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<matchboy> hurt me.
<VxD> you heard us talking about gay man spanking earlier didn't
you...
#304
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< thumper^> VxD ruied me for other inter office gay lovers
< shiruken> inter-office gay loving
< shiruken> do they put the name of the next person on your back and drop
you off at the front desk?
#137
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<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <shiruken> like, you don't pick up the name, 'Bukkake Bill'
by shining shoes
<lispy> %random * bukkake
<Hera> <HentaiJessOIT> Bukkake: when a mommy and a daddy and a
daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy and a daddy get together
so they can give mommy a special facial moisturizing treatment.
#111
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< baloo> Jeeze, Ringo Raccoon signs off FurryMUCK like he's going to bed
for the night then calls me on the phone out of the blue.
< lispy> baloo: booty call eh?
#311
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13:49 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, wats your name?
13:49 <@Ducbot> cruiseoveride: no idea
13:49 < cruiseoveride> VxD, how do i create alias for What to wat ?
13:50 <@VxD> well since that's not actually english, he isn't going to play
13:50 <@VxD> Ducbot: spell wat
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wat: swat what waft wait Walt want wart
watt at bat cat eat fat hat mat Nat oat pat rat sat tat vat wet
wit wot Wac wad wag wan war was wax way w at w-at
13:50 < cruiseoveride> Ducbot, spell wats
13:50 <@Ducbot> Possible spellings for wats: swats whats wafts waits wants
warts watts Ats was bats cats eats fats hats lats mats oats
pats rats tats vats wets wits Wacs wads wags wars ways watt w
Ats w-Ats
13:50 <@VxD> mats oats pats rats!
13:51 < cruiseoveride> so it cant be aliased?
13:51 <@VxD> it could, but I don't want to
13:51 < cruiseoveride> common
13:51 <@VxD> I'd rather make you use english
13:53 < cruiseoveride> I'd rather make you use English
13:53 < cruiseoveride> Proper nouns are spelled with Capital Letters
13:53 <@VxD> that's nice there eh bloke?
13:54 <@VxD> I wonder what the Capitol of Letters would be named...
13:54 < cruiseoveride> you know what im getting at man
13:54 < cruiseoveride> How do you alias question key words like "Whats"
13:55 <@VxD> it is already built-in, contractions like "what's" and "who's"
13:55 < cruiseoveride> contraction != alias
13:56 <@VxD> why would I want an alias for "whats"
13:56 < cruiseoveride> wats?
13:56 < cruiseoveride> Its not ALL about YOU man
13:56 <@VxD> actually, in this case, it is
13:57 * cruiseoveride cries and tells the teacher
13:58 <@jasn> because typing that h is just sooo much work
14:02 < cruiseoveride> I just wanted him to be a little more *intelligent*
14:02 <@jasn> intelligent by using improper speach?
14:02 <@jasn> makes sense...
#222
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[ absolutejoe] Darn VPN, I have to fix stuff from home ... darn technology ... I wouldn't have this problem if I was a yack milker, people wouldn't be bringing me their yacks saying, hey, I know you were sleeping, but could you milk my yack ???
#82
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< pr0kfried> chicks with tatoos always look trashy to me
< shiruken> depends on the tattoo
< VxD> "Slippery when wet"
< shiruken> "Instant Slut: Just add Alchohol"
< VxD> "Pull back tab to reveal prize"
#373
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< the-wes> is there a way I can tell if I'm inside of Screen from the command line?
< Wraithan> the-wes: echo $TERM
< marxu> what Wraithan said ^
< cjdaniel> What marxu said ^
< Rev_Slid3r> yup ^
< marxu> we are a conga line of RIGHT
#100
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|18:03| < nate> my ass is on fire
|18:03| < rlangis> damnit VxD, I told you to use lube!
#220
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<Nihilist> you suck more and more every day
<cwells> hm
<cwells> so does your server
<cwells> as i pull one piece off of it everytime you talk shit to me
<cwells> luckily for you most of the peices are small
<cwells> like this capacitor that just came off
<Nihilist> and uhm.. i put suger in your girlfriend and fucked your car!
<rlangis> stella is sweet and his car is already fucked. ;)
<rlangis> you're quick, Nihilist
<cellarstella> I got sugar in me!
#277
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<Baloo> LinuxWorld started with a fire drill today.
<Baloo> The Unisys booth had a server catch fire an hour into the convention
<HentaiJessOIT> OMG
<HentaiJessOIT> freaky
<HentaiJessOIT> i gotta shut a few computers down
<Baloo> Kayfox said "Heh, typical unisys"
<Angel_Bear> I thought Linux was the OS that was supposed to Not Suck.
<Baloo> Hey now.
<Baloo> The software was willing, but the hardware was weak and flammable.
#104
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virtualdev: I'm playing MSSQL DBA today
virtualdev: *sigh*
virtualdev: I wish they would have approved my bloody training in that
bykguy: HEH
virtualdev: I have a couple online classes that I'm taking, but it isn't the same
bykguy: nope
virtualdev: I like having the instructors hands all over me...
virtualdev: uh, I mean, hands-on training
#94
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< grishnav> So you're driving along in the desert, and your engine siezes.
You have no food or water, and for some mysterious reason,
will die if you not get rescued today. You cannot get to the
town that is 10 miles down the road, and for whatever reason,
nobody is going to come by. How do you get rescued?
< _vertex_> light your spare tire on fire
< grishnav> ...
< lispy> grishnav: start playing solitare?
< grishnav> I have no idea what the answer is.
< VxD> eat your own sperm to survive
< grishnav> I was thinking maybe "signal the helocopter that happens to be
passing overhead," but I didn't think to ask about the
airspace in time.
< lispy> well, whenever you play solitare someone comes by to tell you how
to play, and bam! you're resuced
< grishnav> lispy: lol
< grishnav> that fucking rocks
< lispy> VxD: who but you thinks to "eat your own sperm to survive"?
Hmmm? Who? That's just wrong....
< grishnav> well, it is an antidepressant
< grishnav> and a happy face might make you live longer
#176
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17:31 < geekinpink> hmmm...I don't find him very attractive
17:33 < wilco> Most people don't :)
17:34 < geekinpink> and that size of penis sounds kinda painful.
17:47 < wilco> Eh, depends what you're into :)
#226
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-!- Polk_ [i=kew@c-67-171-140-109.hsd1.or.comcast.net] has joined #orlug
< kraptv> Hi Polk. I love your audio. I gotta go.
#93
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< shiruken> now, is it a bad sign if you fall asleep by passing out drunk
more than say 6 times a week?
< vertex--> shiruken: it's a bad sign if you find yourself waking up in
the bar's bathroom more than 3 times per week
< shiruken> hrm
< vertex--> truth is hard eh?
< shiruken> that's not hte only thing hard
< nate> what about the weener in your butt ?
#286
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<shiruken> break in the back
<shiruken> like you normally do
<VxD> I thought you were hinting at brokeback for a second there
<dooder> VxD : that might be cool. I think i'll at least try and get the holes dug this weekend
#71
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< ferris> most people here are from where Portland, Eugene and Corvalis?
< grishnav> yes, and most people here also use black backgrounds, making
your blue text fucking impossible to see
< shiruken> and Beaverton
< ferris> lol how could i forget
< grishnav> is there lots of beaver in beaverton?
< grishnav> ferris: some people do it by not remembering
< grishnav> others are just ignorant
#375
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< teknotus> Also donuts.
< teknotus> But if no one is comming I'll take them with me when I leave.
< teknotus> I just sneezed with a mouthfull of coffee. I'm guessing no one else will want donuts now.
#14
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<rlangis> Not to be unpatriotic (or gay), but I'd much rather give a blowjob than go to war.
#167
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< wilco> My wife returns today! Yay!
< VxD> the IRS is giving you a refund?
< wilco> Two weeks of abstinence^Wabsence is hard to bear!
< wilco> Haha
< VxD> "I'm sorry sir, when we asked if you wanted to file your wife
jointly we didn't intend you to mail her with your forms."
#192
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< keithgodat> well i pray but... unless your christian your gonna think
im insane ;-)
< robbyonrails> yeah, i think most prayers are insane
< keithgodat> well then your gonna think this is even more insane
< keithgodat> I speak in tounges, tremble when im in Gods presence, and
ive been slain in the spirit alot :D
< VxD> what level of Doom was that?
#136
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<@Weebs> I would really enjoy being at home right now
<@VxD> jack off hour?
#147
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<VxD> funny, I did that Monday
<VxD> TUNA
<pr0kfried> made a sammich, or had sex?
<VxD> sure
<shiruken> vxd probably did them at the same time
<shiruken> he's multi-tasking like that
#105
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<vertex--> if i ever can name a mountain, i will call it "Samba"
<vertex--> Mount Samba
#291
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< teknotus> dgibbons: Does your work have the same NSFW principles as
other places?
< fords> and i thought the nsfw bit was a joke
< fords> (it's not)
< teknotus> VERY NSFW
< dgibbons> teknotus: meaning if no one saw it it didnt happen?
< WormRunner> depends on what kind of work you do
< rlangis> I suppose looking at stock sites would be NSFW if you were in
the porn industry
#338
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< slid3r> hehe when we saw that commercial on tv .. my gf was like 'thats dumb' but I could totaly relate
< slid3r> it is a weird feeling
< slid3r> altho my car was never stolen, other stuff was
< shiruken> like your virginity
< slid3r> *sobb* I was only 28 when it happened
< slid3r> (so not ready)
< shiruken> the beard tickled the back of your neck?
< slid3r> yes, I begged helga to shave, but being european .. she refused
< shiruken> damn euros
< slid3r> word
< shiruken> and her armpit beard
< slid3r> surprisingly clean smelling tho
< slid3r> which is odd for a woman of 300 pounds
#228
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< lispy> everyone has had more sex than me!
< shiruken> duh
< shiruken> of course
< shiruken> hell, my first time, I bet I had more sex than you
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<VxD> hehe, emails are so much fun when people leave out words
<VxD> an example of one I got during the night, where the word "restore" was
left out: "Hello DBAs,
<VxD> Can you please the database in production."
<thumper^> heh
<thumper^> pet it nicely, and say nice things in it's ear.
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< matchboy> karrlii: i peaked at your photos on your site of you in a
swimsuit!
< matchboy> you're way hotter than vxd in his
< matchboy> but, i still prefer the idea of baloo in his bear suit in a
swimsuit
#132
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< thumper^> I would look funny sitting on a bike that small.
< lispy> chicks dig a funny guy
< VxD> circus clowns get all the action
* lispy goes to join the circus
< shiruken> you just don't want that action
* VxD watches the bearded lady go down on lispy
< thumper^> The bearded lady is randy for your little wang
#20
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<VxD> would you could you with a whore, would you could you against the door?
<VxD> you know, dirty Dr. Seuss just seems to come naturally
<rlangis> I would do it with a whore, I would bang her up against the door
<rlangis> I would bang her all night long, I would bang her in a throng
#19
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<floppyfw> my stepmother #5 asks me "how can you put up a web page? I thought AOL owned the internet?"
#175
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<@Weebs> it always makes me nervous when VxD isn't actively talking...
I'm scared that he's finally snapped and has done something that
would warrent his arrest :(
#333
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<@shiruken> well, look at Ben and I
<@shiruken> that's what you're headed for if you get married
<@shiruken> 3 kids and tricking 20 year olds into giving you their trash for no money
<@Nihilist> i hate you
#196
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<inertia> Happy Flag Day!!!! :)
<VxD> Happy Fag Day?
<iNERG> It's flag day?
<Weebs> FLAG DAY!!!!
<iNERG> Huh.. it really is flag day.
<iNERG> I just looked on my calendar.
<iNERG> Almost makes me want to go out and find a flag with a big penis on it and hang it up.
<Weebs> YOU unpatriotic buttmunch, how can you not know it's flagday
* inertia looks around for her vagina flag...
<Weebs> google big penis flag
<Weebs> "did you mean big penis fag?"
<iNERG> rofl
<iNERG> That's classic.
#255
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<HentaiJessOIT> OMG FUNNIEST LETTER TO THE EDITOR EVAAR
<HentaiJessOIT> If the universe was created by intelligent design, then why did the designer create so many dumb people?
<HentaiJessOIT>
<HentaiJessOIT> BILL SNOUFFER, Southwest Portland
#107
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15:11 < _vertex_> in the same way that oral surgery is legend
15:11 < shiruken> I like oral
15:12 * lispy nods at shiruken
15:13 < lispy> any guy that says he doesn't like oral is just trying to get laid ;)
15:13 < _vertex_> hehehe
15:13 < shiruken> hrm, never knew that liking oral was an inhibitor to getting nookie
15:14 < shiruken> though I wonder how many guys turn down a blowjob
15:14 < shiruken> "Want a blowjob?"
15:14 < shiruken> "Nah, I'm ok"
15:14 < matchboy> it's like passing up a bong hit
15:14 < shiruken> totally
15:14 < shiruken> it just doesn't happen
15:14 < matchboy> "Nah, that's cool... maybe next time."
15:15 < shiruken> I give the same response to both
15:15 < shiruken> "Just don't tell my wife"
#294
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<agilman> Im bidding on a dish network card reader
<agilman> so I will be able to get all channels for free like I used to
<shiruken> because you like to get sued?
<agilman> sued by whom?
<shiruken> dish or directv
<agilman> Im stealing from dish
<agilman> they need a warrant to check my house
<agilman> having a sattelite on your roof isn't proof alone
<shiruken> nah, the card reader is
<shiruken> it's proof enough
<agilman> you're such a pussy
<agilman> do you never park in handicap parking either?
<shiruken> only when I was driving the handicap van
<shiruken> go ahead, I know people who got sued :)
<agilman> or how about tasting stuff at winco?
*shiruken shrugs
<shiruken> go ahead
<Baloo> agilman: You park in handicapped spaces?
<agilman> I am, I hope I win the bidding
<agilman> Baloo: sometimes
<agilman> done that like 3 times
<Baloo> agilman: So... your handicap... is it mental?
#21
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< VxD> yeah, goddamn mysql
< VxD> it makes Access look good
#288
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<Angel_Bear> I once did a Google search on "flesh eating bacteria".
<Angel_Bear> Sure enough, in the Google listings, I read "Flesh Eating Bacteria: Whatever you want, you can get it on eBay."
#17
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<wilee_work> next time I go the a lug , I need to see the flesh copy of the people I talk to
#144
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<lispy> damn, my rio doesn't hold a charge when it is off
<VxD> you need the Rio Grande to do that
#205
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* thumper^ has a palm he never uses
VxD> you jack off with your feet?
#166
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< vertex-> ah friday off
< vertex-> it's like
< vertex-> like
< vertex-> like heaven. corporate heaven. massa done let me have a day
for myself
< dooder> you lucky bastard
< vertex-> oh but massa say I gots to shine his ass on Monday.
< vertex-> twice
#30
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<Weebs> I can't remembermy router pw
<VxD> let me see if I can hack it
-:- SignOff Weebs: #sportbikesnw (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<VxD> HAHAHAHAHAHA
#354
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< VxD> yeah, I used BitchX for years, until someone finally convinced me to switch to irssi
< Wraithan> VxD: try weechat
< Wraithan> it is nice :D
< VxD> does it give me a big e-penis?
< Wraithan> yeah
< VxD> woot! 8========================D
< Wraithan> increase by at least 50%!
#216
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<robbyonrails> i bought a Teen Beat magazine
<robbyonrails> cut the eyes out it
<robbyonrails> off tons of girls
<cwells> this is my favorite show
<robbyonrails> and such
<robbyonrails> and pasted pages together
<robbyonrails> ripped off feet on some of them
<robbyonrails> and then left it in the mens bathroom
#171
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< cactus> vaginas dont like irc
< geekinpink> mine doesn't seem to mind
< cactus> well, you are sitting on it..what is it going to say?
< cactus> >_<
< geekinpink> murphle...weralkdfj...
#337
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< cactus> emo birthday cakes are the best
< cactus> they cut themselves