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#85 + (10) - [X]
< Nihilist> I had dreams about you less week shiruken do you have a crush
on me?
< shiruken> Nihilist: no
< Nihilist> oh.
< Nihilist> oh well.
< shiruken> look, it's not you, it me
< shiruken> honest
< Nihilist> yeah.. right.
< shiruken> it's that.. well.. you know.. I'm currently married
< shiruken> and my wife gives me what you can't
< Nihilist> that didn't stop you last week when you... did those things..
< Nihilist> she can't please you like i can!!!!
< shiruken> that's true
< shiruken> she does a good job
< shiruken> you don't
< thumper^> THINGS HE DOOO?
< shiruken> sorry it had to end this way
< shiruken> but..
< shiruken> it's over
< Nihilist> NOO
* Nihilist cries
< Nihilist> but but shiruken
< Nihilist> I love you!
< shiruken> also, pressure of getting married puts wierd strains on people
< shiruken> you start thinking, did I have sex with everyone I wanted to?
< shiruken> did I want to have a messy 50 guy gang bang first?

#228 + (4) - [X]
< lispy> everyone has had more sex than me!
< shiruken> duh
< shiruken> of course
< shiruken> hell, my first time, I bet I had more sex than you

#291 + (6) - [X]
< teknotus> dgibbons: Does your work have the same NSFW principles as
other places?
< fords> and i thought the nsfw bit was a joke
< fords> (it's not)
< teknotus> VERY NSFW
< dgibbons> teknotus: meaning if no one saw it it didnt happen?
< WormRunner> depends on what kind of work you do
< rlangis> I suppose looking at stock sites would be NSFW if you were in
the porn industry

#274 + (21) - [X]
20:40 -!- vertex- [n=vertex@69-9-146-48.dsl.mind.net] has joined #orlug
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> OH THANK GOD
20:40 < vertex-> np
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> he did find it and brought it inside
20:40 < vertex-> sorry I'm late
20:40 < cactus> :)
20:40 < cactus> that's what she said..
20:40 < cactus> oh wait..
20:40 < HentaiJessOIT> hahahahaha

#311 + (10) - [X]
13:49 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, wats your name?
13:49 <@Ducbot> cruiseoveride: no idea
13:49 < cruiseoveride> VxD, how do i create alias for What to wat ?
13:50 <@VxD> well since that's not actually english, he isn't going to play
13:50 <@VxD> Ducbot: spell wat
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wat: swat what waft wait Walt want wart
watt at bat cat eat fat hat mat Nat oat pat rat sat tat vat wet
wit wot Wac wad wag wan war was wax way w at w-at
13:50 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, spell wats
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wats: swats whats wafts waits wants
warts watts Ats was bats cats eats fats hats lats mats oats
pats rats tats vats wets wits Wacs wads wags wars ways watt w
Ats w-Ats
13:50 <@VxD> mats oats pats rats!
13:51 < cruiseoveride> so it cant be aliased?
13:51 <@VxD> it could, but I don't want to
13:51 < cruiseoveride> common
13:51 <@VxD> I'd rather make you use english
13:53 < cruiseoveride> I'd rather make you use English
13:53 < cruiseoveride> Proper nouns are spelled with Capital Letters
13:53 <@VxD> that's nice there eh bloke?
13:54 <@VxD> I wonder what the Capitol of Letters would be named...
13:54 < cruiseoveride> you know what im getting at man
13:54 < cruiseoveride> How do you alias question key words like "Whats"
13:55 <@VxD> it is already built-in, contractions like "what's" and "who's"
13:55 < cruiseoveride> contraction != alias
13:56 <@VxD> why would I want an alias for "whats"
13:56 < cruiseoveride> wats?
13:56 < cruiseoveride> Its not ALL about YOU man
13:56 <@VxD> actually, in this case, it is
13:57 * cruiseoveride cries and tells the teacher
13:58 <@jasn> because typing that h is just sooo much work
14:02 < cruiseoveride> I just wanted him to be a little more *intelligent*
14:02 <@jasn> intelligent by using improper speach?
14:02 <@jasn> makes sense...

#175 + (10) - [X]
<@Weebs> it always makes me nervous when VxD isn't actively talking...
I'm scared that he's finally snapped and has done something that
would warrent his arrest :(

#7 + (6) - [X]
< karrlii> i have bad hair
< karrlii> i need to get it cut
< lispy> too bad penises don't work like that
< lispy> "My penis is too short, I better let it grow out"
< karrlii> haha
< karrlii> i don't like big penises they hurt
< lispy> as ken always says, "Is 11" big? I don't really know...I
haven't seen very many penises"
#190 + (21) - [X]
<Weebs_> I sung no whitesnake this weekend
<Weebs_> but I was able to sleep with a hottie (read sleep as sleep, not as sex or even getting some)
<VxD> read: sleep in same tent but different sleeping bags and try to hold back sobs as he jacks himself off to sleep...
<Weebs_> hey come on, give me some credit
<Weebs_> back of an explorer 1 sleeping bag ok
<VxD> sorry, couldn't resist
<VxD> didn't the hand motions wake her up?
<Weebs_> haha nope, she was out
#165 + (6) - [X]
<@Weebs> I pee a little bit everynight on my roommates bed
<@VxD> because you miss his mouth?

#210 + (19) - [X]
<cellarstella> I'm trying to think of someway that a blowjob is like knitting, but I really can't think of anything
<Miichael> lol
<cellarstella> guess you're SOL, cwells
<thumper^> Requires skill and a gentle touch?
<cellarstella> not really
<thumper^> Well I guess you're not sucking me off then.
#140 + (2) - [X]
<shiruken> anyhow, those are good grades
<nate> thanks dad
<lispy> i knew it!
<lispy> nate is the love child of VxD and shiruken !
<GiR> I'm gonna make toast!
* lispy runs to the press with his new story
<lispy> screw this, i'm going home
<shiruken> lispy: he got his mac from some daddy
<nate> his name was Visa
<nate> and he owns my butthole

#208 + (26) - [X]
< cwells> shiruken: have another coffee
< shiruken> ?
< shiruken> I'm just not subtle
< shiruken> ever
< cwells> i'm just basing my observation on sheer line count
< shiruken> ah
< lispyoncrack> does this conversation make my logfile look fat?

#179 + (21) - [X]
<rlangis> fuck the girl scouts!
<rlangis> er...
<geekinpink> lol
<forkmaster> I could, but I think I would get in trouble
<geekinpink> isn't that their new moto?
<dooder> if it's not, it should be
<rlangis> no, that's the boy scout's new motto
<geekinpink> fuck the girl scouts...buy a cookie
<dooder> they can start selling cherries

#14 + (33) - [X]
<rlangis> Not to be unpatriotic (or gay), but I'd much rather give a blowjob than go to war.
#213 + (2) - [X]
<cwells> oh well, i just washed my hair.. oh well i think they're closed.. oh well i'd have to take this BIG DICK OUT OF MY AS
#25 + (20) - [X]
*** pr0kfried (~mking@kraken.magnetinternet.com) has quit: Remote closed the
*** Nihilist (~nihilist@kraken.magnetinternet.com) has quit: Read error: 104
(Connection reset by peer)
<VxD> one host, two souls, all dead
#286 + (36) - [X]
<shiruken> break in the back
<shiruken> like you normally do
<VxD> I thought you were hinting at brokeback for a second there
<dooder> VxD : that might be cool. I think i'll at least try and get the holes dug this weekend
#62 + (1) - [X]
< lispy> charlieS: well i don't have solutions memorized to arbitrary
problems, i don't consider that knowing the material. I have
things like definitions and proofs memorized, and then try to
solve new problems based on that. It just takes me a while, but
really I can't hold enough in my head to memorize arbitrary
< charlieS> lispy, right, you don't memorize problems.. heh
< charlieS> it sounds like you haven't practiced the proofs enough,
that's all :)
< VxD> charlieS: you can cut them off of the back of the boxes of cereal
and then send them off for toys! I know proofs just fine!

#353 + (13) - [X]
< vtpark> I am watching some sort of fetish tv show on Virgin 1.
< VxD> mmm, virgin fetishes!
< vtpark> they are on dungeon fetishes right now
< vtpark> I kind of tolerate commercials more because I don't feel like a
target demographic anymore.
< VxD> after the sex change your whole buying pattern doesn't fit in the
box huh?
#144 + (2) - [X]
<lispy> damn, my rio doesn't hold a charge when it is off
<VxD> you need the Rio Grande to do that
#100 + (7) - [X]
|18:03| < nate> my ass is on fire
|18:03| < rlangis> damnit VxD, I told you to use lube!

#71 + (4) - [X]
< ferris> most people here are from where Portland, Eugene and Corvalis?
< grishnav> yes, and most people here also use black backgrounds, making
your blue text fucking impossible to see
< shiruken> and Beaverton
< ferris> lol how could i forget
< grishnav> is there lots of beaver in beaverton?
< grishnav> ferris: some people do it by not remembering
< grishnav> others are just ignorant

#271 + (2) - [X]
< Baloo> I might be going to Vegas in August with my girlfriend
< geekinpink> for a few days
< geekinpink> Baloo, are you guys getting hitched up?
< Baloo> geekinpink: I wasn't planning on it
< cactus> if you are drunk and elvis shows up..
< cactus> shit might go down

#322 + (2) - [X]
< lokkju_wrk_> these Mormons (a nice young couple - boy and girl, around
19) always came around in the late morning, once per week,
to all the houses. Well, my friend works nights, and had
just gotten up, and was about to get in the shower...
well hung over and not thinking very well - he heard a
knock and went to answer the door... This nice couple
looked at him, the girl yelled pervert, and they never did
come back... you see, he was only wearing a sock -
< lokkju_wrk_> and it was on his foot

#305 + (2) - [X]
<baloo> http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/?cpg=48H
I might have to get one of these.
<baloo> I keep sleeping through my alarm clock
<CryptoMole> cool clock
<baloo> Yeah.
<kraptv> hi clock lover
<CryptoMole> wow cool geek toys here
<NotoriousOIT> mmmm....vibrating alarm cock....
<baloo> I like how my alarm clock gets progressively louder, but the tone sucks so I usually put it on the radio, and I like how I can adjust the snooze time, but the problem is it still gives up after 3 tries.
<NotoriousOIT> *CLOCK*

#124 + (16) - [X]
< ashore> We've talked about integrating at least our Samba environments
with Active directory, but authenticating UNIX users through
the windows active directory would be really nice.
< VxD> everyone wants single sign-on these days
< shiruken> well, there is kerberos
< shiruken> has been for a long time
< kraptv> ashore: kerberos. straightforward.
< wilco> Woeks okay roo
< wilco> works
< wilco> fuckin papercuts
< kraptv> we've got single sign on with linux, irix, macos (a mess), and
< ashore> how difficult is it to setup?
< shiruken> well, kraptv did it, so it can't be too hard
< kraptv> oh kenny.
< kraptv> it was sooo easy
< kraptv> i just dubble clicked and stuff
#19 + (17) - [X]
<floppyfw> my stepmother #5 asks me "how can you put up a web page? I thought AOL owned the internet?"
#20 + (6) - [X]
<VxD> would you could you with a whore, would you could you against the door?
<VxD> you know, dirty Dr. Seuss just seems to come naturally
<rlangis> I would do it with a whore, I would bang her up against the door
<rlangis> I would bang her all night long, I would bang her in a throng
#339 + (14) - [X]
<@VxD> hell, I'll sell you all kinds of girl scout cookies
<@VxD> I have three girls selling this year
<@VxD> sheesh
<@Nihilist> geez
<@hemp> ya, but are you offering remote rendevouz with your wife?
<@Nihilist> yeah can i get some double stuffyourwife cookies?
<@hemp> haha
#35 + (5) - [X]
<charlieS> hrm. /kick doesn't work
-:- charlieS was kicked off #pdxlug by shiruken (testing)
<shiruken> hrm, seems it does
<linuxninja> lol
#301 + (4) - [X]
< fords> i know the feeling
< fords> i know it like a junkie knows junk
< IamLordV1ldemort> bbut fords , I just want to kow _why_ you put it in your arm and shoot it up?!!?!
< IamLordV1ldemort> huh?
< IamLordV1ldemort> Were you raised that way???
< IamLordV1ldemort> NO!
< fords> ...yes, actually, i was.
< shiruken> my dad said, "Son, you're 16 now. Time to tie off daddy's arm"
< fords> hahaha
< shiruken> which was good
< shiruken> it got me off of spoon and lighter duty
#82 + (13) - [X]
< pr0kfried> chicks with tatoos always look trashy to me
< shiruken> depends on the tattoo
< VxD> "Slippery when wet"
< shiruken> "Instant Slut: Just add Alchohol"
< VxD> "Pull back tab to reveal prize"

#167 + (27) - [X]
< wilco> My wife returns today! Yay!
< VxD> the IRS is giving you a refund?
< wilco> Two weeks of abstinence^Wabsence is hard to bear!
< wilco> Haha
< VxD> "I'm sorry sir, when we asked if you wanted to file your wife
jointly we didn't intend you to mail her with your forms."

#226 + (7) - [X]
-!- Polk_ [i=kew@c-67-171-140-109.hsd1.or.comcast.net] has joined #orlug
< kraptv> Hi Polk. I love your audio. I gotta go.
#343 + (4) - [X]
NotoriousOIT: haha, i'm talking to some friends about how I had an HPV scare in college
NotoriousOIT: i had an abnormal pap, had to go in for a colposcopy and a cervical biopsy
NotoriousOIT: turned out negative, but it was still scary as hell trying to figure out where the fuck i could've picked up the cunt-plague
#132 + (9) - [X]
< thumper^> I would look funny sitting on a bike that small.
< lispy> chicks dig a funny guy
< VxD> circus clowns get all the action
* lispy goes to join the circus
< shiruken> you just don't want that action
* VxD watches the bearded lady go down on lispy
< thumper^> The bearded lady is randy for your little wang

#221 + (25) - [X]
hemp: is google down?
VxD: like weebs on your sister
#111 + (7) - [X]
< baloo> Jeeze, Ringo Raccoon signs off FurryMUCK like he's going to bed
for the night then calls me on the phone out of the blue.
< lispy> baloo: booty call eh?
#166 + (5) - [X]
< vertex-> ah friday off
< vertex-> it's like
< vertex-> like
< vertex-> like heaven. corporate heaven. massa done let me have a day
for myself
< dooder> you lucky bastard
< vertex-> oh but massa say I gots to shine his ass on Monday.
< vertex-> twice
#17 + (20) - [X]
<wilee_work> next time I go the a lug , I need to see the flesh copy of the people I talk to
#105 + (18) - [X]
<vertex--> if i ever can name a mountain, i will call it "Samba"
<vertex--> Mount Samba
#309 + (5) - [X]
< shiruken> yeah, you don't want zoosex
< shiruken> sure it sounds ok at first
< shiruken> then you draw the elephant
< shiruken> and the elephant doesn't stop when you cry
#4 + (4) - [X]
23:27 <largos> hm... I'm a bit curious where those messages are.
23:27 <lispy> they will come through
23:28 <lispy> i did a cvs something or another the other day and it took
like 20-30 for it to show up in my inbox
23:28 <largos> yeah, like a herd of turtles stampeeding through
23:28 <lispy> ah, they're so cute!
23:28 <lispy> GiR: look!
23:28 <GiR> lispy: sorry...you suck
23:28 <lispy> {}: dances with turtles
23:28 <{}> lispy: I want something that turns mere turtles into four
foot tall ninjas or something.
#81 + (4) - [X]
12:58 < Nihilist> I'm at 7 items on my to do list *fights to keep it below 10*
12:58 < shiruken> bah, I have like 40-50
12:58 < _vertex_> Nihilist: if it hits nits shutdown your boss(es) computers
12:58 < _vertex_> nine even
13:01 < Nihilist> yes sir!

*time passes...*

13:28 < Nihilist> gack! up to nine tasks!
13:28 * VxD shoots one of Nihilist's tasks in the foot
13:29 < Nihilist> hahah!
13:29 < Nihilist> take that task!
13:29 < Nihilist> damnit! that was my task of taking lunch!
13:29 < Nihilist> gack!
13:29 * Nihilist runs around trying to find something to stop the bleeding

#108 + (19) - [X]
<VxD>apt-get install erection
<baloo>I'm suddenly reminded of an old Slashdot Radio bit. "apt-get install jesus"
<VxD># apt-get install jesus
<VxD>Reading Package Lists... Done
<VxD>Building Dependency Tree... Done
<VxD>E: Couldn't find package jesus
<VxD>can't find jesus's package
<baloo>I think it's in experimental.
VxD looks in unstable
<VxD>ha, I get results
<VxD>$ apt-cache search jesus
<VxD>ispanish - The Spanish dictionary for ispell
<VxD>myspell-es - The Spanish dictionary for myspell
<baloo>#apt-get install jesus
<baloo>Reading Package Lists...
<baloo>Building Dependency Tree...
<baloo>The following extra packages will be installed:
<baloo> erection
<baloo>The following NEW packages will be installed:
<baloo> erection jesus
<baloo>0 packages upgraded, 4 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
<baloo>Need to get 8329kB of archives. After unpacking, 17.2MB will be used.
<baloo>Do you want to continue? [Y/n]
<Nihilist>jesus is only 17 megs?
<baloo>jesus and erection
<VxD>they sure know how to make code in Heaven
<thumper^>good compression

#147 + (12) - [X]
<VxD> funny, I did that Monday
<pr0kfried> made a sammich, or had sex?
<VxD> sure
<shiruken> vxd probably did them at the same time
<shiruken> he's multi-tasking like that
#224 + (23) - [X]
<cactus> fur is not the suit! skin is the suit!
<Baloo> cactus: Soylent Men's Warehouse?
<cactus> its made out of people..but you will like the way you look, I gaurantee
<lispy`> it puts the lotion on its fur or it gets the hose again

#227 + (10) - [X]
< cwells> great
< cwells> we have ants in the kitchen
< cwells> i debated for a moment whether i should clean up, but opted
instead to stab one with a butcher knife
< cwells> that should discourage the rest of them
< rlangis> damned skippy

#348 + (2) - [X]
< Daehlie> the corporate world is like a knife fight, you muscle out some
turf without gettings hurt too bad, and then you protect it with your life
#364 + (2) - [X]
*** Weebs has signed off IRC ().
VxD: oh noes, he died!
hemp: there is another
*** Weebs has joined #sportbikesnw.
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