putting DSL on the hard drive and see
if that speeds it up enough to be as usable as win98
< cwells> usable as win98...
< Nihilist> You could set it on fire, that should make it as usable as
win98

#257 + (-8) - [X]
<@Weebs> cobol doesn't run on linux right?
<@VxD> your mom runs cobol
<@Weebs> thanks bastard
<@Weebs> so what distro is my mom?
<@VxD> slackware :)

#254 + (-8) - [X]
< absolutejoe> Nice ... google's logo is in braille ... and the first
link, is to wikipedia ... which has one item in the trivia
area on Louis Braille ... that in 2006 Google honored
Braille by displaying their logo in braille ...

#284 + (-8) - [X]
<__cwells__> a box has four sides
<__cwells__> four straight sides
<fords> six.
<fords> unless you meant the other kind of box.
<shiruken> 5
<shiruken> you need a top hole
<fords> a five sided box would be impractical for moving
<fords> you'd have a beastly time stacking them in the truck
<shiruken> offset them
<__cwells__> a box has four sides and a top and a bottom
<__cwells__> sheesh
<shiruken> so the bottom corners are halfway at sides
<shiruken> i.e. the position of the box is offset of the one below it by 45 degrees
<fords> what would that be called, a pentahedron?
<__cwells__> the china supports the weight of the other boxes
<shiruken> fords: 2 boxes stacked
<shiruken> that's what it'd be called
<fords> shiruken: no, because stacking does not change the shape of the box
<shiruken> the shape of the box is never changed
<shiruken> the orientation of the box is
<shiruken> I made it gay
<shiruken> here's a simple exercise
<shiruken> get a box
<shiruken> position it so that a wall of the box
<shiruken> is facing you
<shiruken> flat
<shiruken> then move the box by 45 degrees to the right
<shiruken> so the pointy part is facing you directly
<shiruken> see, I don't change the shape of the box
<fords> now i bow sharply plunging that corner into my eyes?
<__cwells__> and to think people claim IRC is a waste of time

#346 + (-8) - [X]
* lon_home is psyched that the VFR broke him of being afraid to work on bikes
<@shiruken> you shouldn't be afraid of a bike
<@shiruken> a bike should be afraid of you
* Weebs agrees with shiruken
<@Weebs> next time strip a couple head bolts and show the bike who's boss!
<@VxD> head bolt strippers
<@hemp> baby... you can strip my head bolt anytime
#349 + (-8) - [X]
< kronq_> Oh shit -- some has hijacked my baby
< kronq_> I need to scrape together $50k
< dgibbons> man, for 50k, you can just make another one
< pud> oh much cheaper
< dgibbons> 25k and i'll make you one
#394 + (-8) - [X]
< Zolotkey> Hmm interesting a recruiter called about a sysadmin job because she found my resume on dice :o
< Zolotkey> Direct to Hire :o
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: You must have tiny hands.
< Zolotkey> why do you say that?
< Ryphecha> Zolotkey: If you had average-sized hands, how would you ever write your resume on something as small as dice?
< cjdaniel> hahaha

#388 + (-8) - [X]
<Ryvius> woow, Brink is retarded. it doesn't support my resolution
<VxD> o/~ you say you wanna resolussssshhhhhhuuuunnnn wellllll you know, you can't have it all the time o/~
#397 + (-8) - [X]
<Zolotkey> I wonder if windows people try to show their expenses by stating they prefer Pro over Ultimate or 95 vs 98, etc..
<Zolotkey> *e-Penis's
VxD> haha, that would be amazing
<VxD> "Yeah, well I built it myself from scratch, this Windows ME machine. Most people don't like this distro but I like showing my e-peen that I can make it do anything that their fancy Windows 7 can..."
<VxD> "Had to compile my drivers from scratch in C# since no one makes drivers for Win ME. Runs so much faster than pre-compiled packages..."
<marx> hahahahah, dying
<VxD> "I'm still running Windows 3.11, if it was good enough for my dad, it's good enough for me. Had to hack up a way to make it dial to my other computer over serial to get internet access but it works great now."
#92 + (-7) - [X]
< rlangis> that's a cheap slut!
< vertex--> hmm where is this Raffles?
< vertex--> because I could go for lime juice and a slut right about now
< rlangis> I could go for a slut that cheap...but then again, you get
what you pay for
< malfunct`> ya know, for all of google's greatness, they can't make
orkut work
< malfunct`> 90% of all searches fail with a "Bad, bad server. No donut
for you" error
< malfunct`> actually thats 90% of all clicks on orkut end with that
< vertex--> yeah but a cheap slut is still better than orkut
< malfunct`> eh, I suppose, though I haven't been looking for sluts
< shiruken> you gotta shop around for the best slut deal


#357 + (-7) - [X]
< fords> i once had a drunk makeout with my mom.
< fords> err, *your mom
#72 + (-7) - [X]
-!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has joined #pdxlug
17:10 < ferris> so...is this the real pdxlug?
17:10 < grishnav> No, this is the fake one
17:11 < ferris> thought so
17:11 < ferris> so, you are all in PDX area?
17:11 < grishnav> get back in orloug, we're all over there :P
17:12 < grishnav> orlug even
17:12 < grishnav> this channel is just for idling and stuff
17:12 < grishnav> :)
17:12 < ferris> lol
17:12 < ferris> ok
17:16 -!- ferris [~ferris@c-67-164-111-65.client.comcast.net] has left #pdxlug
["Leaving"]

#223 + (-7) - [X]
< geekinpink> I already get all the sex I want
< shiruken> yeah, but does your boyfriend?

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